Christie's auction house has begun accepting sealed bids for a precious Stradivarius violin that had been hidden in the closet of reclusive heiress Huguette Clark for roughly twenty-five years. Christie's estimates its worth is between 7.5 and 10 million dollars.

Peaches Geldof is pregnant. The 22-year-old heiress-model-fame-a-ma-bob—known, among other things, for a pornographic one-night stand with a Williamsburg meathook enthusiast—is engaged to fetus father Thomas Cohen, the super-kissy gentleman pictured here.

The long-awaited Meghan McCain dispatch from the front lines of Occupy Wall Street has arrived—and she supports their message! This is because she doesn't understand the mathematical concepts underlying "99%" and "1%."

Shiny-haired political heiress Lauren Bush has made it official: She'll take fiance David Lauren's last name, and go by "Lauren Bush Lauren" after her wedding. Two Laurens with a Bush in the middle. Easiest society punchline since Ima Hogg. [P6]

When reclusive 104-year-old copper heiress Huguette Clark died last week without any heirs and her $500 million fortune under investigation, all New Yorkers wanted to hear about was what was going to happen to her $100 million Fifth Avenue palace.

Huguette Clark, a 104-year-old copper heiress, reportedly passed away this morning at Beth Israel Medical Center, where she's lived for the past two decades. With her advisers still under investigation for plundering her fortune, this is a Law & Order episode waiting to happen.

American idiot Meghan McCain has writed another column for the Daily Beast, which routinely passes along her Blackberried thoughts unedited, this time featuring a nontraditional spelling for the name of her father's campaign manager. Would you edit John Ashbery?

Jets owner Woody Johnson says he's endured a "brutal couple of weeks" since learning of the death of his troubled (and estranged) daughter, Casey Johnson.

Should we assume Lydia Hearst's dreams of reality TV stardom have been crushed? That would be unfortunate! She really could have set an example (see here, here, here, and here) for the youth of America to follow. [Twitter]

Casey Johnson was buried in New Jersey earlier today. As you could have guessed, Tila Tequila wasn't invited to attend the private service. But that's probably just as well since she's been busy today launching her own record label. [NYDN]

Peaches' "IDGAF crew" (that's "I Don't Give a Fuck" to the uninitiated) were "speeding like I have never, ever witnessed" when they crashed their car. Just in case there is a lawsuit later, Peaches thoughtfully recorded their carelessness on Twitter.

Anne Morell Petrillo, 38 year-old heiress to the Scripps newspaper fortune, jumped to her death off the Tappan Zee bridge last week. Trauma from a bad marriage and her mom's brutal murder? Perhaps. But the NYT has an additional theory:

Why did Lydia Hearst decide to get down and dirty in the music video for Miles Fisher's cover of the Talking Heads song "This Must Be the Place"? "Miles is a good friend so I was willing to be a part of it," she tells the Observer. In real life, I am very conservative." Just as you suspected! [NYO]

In The Last International Playboy, an indie film that came out last month, Lydia Hearst can be seen in getting it on with a guy and a girl in the opening scene. But because that was last month and this is this month, she's back with new footage of her engaging in a threesome. This time it's an American Psycho-inspired music video for Miles Fisher's cover of the Talking Heads song, "This Must Be The Place." (Huh?) But we can't help but be a little disappointed. After all, we were just beginning to take her seriously. [YouTube via Gawker]

Lydia Hearst appears topless in the new issue of Italian GQ. Since the pics appear in a Condé Nast mag—and not in one owned by, say, Larry Flynt—it constitutes art/fashion, and thus is not at odds with her promise not to take her clothes off when she appeared in the French edition of Playboy. But if you'd like something to spice up your day—and you're not at work where looking at nude pics may be frowned upon—here you go. [Gawker]

Emily Brill, the daughter of media mogul Steve Brill and the "hardest" "working" heiress on the interwebs, is simply exhausted! Commenters made some snide remarks about her latest blog post on the edgy, underground world of rich kids trading their meds with each other. You anonymous online detractors just don't understand the drama of Emily's life. Try to imagine surviving her grueling schedule-the nonstop stress of being a professional blogger. Narrate for us, Ms. Brill:

Lydia, daughter of Patty Hearst and great-granddaughter of newspaper magnate William Randolph Hearst, is moving into her first Manhattan pad, yay! It's in the Sheffield 57 on West 57th, reports Page Six. It's "very San Simeon," the model/self-promoter said, back in November, referring to the Hearst Castle in California (and the inspiration for the vast, deserted Xanadu in Citizen Kane). OK, we get it already—you're a Hearst. "But on a much smaller scale," she added. For reals! You can't buy much of an apartment in Midtown for only $1.49 mil. [Page Six]

Single Girls and their Wingmen and BFs and Girl Playmates and Squeakies hopped in their Cabbage last night to confront the Clit Teasers, Social Hand Grenades, and All Text No Trousers types who awaited them in the City. Some of them wound up at Bloomingdale's SoHo at the book party for Imogen Lloyd Webber's advice manual The Single Girl's Survival Guide, which is the source of the wholly original euphemisms above and many more. "[Pink superscript 'I']t is a truth which should be universally acknowledged that a single girl can be in possession of the most wonderful life," the book begins. With the help of photographer Nikola Tamindzic and maybe one too many passionfruit mojitos, tee hee, I set out to discover whether this could be true.