How to make your cleantech capitalist dreams resonate with the hicks and hawks of Washington, D.C.? In a perfect storm of liberal guilt and heartland pandering, former Secretary of the Navy and CIA director R. James Woolsey has become a domestic-energy sustainability convert. And he's just one of a number of red-blooded Americans who support the war in Iraq and investment in renewable energy, according to Mother Jones. Woolsey joined Henry Kissinger, who hasn't met a long-range bombing platform he didn't like, in endorsing John McCain, whom Woolsey compared to environmental steward Teddy Roosevelt. If cleantech startups want to drink from the fountain of defense spending that has traditionally irrigated the Valley, they need to pay attention.

TV homemaker and ex-con Martha Stewart met lots of equally famous people at the White House Correspondents' Association dinner, the highlight of the DC social calendar, and she has the photos. Cambodia-bomber Henry Kissinger is always "jovial and friendly," apparently.

Israeli president Shimon Peres has invited a number of luminaries to celebrate the country's 60th year of independence, including Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg, Yahoo president Sue Decker and Google cofounder Sergey Brin. They'll be discussing technology as part of the Facing Tomorrow conference in May. Zuckerberg's Facebook has been drawn into the Israeli-Palestinian conflict already, and is also banned in nearby Syria, so at least he has some relevant geopolitical experience.

As Mr. Kissinger said in his remarks: "I don't know what a blog is. I don't know how to find a blog." His computer, he said, is used to read newspapers.

"I thought my privacy was mine, not yours," he added somewhat feebly. Powerline's John Hinderaker shrugged and shot Kissinger a lopsided smile. "You should've known better. After all, I'm a blogger." [NYT]

The secretary of state from 1973 to 1977 and one of the most controversial political figures in recent history, Kissinger is now a high-priced consultant and public speaker.

Conrad Black, the funnest of the Canadian-born British press lords, is gearing up for his appeal on his conviction for fraud by taking down William F. Buckley Jr. and Henry Kissinger, two pals who stabbed him in the back. (The backstabbing only comes into play, of course, if you believe as Black does: That he is completely innocent. You, or a jury, certainly may not feel the same!) Buckley had written a letter to the judge to help reduce sentencing—but then pretty much retracted (or at least undermined it) over at the National Review. Kissinger, though, went around town proclaiming that Black was guilty "of something," and today Black writes the best takedown of him ever.

Hold on to your pomade, the Islamofascists are coming! The ever-strengthening case for war against Iran became nigh-airtight this morning with the Wall Street Journal's front- page story detailing the Islamic Republic's latest assault on freedom. Religious police, reports Andrew Higgins, are cracking down with unprecedented brutality, denying Iranian citizens even such basic human rights as coiffure choice and manscape self-determination:

Tina Brown's Times column is so recognizable, they don't even feel the need to print her byline anymore. (You should just know it's TINA!) This week's highlight: Henry Kissinger ponders Joe Millionaire. "It's puzzling," he says, "that women want to compete for such a dunce." Added bonus: Tina quotes LL Cool J lyrics.
Americans are from Mars; Iraqis are from Venus [Times2]

NYT writer Joyce Purnick says it's the season for making apologies, and points out a few people that notably haven'tKissinger, for a rather convincing and long-running impersonation of the Prince of Darkness; the head of the MTA, for telling the mayor to "shut up,"introducing the "kindergarten sandbox" phase of the negotiations; and Mayor Mike for buying a $600 bike most New Yorkers can't afford. (She may have been grasping for straws on the last one. If he'd have bought a discount bike, someone would have complained that he was shortchanging local businesses more money, but we digress...)

· Weinstein and Katzenberg are on the outs, Sophie Dahl's credit card is declined, Bjork attends the Agent Provocateur opening in Soho, and Daily News staffers take a catty little swipe at Page Six. [NY Daily News]
· A freshly Botox-ed Axl Rose deludes himself into thinking that it's 1988, he's 50 pounds lighter, 50 times cooler, and it's okay to skip your own concerts, because you're a big rock star and everyone loves you. Clear Channel begs to differ. [Page Six]
· Kirsten Dunst parades out of downtown brunch spot, Bubby's, with boyfriend's best friend to screw with the gossip columnists. [Page Six]
· Kissinger overhead saying "of all of them, I like Kennedy the best." Not what you think. [Page Six]