Earlier this month, the Calgary City Council voted 10 to 5 in favor of lifting a decades-old ban on backyard skate ramps, earning praise from both skate and boarding advocates across the city. The mood on the ground, however, was unclear until CTV sent reporter Jamie Mauracher to interview an area teen.

Meet an inspiring woman who hoists her butt and legs dangerously outside her second-floor window “every sunny day” in Novosibirsk, Russia, from 10am until 1pm, despite numerous complaints from the neighborhood, Meduza reports.

A judge today sentenced former U.S. Congressman and admitted child molester Dennis Hastert to fifteen months in federal prison—longer than the government had requested—citing the severity of Hastert’s crimes.

Dennis Hastert, the longest-serving Republican Speaker of the House lauded by his political friends and family as “a man of high moral character”—the “best kind of public official,” who “doesn’t deserve what he is going through”—just admitted in open court that he is a serial child molester.

William F. Powell, a 27-year-old waiter at the IHOP in Downtown Brooklyn, was arrested recently for allegedly giving out about $3,000 in free beverages to customers over a seven-month period. He faces charges of grand larceny, criminal possession of stolen property, and petit larceny, for the crime of being a cool waiter.

Imagine a world in which Emma Watson didn’t say “feminism” during her iconic U.N. speech. Damn. I can’t.

Saudi Arabia’s alcohol laws are notoriously strict—so strict that a 74-year-old British man just finished a year in a Jeddah prison and nearly faced 350 lashes over possession of homemade wine. Knowing the risks, one heroic man recently tried to smuggle 48,000 beers into the country dressed up as Pepsi cans.

In the pages of this weeks issue of The Hollywood Reporter sits a full-page ad taken out by one Eric D. Wilkinson. “I am a producer and writer of independent movies,” it begins. “I withdrew money I don’t really have from my savings to reach out today to tell you that I love the movie Die Hard. Let me say that again...I LOVE DIE HARD.”

Cops say a female Montana daycare operator was brutally assaulted last week while trying to protect three kids from their allegedly drunk dad, who had reportedly lost legal custody.

Wow—you like the Mets? Okay—congrats. A thousand apologies for my failure to immediately fall to my knees and worship your great moral courage.

The bipedal bear, the same one that captured the hearts and minds of a nation last year, is back.

“I can’t get it,” Avery says, “I can’t get it.”

In Los Angeles last night, a suspected car thief stopped and exited her plunder in the middle of a high-speed pursuit with police to dance to a few bars of Future’s “Where Ya At,” then returned to the car. Officers swarmed the vehicle and arrested her moments later, ABC 7 reports.

Three Americans, including two off-duty service members, are being praised as heroes after apprehending a suspected terrorist on a high-speed train traveling from Amsterdam to Paris. The Americans rushed the suspect and knocked him unconscious with his own AK-47, the New York Times reports.

Citing anonymous sources, TMZ reports that Lenny Kravitz was “privately horrified” that he showed the entire world his dick this week but will nevertheless continue to wear leather pants—thus ensuring his rock ‘n’ roll cred is still at least equal to Martha Stewart’s.

Two teenage sandwich artists thwarted an attempted robbery this week using nothing more than their natural apathy and the weight of their crushing indifference, WPRI reports.

You know why? Because his opinion no longer counts for shit. Smart kid.

On Sunday, an Alaska house cat had a clear message for a nosy black bear, telling the interloper (in the universal language of clawing), “Hey, big guy, get lost!”

Figo—a very good dog (who’s a very good dog—YOU ARE! YOU ARE! FIIIIGOOOO)—threw himself in front of a bus this weekend to save his blind owner from almost certain death. Imagine being loved that much??

If you feared that your hero, the $30 hot dog guy, had been defeated by the forces of Mayor Lex “Bill DeBlasio” Luthor, dry your tears. Although Ahmed Mohammed lost his job selling $30 wieners and priceless life lessons (same thing) to tourists near Ground Zero, a new hero has risen to take his place.