heroes
Rapper Layzie Bone Feeds Diabetic Man Fruit, Helps Save His Life
Hudson Hongo · 05/20/15 02:15AMHero Pizza Guy Gets Stabbed and Carjacked During Delivery
Hudson Hongo · 05/05/15 01:00AMUPDATE 2:45 p.m.: According to the San Antonio Express-News, Josh Lewis denies his boss’s version of events, saying the attacker stole his car with the pizzas in it and he did not complete his delivery. Our assessment of Lewis (who was stuck with “a huge dagger” in the line of duty) as a pizza hero stands.
Self-Reliant Subway Hero Doesn't Need Any of You Bastards
Hamilton Nolan · 04/08/15 09:17AMHere's to the N.J. Councilwoman Who Flipped Double Birds at the Mayor
Dayna Evans · 03/24/15 05:10PMNew Jersey, a state known for its equal number of local heroes, sheroes, and zeroes, has gained itself another member of the boss-applesauce community when a councilwoman from Mahwah flipped two middle fingers to the mayor of her town, calling him a "piece of shit" at a council meeting. Now that's how to get things done.
Taylor Berman · 01/26/15 03:15PM
Teen Disguised as Doctor Fools Hospital Staff for a Month: Police
Taylor Berman · 01/16/15 11:55AMAn Update on Chet Haze's Body Weight
Hamilton Nolan · 01/14/15 10:02AMThomas Piketty Is Such a Baller
Hamilton Nolan · 01/02/15 09:30AMHamilton Nolan · 12/18/14 12:30PM
Hero Couple Forges Documents to Live in Sick Million Dollar Mansion
Aleksander Chan · 12/11/14 02:50PMA Keystone Heights, Fla. couple turned themselves in to Clay County police earlier this week after allegedly forging documents to live in their $1.4 million, 7,000-square foot "home." The couple's ruse was exposed when the home's new, actual owners discovered people were already living in their house.
Richard Cohen Is a Real Man, Unlike All You Rapists
Hamilton Nolan · 11/25/14 09:32AMHero Cat Saves World From Another Goddamn Fucking Ukulele Cover
Jay Hathaway · 10/15/14 02:05PMThis video has become popular today as a short vignette about how cats are selfish and malicious and constantly interrupting your Important Human Business. Slice of life, right? We can all relate to those wacky cats! They’re annoying as hell, but we love ‘em anyway.
Lawyer Accused of Photoshopping Herself Into Photos With Celebrities
Aleksander Chan · 09/18/14 09:39PMSvitlana Sangary is in danger of having her California State Bar license suspended following accusations that she posted a series of fake photos of herself posing with celebrities and public officials—including Barack Obama, Kim Kardashian, the Clintons, George Clooney, and Donald Trump—to her professional website. The photos were apparently Photoshopped, and they're pretty good!
Pregnant Woman Fends Off Purse Snatcher Hours Before Giving Birth
Aleksander Chan · 09/17/14 09:25AMA pregnant woman was putting her groceries into her car in the parking lot of a Kroger's in Flint, Mich. when Mark Newton, 30, ran up and snatched her purse. According to police, the woman, nine months pregnant, chased after the thief, who pushed her to the ground. That's when two good Samaritans stepped in, who were able to take back the woman's purse.
Disgruntled Teen Worker Rubs Balls on Stuffed-Crust Hawaiian Pizza
Aleksander Chan · 09/16/14 09:27AMAustin Michael Symonds, an 18-year-old employee of a Papa Murphy's pizzeria in Georgetown, Texas, was arrested by police last week after he was allegedly caught by a customer rubbing his scrotum on a pizza order. According to the arrest warrant obtained by the Austin American-Statesman, the customer confronted the teen, asking him his age and then, "So you are old enough to know better than to put your balls on someone's pizza?" Symonds responded by saying, "Yes," before apparently telling the customer, "Man, I am really sorry, that was stupid."
Hero Cow Dies in Hail of Bullets After Fleeing Slaughter, Goring Jogger
Taylor Berman · 09/03/14 07:38AMMonths after an escaped steer was shot and killed in the streets of Baltimore, another freedom-seeking bovine died a hero's death in Germany. The cow, later nicknamed Bavaria, fled a Munich slaughterhouse Tuesday and went on a wild rampage through the city, leading police on a high-speed chase towards Oktoberfest and goring a jogger before finally being put down.
Teen Lives Inside a Texas Walmart Unnoticed for Days
Aleksander Chan · 08/13/14 01:31PMA teenager with an apparent affinity for Great Value products and fluorescent lighting built "secret compounds" inside a Walmart store in Coriscana, Texas, living there for two-and-a-half days. The 14-year-old was so determined to not be discovered and stay in the store, he reportedly wore diapers. A trail of trash eventually led to the teen being discovered by store employees.
Passed Out Hero of West Michigan's Biggest Party Gives First Interview
Taylor Berman · 08/08/14 04:20PMLast weekend, 20-year-old James Taylor became a minor internet celebrity after his local news interview about hosting "West Michigan's biggest rave" went viral. But the true star of the Fox 17 segment was the passed out kid the cameraman panned to as Taylor described the party. That kid, later identified as 27-year-old Ray Hulin, spoke to Vocativ about his new-found fame earlier this week. "They made it look like I don't know how to handle my shit," Hulin said. "I've been way more fucked up before and was able to keep my composure."