Members of the Russian punk band Pussy Riot were sentenced to two years in prison for "hooliganism" for staging an anti-Putin protest. The sentence was clearly an outrage, and drew worldwide protests. The most meaningful reaction of all: that of Vice magazine staffers in Brooklyn. They got some tattoos—Russian tattoos. READ IT AND WEEP, PUTIN.

The power of Christ compels you. [Daily Mail]

Yesterday afternoon, at the Van Siclen Avenue train stop in Brooklyn, a mother, momentarily distracted, turned away from her baby's stroller; just then, a "sudden gust of wind" blew the stroller and its nine month-old passenger onto the train tracks below. A train was coming! Someone... anyone... please!

On Sunday, MSNBC host Chris Hayes said the following, in a discussion about war, soldiers, and death: "It is, I think, very difficult to talk about the war dead, the fallen, without invoking valor, without invoking the word 'heroes'... I feel uncomfortable about the word 'hero' because it seems to me it is so rhetorically proximate to justification for more war... it seems to me that we marshal this word in a way that is problematic."

A four-year-old in New York is being called a hero for dialing 911 when her brother was choking on a piece of chicken. The police sergeant who took the call was especially impressed by how "cool and collected" little Grace Varley was.

Meet Eric Kelly: former boxing champion, current extremely embittered trainer of white collar boxers who suck. If they don't know they suck, Eric Kelly makes sure to tell them, and tell them, and tell them. "Yeah they're making money, working on Wall Street," says Eric of his students, "But in their mouth is where all the balls meet." Eric Kelly is genuinely hilarious, assuming you are not one of his students.

On this historic day of heart-warming (if meaningless) declarations of support for gay marriage, let's just point out one more influential figure who's declared support, maybe: Method Man.

This stunning image of a woman in Yemen comforting an injured relative during demonstrations against Yemen's president won the World Press Photo Of The Year. Samuel Aranda, a 32-year-old Spaniard, took the shot on October 15 in a makeshift field hospital set up in a mosque.

Meet Rita Lawlor. She is seven years old, and recently received an award from the Sarasota County Fire Department for saving her mother's life. Upon finding her mother unconscious in their home, little Rita "called 911, but first I slapped her with a piece of pizza." [Buzzfeed, MySunCoast]

Last year, the UN predicted that without proper restructuring of the fish industry, the oceans could be depleted of all fish by 2050. Overfishing, environmental disasters...what's a conservationist to do?

How long will we allow "the system" to persecute innocent marsupials and their impassioned human defenders? We are slyly referring, of course, to the case of Irwin Kangaroo, the well-dressed formerly paralyzed kangaroo and registered therapy pet owned by Oklahoma kangaroo owner Christie Carr.

We loathe a lot of people here at Gawker, mostly because we recognize that humanity is irreversibly doomed and the future holds nothing but Kim Kardashian dancing in six-inch stilettos on the graves of the poor. (Silver lining: Well-aerated grave grass.)

I am actually a little bit excited for this show Wall Street Wives, if it ever takes off. Apparently the cast now includes Diane Passage, the former Scores dancer, pole dancing champion, and insanely awesome crazy lady, who is currently divorcing Kenneth Starr. No, not the Clinton lawyer, the money manager who is in jail for stealing money from his famous clients.

We truly are living in a new era of sexual equality. Guanabee points us to this VLADTV interview with Fat Joe, who at least began his career as a no-joke hardcore New York gangster rapper. In response to a question about whether he think he's ever done a song with a gay rapper, he responds "Yes," and shrugs off the whole thing: "Niggas is gay. There's millions of gay people in the world. Girls too... I'm a fan of 'Yo, I'm gay. The fuck.' Like, 2011 you gotta hide that you're gay? Like, you know what I'm saying, like, be real, like 'Yo I'm gay, what the fuck.' If you gay you gay. Like that's your preference, you know? Fuck it if the people don't like it."

In case you missed this story from last Friday, it will start your week off on an inspirational note: the security camera video above shows Luis Rosales robbing a Los Angeles hotel—and then running into Brent Alvarez and Billy Denney, two MMA fighters who just arrived in town for a fight tournament. A group hug of crime-fighting ensued! The LAT reports:

Every so often, New York City gets a new Subway Hero. Usually, it's some dude who, at great peril to himself, jumps onto the tracks to rescue someone who's fallen down there. But that's been done. Let's give it up for the latest subway hero: the Groper Smacker!

Remember Steven Slater, the folk hero of summer 2010 who ditched his JetBlue flight after cussing out a passenger and sliding down the inflatable slide?

The mystery of Phoenix Jones — the citizen superhero who stalks the streets of Seattle seeking out injustice and, for the most part, gets his ass kicked — has at last been solved. The Smoking Gun has the arrest report of one Benjamin Fodor, a 23-year-old mixed martial arts fighter who was detained by police on Sunday for assaulting four people outside a nightclub with pepper-spray.

John Huffman is just a regular old organic chemist. He is nearly 80 years old. And just because he invented all of the fake weed that kids these days are smoking doesn't mean he wants to hear your jokes, okay?

Jay Shells is the New York guerrilla artist famous for his unofficial subway etiquette posters. For his latest project, he's put up urban etiquette signs across the city. Got himself an interview on Fox News today! You'll want to watch all the way through to the end of this clip, when he tells the Foxbot about his aborted plans for a "Fox News Lies" sign. She is miffed! Jay, how could you??