Unilever, the enormous global consumer products conglomerate that makes everything from shampoo to mayonnaise, wants to do its part to save the world. How can you help? By buying lots and lots of Unilever products.

The commuter who snapped this photo yesterday told Gothamist that this guy was "enjoying a half wheel of what must have been a severely aged Brie with crackers" on the N train at rush hour. Each generation gets the hero it deserves. [via]

"Getting through this injury has been the toughest experience of my life...It's a huge deal, it should have taken eight months [to recover] and even my doctors can't believe it." - Mariah Carey, medical miracle

The hormonal instinct of two strapping young lads from Texas to scope out the woman in the backseat of the car next to them reportedly saved that woman from an unknown fate at the hands of a kidnapper.

The Wing Zone in Norfolk, Virginia, has apparently fallen victim to a number of armed robberies over the last year, being situated in a bad part of town and all.

When desire is gone. When self has expired. When ego is stripped away. Then, there is only: The Groove.

A Kentucky man was arrested after having an all-night solo party inside a closed supermarket, where he heroically went through 57 cans of whipped cream. He was found inside the ceiling on Monday, and surveillance video revealed his feast of steak, shrimp and beer before the nitrous oxide called.

On April 9, a delivery driver for Papa John's in Atlanta was stepping out of his car when two gunmen approached him. They demanded his car and took off, leaving the driver alone with his pizza. But instead of fleeing the scene or immediately calling the police, the driver did the honorable thing – he walked the pizza to the house that ordered it, accepted his payment, and then ran to get help.

There were hundreds of heroes in the aftermath of Monday's tragic bombing attacks in Boston. Doctors, police officers and even former NFL players responded with tremendous courage and saved lives. Carlos Arredondo — easily recognizable in photos and videos because of his cowboy hat — was one of those heroes and is prominently featured in two of the more memorable and traumatic images from Monday's attack.

Ten years ago today, TV carried one of the most iconic, if stage-managed and misremembered, images of the invasion of Iraq: Moments before toppling the statue of Iraqi dictator Saddam Hussein in Baghdad's Firdos Square, several Marines used a United States flag to cover Saddam's face before prudently swapping it for an Iraqi standard.

Beachgoers rushed to save a young boy from drowning off the coast of Napier, New Zealand, yesterday, forming a human chain that helped pull the struggling lad back to shore.

To NYC's illustrious list of subway heroes, we can now add a Three-Man Cooperative Subway Hero Team. Cheers, gents.

I'm ashamed to say that I was completely unfamiliar with the exploits of Jose Mujica, the onetime guerilla fighter who has been president of Uruguay since 2010. (So this is not "news" per se, but education is power.) Having been brought up to date by an excellent Simon Romero story on Mr. Mujica this weekend, we are prepared to declare him The President of Our Dreams Who Is the President You Would Design in Your Imagination But Never Expect to Exist in the Real World. Consider:

Esquire and ESPN Magazine writer Chris Jones—winner of both a National Magazine Award (though not as many as he believes he deserves) and a Gawker Least Important Writers award—has long been known as that guy. That guy who, despite having one of the more enviable writing jobs in journalism, would wail about not winning an award. That guy who would launch soul-pained howls against the merest online insult. That guy whose Twitter bio said "I'm also a big fan of The Three B's: bacon, books, and bourbon"—until now.

A hero can be anyone. It can be a fireman who runs back into a burning home to save a beloved childhood pet (toad). It can be a teacher who stays after school to help a student struggling with math. It can be a long Italian-style sandwich filled with a variety of meats, cheeses, and seasonings.

The first two victims in the Sandy Hook massacre have been identified: Principal Dawn Hochsprung and school psychologist Mary Sherlach. The Wall Street Journal spoke to Diane Day, a school therapist at Sandy Hook, who was in a room with Hochsprung and Sherlach when the shooting first occurred, and she provided some new details as to what happened when the shots broke out:

One thing you should not do, even though it looks like one of the Top Three Funnest Experiences a Human Being Can Have, is ride your jet ski through the flooded streets of your beachfront community during Hurricane Sandy, like this guy. YouTube user Right Coast Surf posted this video of himself tooling around a flooded Manasquan, New Jersey today. (Which, as Gothamist points out, is under mandatory evacuation.)

Dear Honorable leader Kim Jong Un inspires glory among all of his well-fed and athletic socialist subjects simply by triumphantly touring his happy nation, joyously soaking in the pleasant aroma of the world's best flowers, and never, ever eating those flowers, because of the aforementioned well-fed status of the North Korean people. The overstuffed smiling citizens of the DPRK demand that a machine lathe be awarded all outstanding heroic accolades and awards!

When news broke that Osama bin Laden had been killed by a team of Navy SEALS, the first thought of everyone in the media business, and of many curious Americans was: when can we get one of these heroes to tell his story? Well, now we have. And a lot of people want the government to crush him for it.

Prepare yourself for a yarn from the high seas that's so exciting and dangerous it makes Jaws look like fucking Babe. This maritime drama stars none other than Simon Cowell, a British man known mostly for being mean to amateur singers on musical game shows. The setting: Cowell's yacht off the coast of St. Tropez. Are you ready for this epic story of unparalleled "heroism," which comes direct to you from The Hollywood Reporter? You better be, because there's no going back now.