♦ Hilary Swank is reportedly in contract to buy a two-bedroom condo at the Superior Ink building in the West Village for $3.5 million. [WSJ]
♦ Kenneth Siskind, a managing director at Allen & Co., paid $3.15 million for a 12th-floor, three-bedroom apartment at 322 Central Park West. [Cityfile]
♦ Christopher Sinclair, the CEO of Cambridge Solutions in Greenwich, has picked up a four-bedroom vacation home in Palm Beach for $9.68 million. [Palm Beach Daily via TRD]
♦ Real estate investor Adam Gordon has listed his recently-renovated six-floor mansion at 54 Bond Street (which includes retail space on the first floor) for $36 million, just one year after buying the property for $15 million. [Curbed, Corcoran]

♦ You'd think that for $85,000-a-month, you might shell out a few extra few bucks on a maid. Apparently not. According to the Star, there's no one cleaning up after Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie's kids, and their French chateau is a complete pigsty that "looks like a war zone." [Star]
♦ Jennifer Lopez raised $127,000 for charity by competing in the Malibu triathalon. She then flew directly to New York and spent $800,000 on Marc Anthony's birthday party. [MSNBC]
♦ According to the always reliable Joe Francis, Lindsay Lohan is straight. [E!]
♦ Lindsay: Please don't discuss how you're supporting Barack in November. You're embarrassing him. [NYDN]

» Zac Posen showed the kind of pretty dresses that made him famous. What has also made him famous, of course, is his dazzling knack for networking, which was in full effect with a starry audience of Claire Danes and Hugh Dancy, Marisa Tomei, Leighton Meester, Venus and Serena Williams, Anna Wintour, André Leon Talley, Bernadette Peters, Diddy, Julian Schnabel, Bette Midler, Juliette Lewis, Kate Mara, Jada Pinkett Smith, Veronica Webb, Joy Bryant, Rachel Zoe, Ingrid Sischy, and Fern Mallis. [WSJ, Wireimage]

1) Of the many fashion parties over the weekend, none was bigger than Calvin Klein's 40th anniversary bash on the High Line last night. Among the fresh-from-Bryant Park faces present: Francisco Costa, Kimora Lee Simmons and Djimon Hounsou, Brooke Shields, Lindsay Price, Kim Raver, Eva Mendes, Halle Berry, Naomi Watts, Ellen Pompeo, Molly Sims, Alan Cumming, Aerin Lauder Zinterhofer, Anna Wintour, Bee Shaffer, Bryan Adams, Bijou Phillips, Claire Danes and Hugh Dancy, Fabien Baron, Ashley Olsen, Cynthia Nixon, Carlos Souza, Linda Fargo, Casey Spooner, Erin Fetherston, Ellen von Unwerth, Estelle, Rachel Zoe, Fern Mallis, Glenda Bailey, Jared Leto, Coco Rocha, Esther Canadas, Joy Bryant, John Leguizamo, Jay Manuel, Julia Restoin Roitfeld, Jessica Szohr, Kevin Bacon, Kelly Killoren Bensimon, Leighton Meester, Lydia Hearst, Martha Stewart, Ethan Hawke, Olivia Chantecaille, Padma Lakshmi, Rosario Dawson and Stephanie Seymour. [NYDN, NYO, PMc, GoaG]

Keith McNally, the restaurateur behind Balthazar, Pastis, Morandi, and Schiller's, turns 57 today. Oscar-winning actress Hilary Swank celebrates her 34th. Famed director (and Sopranos bit player) Peter Bogdanovich turns 69. Park Avenue boob-job pro Dr. David Hidalgo turns 56. Comedian Tom Green is 37. Ad exec Chuck Brymer is 49. Vivica A. Fox turns 44. And Jaime Pressly of My Name is Earl is 31.

Last November, the currently off-the-radar Hilary Swank appeared on Oprah and proved just how much holier she is than drug-addled Swank’d victim Chad Lowe by cutting off nine inches of her hair for cancer research. Claiming she’d “been growing her locks long so she could donate them to a cancer sufferer, ‘knowing that it would go to a woman in need,’” Swank’s return to the short hair style that won her an Oscar was clearly a charitable and warm-hearted gesture. But after seeing these photos of Swank taken over the weekend, in which the Oprah-styled chin-grazing look has been replaced by a very Brandon Teena-like cropped cut, we realized the sacrificial gesture will also benefit another worthy cause: the Hilary Swank Oscar-Baiting Campaign! How Swank is saving both cancer victims and her career, plus a closer look at her return to he-she hair, after the jump.

For every swan dress there is a fire engine red body-hugger worn by the likes of Catherine Zeta-Jones, or one of those golden sparkle-y things that just melts all over Halle Berry's body. To prove we're not just big meanies when it comes to discussing Oscar outfits of yesterday, we've put together our Top Ten picks for the most exclamatory, drop-dead dresses ever worn on an Oscar red carpet, and even redeemed one member of the Worst Club by placing her at the shiny top of our Best-Dressed cake.

· Possibly sandwiched between the theoretically imminent end of the writers strike and a potential June 30 walkout by SAG, studios are rushing to get their high-profile projects into production during that slim window of opportunity, hoping to get enough movies in the can to fill out their late 2009 release schedules. Still on the studios' limbo lists due to deadline-rushed scripts: Angels & Demons, Thomas Crown Affair 2, Fame, The Grind and Death Wish. [Variety]
· After 17 wildly successful years helping to narcotize the youth of America with TRL, The Grind and 72-hour Real World/Road Rules Challenge marathons, MTV president Christina Norman unexpectedly steps down from her post, possibly to join forces with Oprah on the new OWN cable network that will eventually make everyone involved incredibly wealthy. [THR]

PrivacyWatch celebrity sightings are submitted by our readers, and are posted several times a week, so send them in often. Submit yours to tips[AT]defamer.com (please put "sighting" or "PrivacyWatch" in the subject line so we don't lose them) and tell everyone about the time you spotted Adrian Grenier possibly consoling the dead bird out of some weepy blonde girl:

At long last, P.S. I Love You, a heart-string-tugging romantic fable about a gay Spartan warrior and a drag king boxer's inability to make love work, arrives in theaters today. As promising as that setup sounds, the reviews are mostly terrible, with the Hilary Swank/Gerard Butler vehicle inspiring movie critics to some of their most creatively bilious work in recent memory:

· Breakout Superbad actor Christopher "McLovin" Mintz-Plasse takes the next step in his inevitable march towards Hollywood superstardom, signing on alongside Jack Black and Michael Cera (re-team!) for biblical comedy Year One. Judd Apatow is producing, but you've probably already guessed that part on your own. [THR]
· Butching up a resume recently marked by turns as flouncey pirates and singing barbers, Johnny Depp is coming aboard hardboiled™ director Michael Mann's Public Enemies for Universal, in which Depp will play notoriously ruthless, extravagantly well-hung gangster John Dillinger. [Variety]

PrivacyWatch celebrity sightings are submitted by our readers, and are posted several times a week, so send them in often. Submit yours to tips[AT]defamer.com (please put "sighting" or "PrivacyWatch" in the subject line so we don't lose them) and tell everyone about the time you saw Andy Dick sober.

PrivacyWatch celebrity sightings are submitted by our readers, and are posted several times a week, so send them in often. Submit yours to tips[AT]defamer.com (please put "sighting" or "PrivacyWatch" in the subject line so we don't lose them) and tell everyone about the time you spotted The Office's Toby exactly the way he should always be seen—nearly naked and sopping wet.

PrivacyWatch celebrity sightings are submitted by our readers, and are posted several times a week, so send them in often. Submit yours to tips[AT]defamer.com (please put "sighting" or "PrivacyWatch" in the subject line) and tell everyone about the time you spotted Ryan Atwood quietly plotting his next career move at a Venice eatery.

· These are truly exciting times over at IndianaJones.com. Not only have they treated us to the first photos of Harrison Ford in a dusty fedora taken in nearly 20 years, they've now released exclusive footage of Steven Spielberg and George Lucas drinking champagne and staring at a monitor. (Also while wearing distinctive hats!) Who knows what special surprises the coming weeks will bring cyber-savvy Indy fans?
· Things that Barbara Walters considers "beneath her": interviewing Paris Hilton once she gets out of jail. Things that Barbara Walters is OK with: reading aloud on The View a transcription of a conversation she had with Paris Hilton about finding God while she was still in jail.
· Does no one have the heart to tell Renee Zellweger that boinking a CAA agent is so Hilary Swank in the summer of 2006? It's tragic, really.

PrivacyWatch celebrity sightings are submitted by our readers, and are posted several times a week, so them in often. Submit yours to tips[AT]defamer.com (please put "sighting" or "PrivacyWatch" in the subject line) and tell everyone about the time you spotted a grocery-shopping Larry Birkhead getting a head start on Dannielynn's food-dependency issues.

PrivacyWatch celebrity sightings are submitted by our readers, and are posted several times a week, and your tenth sighting gets a free selection from our pastry case! Submit yours to tips[AT]defamer.com (please put "sighting" or "PrivacyWatch" in the subject line) and give Macaulay Culkin's My Girl love interest Anna Chlumsky serious cause for concern.

· When the end is nigh, there will be sneezing pandas. And, of course, terrible Hilary Swank movies.
· The latest Chinese version of the Idol franchise will be called Boys Happy Voice (or Happy Boys Voice—the piece seems confused on the matter), strive to "maintain a happy atmosphere" and feature judges "prohibited "from mocking or humiliating contestants." In short, it is going to suck. We hope someone sends a Chinese Sanjaya to destroy it from within.
·We'd hate to give Kate Beckinsale a complex, but yeah, she'd look better with Queen Latifah-sized "gigantic real breasts."
·Despair, Hills fans: This LC person says there is no tape of her getting in on with that other guy, contrary to other reports.
· "All we're asking them to do is to treat smoking in the movies the same way they treat fuck."

We suppose that fairness would dictate that we at least read the damning review condensed into such efficient, ticket-buying deterrence by CNN.com's tireless Story Highlights editors before making a knee-jerk judgment to skip a movie, but in this case, we think Hilary Swank would be better served if we just quit after that last bullet point and Netflixed up some Freedom Writers instead.