BREAKING!!!! Bill Clinton has "severed business ties" with his longtime friend, secret Radar owner, supermarket mogul and alleged creep Ron Burkle. Apparently taking money from a dude who has been sued for various shady reasons by his entire family (among others) and who probably spends all his free time flying around on his private jet getting danced-at by models isn't the greatest move if your wife is running for president. This must be hard for Bill, considering the strength of their friendship. By the way, this is all according to "sources who know both men": There are also some denials! But it looks like there'll be an open seat on Air Burkle, hugely influential horndogs of America! [HuffPo]

The last week or so has seen New York Senator Hillary Clinton slip from "inevitable" to "favored" in her race for the Democratic presidential nomination. So, naturally, her terrifying campaign staff is becoming even more vicious and entertaining. Expect the Drudge-baiting trash talk by subordinates to increase at a rate more or less proportionate with the happy talk Iowa appearances and media availabilities from her husband, "Slick Willie." On Monday, Bill reminded everyone of how awesome the '90s were, and promised that a second Clinton presidency would mean the return of prosperity and Sugar Ray. Meanwhile, New Hampshire Clinton campaign co-chair Billy Shaheen called Obama a coke-head. But in a "I didn't actually call him a coke-head" way!

Phil Singer, a spokesman for Hillary Clinton's presidential campaign, says neither she nor Bill will be at Larry Page and Lucy Southworth's wedding being held today on Necker Island in the British Virgin Islands. That's a shame. Richard Branson's Caribbean getaway is a lot warmer than Iowa, HIllary. And there are worse places to hit people up for campaign donations. Maybe she's just trying to avoid a photo op with the Bushes?

We've heard rumors that there will be three presidents attending the Caribbean wedding of Google cofounder Larry Page and his bride-to-be, Lucy Southworth. The Times Online is reporting that Bill and Hillary Clinton are expected to attend, which leaves two presidents unaccounted for. The likeliest candidates: Dubya and his dad. Here's why.

Unbelievably, the above picture was Photoshopped by ABC News, not Michelle Malkin.

A man claiming to have a bomb is holding hostages at Hillary Clinton's New Hampshire office. Hillary isn't there. MSNBC is providing the helicopter footage and reckless speculation (and a hostage negotiator!), while CNN is currently giving the same treatment to two freight trains that collided in Illinois. No details anywhere! Obama's office is right down the street! Drudge is still leading with the teddy bear named Muhammed. (Additional Drudge headline: "National correspondents increasingly frustrated by lack of access to Clinton..." It's the media's fault!)

<a href="Man Takes Hostages At Clinton Campaign Office [WMUR]

Oooh, it looks like Katie Couric has scored an interview with Hillary Clinton for the evening news! We just really really hope that this picture, up on the Drudge Report where the story is being reported, isn't a still from some home movie Couric's got her hands on. Do. Not. Want.

Happy Thanksgiving! Did you know that all the people running for president are big fatties? The Times today reveals that running for president apparently involves eating corn dogs and other unhealthy things. Mike Huckabee, whose primary qualification for running this nation is that he used to be a fattie and now he's skinny, "eats lightly,"and all the rest of the losers have to pretend to care about fitness. Just like you! The Iowa State Fair sounds awesome: Barry Hussein Obama ate "caramel corn, pork and a corn dog for the cameras." And Senator Clinton is v.v. close to Jesus: "At one campaign event, Senator Hillary Rodham Clinton said she prayed to God to help her lose weight." [NYT]

As you stretch out on your carpet, recovering from yesterday's stuffing and cursing yourself for bringing up the abortion issue at your family's Thanksgiving dinner (for the third year in a row!), you may be pondering some of life's bigger questions. Or, you may be Style.com's illiterate stylist Blair. In that case you'd be thinking, "Hilary [Clinton] is going to have to have a make over if she is going to be our president for 4 years". And if you were lucky enough to be Blair (noted author of The hotest glasses you we ever come across in the univers), you could then publish your horribly spelled and poorly thought out slideshow on Style.com for all the world to see. Not that Blair doesn't raise some pressing points! What will Hillary wear at her "Inagaration Ball," or while "shoping for furniture for the White House?"

The online news-voting site Digg has added a page tracking the Democratic and Republican candidates for president. Digg's a virtual unknown inside the Beltway, so the page's geek-skewed results aren't a true barometer of candidate popularity. They're more a gimmick by Digg founders Jay Adelson and Kevin Rose to guilt candidates into participating on their site. Predictably, the Internet's unlikely favorites lead: Barack Obama, Dennis Kucinich, and Mike Gravel on the Democratic side, Ron Paul and Mike Huckabee on the Republican side. You can view the candidates' favorite Digg stories — or rather, some anonymous campaign staffers' favorite stories. The lone holdout among candidates with a real shot at the nomination? Hillary Clinton. Her lack of participation shows she understands the true value of Web 2.0 in today's presidential election: none. An image of the current "Digg the President" leaders after the jump.

There were three separate pieces today on "watchdog" website Media Matters complaining about how badly Barack Obama has been manhandled by the press. The first piece takes aim at Good Morning America, the New York Sun and The Politico. The second impugns CNN anchor and debate moderator Suzanne Malveaux, and the third takes a long mean look at by U.S. News & World Report editor David Gergen. Hey, Media Matters, why the crush on Obama?

Alec Baldwin recently took the time to send a personal letter to Hillary Clinton and her fellow senators, imploring them to vote no on a proposed $10 billion farm subsidies bill before that could potentially turn already overweight children into a generation of cream-cheese-and-donut gobbling gluttons with an upper-range life expectancy of 14. From the NY Daily News:

Handicapping the field of Republican presidential nominee hopefuls, 24 showrunner/televised-torture innovator Joel Surnow says that Hollywood's half-empty-handful of conservatives are leaning Giuliani-ward, an expression of support that can't bode well for Law & Order star Fred Thompson's already-doomed candidacy. Also, he's not exactly bullish on Hillary Clinton's electability: "'I'm not even sure that Hillary is a fait accompli [to win the Democratic Party nomination] as this point,' Mr. Surnow told a group of reporters and bloggers in a wide-ranging interview during the Young America's Foundation's (YAF) West Coast Leadership Conference. 'Are we nuts thinking Hillary Clinton could be president of this country? Honest to God, just stand back and think about it.'" And for those without the imagination to "just stand back and think about it," the upcoming season of his show (if it ever airs) should play out in thrilling detail the apocalyptic worst-case scenario that could face the nation if it follows 24-America in putting a Hillaryesque president in the White House. [Washington Times]

Hillary Clinton still totally hates New York Times reporter Patrick Healy; he wrote a piece about her relationship that she's never gotten over. (2008 is gonna be a long year for him!) Incidentally, according to Pat's recent bio, he is "single." Race ya! [NYO]

The Saw Mill River Parkway was closed last night during rush hour&mdash why? Oh, because there was a sniper loose, picking off motorists! More shots have been fired this morning, apparently. This could make the trip home to Chappaqua a bit dicey for Hillary Clinton, not to mention all the Wall Street execs and law partners trying to get back to their Westchester "cottages."

Former First Lady and potential POTUS 44 Hillary Clinton backed out of a Vogue photoshoot last minute, reports aging Post doyenne Liz Smith, for fear of appearing "too glamorous" and "too elitist." The photographer was going to be Annie Leibovitz, whose last big project was a series of portraits of Queen Elizabeth II; the writer was slated to be Julia Reed, the "staunchly Southern" author of Queen of the Turtle Derby and Other Southern Phenomena. Guess it's understandable if La Clinton was leery of being described in Southern terms of endearment: "Hillary Clinton was not beautiful, but men seldom realized it...."

The Clinton/Drudge power-partnership remains strong! Watch out, Obama!
Earlier: Hatted Miami Weirdo Wields Great Media Power and Hill's Money Chinese, Drudge Play Joke.

Was The Daily News brown-nosing just a bit with its wall-to-wall coverage of Hillary Clinton's 60th birthday party today? Not only was last night's Beacon Theater bash on their front page Wednesday, but the paper sent five of its editorial staff to cover last night's fiesta, including a gossip reporter, regular Clinton beat reporter Mike McAuliff, political editors Ian Bishop and William Goldschlag and Heidi Evans, who penned yesterday's space-filling News sidebar on the brush with death Hillary had with deep vein thrombosis. Not only, you know, eww, but it was almost ten years ago! Who cares! Then of course, there was Ben Widdicombe's actual live blogging of the event. Their headlines—"Hil of a milestone" and "Hillary Clinton 60th birthday bash rocks all the way"—are beyond drooly. Is this the only way to compete with Rupert Murdoch for her love?

Even though he's never quite been able to match the profound national mindfuck he laid down when he went live with Monica Lewinsky a couple minutes before everyone else, Matt Drudge's bizarre story sense and predilections still drive the larger political media narrative. Except for his weird weather obsession. But when he puts a semi-comprehensible political headline in 72-pt. font, people take note. The fact that he's a weirdo Crypto-Liberti-Publican has always been something of a problem for the liberals who used to control the media, but now, finally, they have a candidate craven enough to play Matt's game: Hillary Clinton!

Uhh... "chop suey club?" What does that even mean? We know Hillary is a pawn of the Red Chinese Menace (or, in this case, the Chinatown Mob) but seriously, is this Drudge headline supposed to be like an oblique Amy Tan joke or something? Was "A Coolie $400 Grand" a little too extreme? Also: Drudge bonus points for "NOONAN: Hillary 'is the smile on the Halloween pumpkin that knows harvest is coming'... because an utterly insane, randomly-selected quote from any given Peggy Noonan column is basically the best idea for a regular post we've never thought of.