This morning, most people concluded that "Baby Yoga with Lena Fokina"—the latest addition to the strangely popular Russian swinging baby video genre—was fake. So what do we make of this video, featuring Lena and others swinging more babies?

The following video shows a Russian lady subjecting a squirming baby to "dynamic exercises" that involve swinging it by its arms and ankles, upside down and over her head. Oddly, there is precedent: Russian swinging baby videos are a meme.

The small Nevada towns near the 'Burning Man' festival site are effectively jobless and broke after USG Corp., which owns a gypsum mine and produces wallboard, announced the closure of its local operations. What will happen to the drug festival?

L.A. County has banned plastic grocery bags. That's six billion bags a year, unrealized.

Sweat lodges! Tuna poisoning! Viagra dystrophy! Doctor impatience! Strength in adversity! Missing marathons! Alcohol benefits! Obesity costs! It's your Tuesday Health Watch, where we watch your health—icthyologically!

Do you like Phish, or are you one of the many people who can't understand the allure of jam-heavy musical improvisation? If you're the former, watch this video to understand those who "just don't get it, man." Phish-haters, feel validated.

Glenn Beck's going to be taking some time off next week to get some hospital tests done for "problems with feeling in his hands and feet." But he said the real problem could be "spiritual wounds." Wacky explanation video below!

Bans on plastic bags: now spreading to non-hippie environs. Beware.

The commie food police in San Francisco have officially crossed the line: A proposed city ordinance would ban toys from McDonald's Happy Meals until the chain adds fruit and vegetables to their kids' menu, and lowers calorie counts. Hippie extortionists.

Pennsylvania Gov. Ed Rendell has spent the past day apologizing for his state's homeland security department, which had been distributing "anti-terrorism" bulletins listing upcoming environmentalist and LGBT protests — at a cost of $125,000 to taxpayers, naturally.

Supastar British street artist Banksy is still nominally anonymous, despite a handful of (probable) photos of him floating around. And then there's this video of Banksy (we think) disguised as a hippie, heckling Prince Charles about weed.

Things already banned in San Francisco: plastic bags, tasering children. We can support that. Also proposed: pets. Well, I don't know...And also, now: Happy Meal toys, which encourage unhealthy eating habits. What if the toys are fun though?

Nothing's more fun for the White House than a public whipping of whiny-baby liberal hippie bitches. Today, it's press secretary Robert Gibbs' turn! In an interview with The Hill, he complains about the "professional left," who whine about everything.

Is there any potent symbol of American waste and excess that hippies will not ban? First, it was plastic bags, out in San Fran-cisco. Now, hippies on the opposite coast are taking on the treasured American plastic bottle.

When you're in Whole Foods tomorrow to pick up your organic free-range sustainable humanely slaughtered coconut chicken skewers, you might see some people staring forlornly at an empty shelf. Why? The kombucha's gone! Oh, overpriced fermented tea. Where'd you go?

The California Assembly has voted to ban plastic bags from stores, and to charge a nickel for paper bags. That's 19 billion plastic bags a year, outlawed. The real victims: cheap bastards, like you. Buy a Ziploc, you cheap bastard.

Eliot Hess is a former hippie and current PR firm owner. Terry Borg and Thomas Pienkos are both executives in the Trump Organization. They all live in the same co-op. And their childish, idiotic email war is now big news!

Five years ago, would-be media revolutionary Robert Plotkin vowed to turn the Point Reyes Light, a tiny California paper, into the "New Yorker magazine of the West." He's finally given up, declaring: fine, take your stupid paper back, hippie losers.

Now California hippies want to ban paper bags, too. What is next, banning genetically-engineered Funyuns?

Dad blues! Lying scum! Super olds! Hammerheads! Psychobabble! Birdbrains! It's your long-awaited Science Watch, where we watch science—with eyes jutting out both sides of our toothy voracious skull!