Beezow Doo-doo Zopittybop-bop-bop has been arrested again on drug charges, only a year after his last run-in with the law.

Last week, a California judge ruled that a school district could teach yoga, despite objections from parents that it amounted to promoting an "Eastern religion." Now, one provocative columnist raises an even more alarming yoga issue: godless Western atheists are sullying yoga's holiness, by doing it (yoga).

Christina Das, a 19-year-old resident of Rochester, N.Y., suffered broken ankles and broken wrist when she fell from a light pole at a Phish concert on Sunday. Shockingly, she was "under the influence of something," such as, possibly, good vibes. Also, she was naked.

NPR's The Salt blog warns that the hippie dippy organic yogurt you make today could outlive you.

Wacky hippies in the wacky hippie enclave of Denver are encouraging their fellow moonbeam-gazing residents of Marijuanaville to do something a little strange: walk places. On their feet. What's more: even you, The Average American, can get involved in this quirky newfangled hobby. But how?

The New York Post, the pandering tabloid of the fascist power structure, has spared no effort chronicling the most important story of the Occupy Wall Street movement: the presence of some hippie lady of which the New York Post does not approve. Today: the hippie lady villain rides again!

Jerry Brown struck a mighty blow to the Occupy Foreskin movement on Sunday, as the California governor signed a bill preventing local governments from banning circumcision in males. Back in July, a judge had ruled a ballot proposal outlawing circumcision in San Francisco, backed by 7,700 supporters, to be unconstitutional. Now, thanks to bill AB768 — or what will eventually come to be known as "Jerry's Bill" — no male child in California will ever be denied his God-mandated right to circumcision again. Let the protests commence! Bay Area Urban Docking League, you have the floor. [AP]

As the first week of the #occupywallstreet protest against corporate stuff draws to a close, some classy capitalists have decided to dust off their favorite Nixon-era jargon and hold a champagne-soaked counter-protest of their own. Free laxative-enriched muffins for all "hippies," LOL.

Oh, California. Why so uptight about everything? Whether it's a city or the entire state, someone's always trying to ban something. Now, the state's latest target is Styrofoam. From the AP:

And it's official: as expected, a judge in California has ruled that a ballot proposal to ban circumcision in San Francisco "violates the U.S. Constitution's guarantee of religious freedom," as well as California law. It's off the ballot.

The peen protecting crusaders who brought you the anti-Semitic Aryan comic book hero "Foreskin Man" are on the verge of losing their hard-fought campaign to get an anti-circumcision bill on the city's November ballot, after San Francisco Superior Court Judge Loretta Giorgi yesterday said the proposal was "expressly preempted" by state law. From the San Francisco Chronicle's Heather Knight:

In sleepy Raleigh, North Carolina sits Peace College—not a hippie school, as you would suspect, but a women's college, which is basically the same thing. But not for long! Peace has announced plans to let dudes attends. But, as a compromise, they will remain segregated in classes. Way to satisfy no one at all!

Russell Simmons initially got famous by starting up Def Jam, a hip hop label that was, believe it or not, dynamic and countercultural. And cool! That was a long, long time ago. What is Russell up to today? Oh, just defending Fox News chief Roger Ailes (again):

A man died of hypothermia Sunday at Bonnaroo, the annual hippie-flavored music festival in Tennessee. It was the second death of the fest. On Thursday, the opening day of the event, a young woman was found dead in her tent.

59-year-old Alan Kimble Fahey is facing a legal shitstorm over a crazy compound/house/thing he's been working on for many years in the Mojave Desert that he calls Phonehenge West. The Man says Fahey needs to follow building codes, and Fahey's all like "no way, Man," and now he might have to tear the place down. A judge yesterday found Fahey guilty of violating building codes, and his lawyer told the Los Angeles Times that Fahey "faces pretty hefty fines and fees."

Never let it be said that the persistence of a few crazy fanatics can't change the world: a proposal to ban male circumcision (for minors, only!) has officially been placed on the ballot in San Francisco. They did it, the crazy, crazy, crazy bastards! I guess when you take a step back and see the forest for the trees from 30,000 feet, the real lesson in all this is, "If you want to be assured of the right to have a doctor cut the foreskin off your baby's penis and you live in San Francisco, push that baby out before November or else go to a different city to have the baby, or else go to some back-alley circumcisionist."

Often, kids these days are pessimistic; they don't think they have the power to change anything. But one plucky group of teens is standing up for themselves, by suing the U.S. government for not protecting the earth. Whoa, citizens!

Of course it's San Francisco — the same city that banned Happy Meals, plastic bags, tasering kids, sitting on the sidewalk and fun in general — that might vote on banning male circumcision in November. A collection of "intactivists" (ha, good one) proposing a ban submitted over 12,000 signatures to the city's Election Board yesterday, with 7,168 verified signatures required for the bill to go to a vote. They should know if the signatures are legit within a month.

Owsley "Bear" Stanley, one of the most prolific LSD producers of all time, was killed in a car accident in his adopted home of Australia today. The Bear was also a noted sound engineer, and at one time financed the Grateful Dead. He and his acid were also featured in Tom Wolfe's The Electric Kool-Aid Acid Test, and Bear hung out with the likes of Jimi Hendrix, Ken Kesey, and other noteworthy druggies from that time. He was thought to be around 76 years old.

Who the hell eats at Panera Bread Co.? That's a trick question because everyone knows the answer is "Hippie suckers with lots of money." They're so hippie and rich that they just pay without even being forced to. Suckers.