Mikey, a closeted 17-year-old Minnesota hockey player, was the author of a popular blog about being gay in the sports world. He was an inspiration to many. Sadly, he's now been outed as a 40-year-old. The blog's been shut down.

Head Heat coach Jim Playfair went nuts during an AHL game on Sunday between the Abbotsford Heat and the Hamilton Bulldogs. Watch as Playfair becomes unhinged because of some frustrating referee decisions.

Today was ABC White House correspondent Jake Tapper's birthday! He got a Dora the Explorer cake. And then he made mean jokes about Robert Gibbs, who was just trying to have some fun.

Here is a scientific water use chart proving that everyone in Edmonton ran out to pee at the end of every period in the Olympic gold medal hockey game. Unironically beloved NY1 newsman Pat Kiernan is pushing this chart, HARD.

Canada's women's hockey team took the Olympic Gold yesterday, at which point its members commenced the traditional Canadian victory ritual of getting shit-drunk on a massive slab of ice while wearing jerseys. For some reason, people got upset.

Tonight marked the end of Stephen Colbert's epic coverage of the Vancouver Olympics, and he went out with a Canada-bashing bang. What do you do when the host country disappoints? You mock the HELL out of it, naturally. Video inside.

Let the countdown to Olympic sportscaster Mike Milbury's inevitable suspension begin! After tonight's quarterfinal hockey game between Canada and Russia, Milbury had some choice words for the Russian athletes, saying that they "came with their Eurotrash game." Video inside.

We just finished the last quarter (or whatever it's called) of the USA/Canada hockey game. We won! But all anyone could talk about was how pissed they were that the game was shown on MSNBC and not NBC. So what?

How many discredited former Bush White House officials can one newspaper publish? Fred Hiatt is collecting them like Pokemon. Marc Thiessen, Bush speechwriter and torture enthusiast, will be writing a weekly column for The World's Worst Opinion Section.

Russians are known for many things and huge hockey brawls are one of them. Perhaps it's ingrained in them at such an early age? Watch as these two kids hockey teams have an all out war on the ice.

The man who lent Levi his hockey gear for the big day is selling off the pads, pants, gloves and — so you can make jokes — the stick and helmet on eBay.

After Ontario Hockey League's London Knights scored their first goal last night, their fans threw teddy bears onto the ice to go to needy children during the holidays. Can Canada go ONE DAY without making America look like heartless jerks?!

We won't begrudge this Swedish hockey player a chance to celebrate his goal, but maybe he should tone down the enthusiasm before he gets hurt. Oh, too late.

If hockey is really ever to catch on in the U.S. like it has in other parts of the world perhaps they should consider replacing human players with bears. Watch to the end to witness an actual bear brawl.

Aww, how nice. Mighty Ducks captain Scott Niedermayer gave that young, starry eyed girl his hockey stick! What the little girl didn't know is that certain angry adults would also like to be in possession of that stick. Fightfightfight!

Step away from the fashion closet: Sean Avery is returning to New York and rejoining the Rangers. Sadly, another stint at Men's Vogue this summer is not in the cards, since the magazine was dismantled while Avery was off in Dallas. But maybe he'll use this as an opportunity to join Vogue proper and branch out to womenswear. [AP]

Listen, kids: Your dream of growing up to be a famous hockey goon and Vogue intern can all be scuttled by obliquely referring to Elisha Cuthbert as a cum dumpster. Sean Avery has fallen!

It took less than 24 hours for Sean Avery to apologize for saying yesterday that his National Hockey League opponents "fall in love with my sloppy seconds." In fact, he's already flown to New York to grovel before the league commissioner. Although Avery is famous for picking these kinds of fights, it appears the recent Vogue intern's media instincts pushed him way over the line:

Sean Avery has long relished his role as the National Hockey League's miscreant-in-chief, but the Dallas Stars forward's internship at Vogue seems to have sharpened his instincts for provocation to razor precision. Avery was just suspended indefinitely by the NHL for talking smack about two ex-girlfriends, actress Elisha Cuthbert and model Rachel Hunter, who ended up in the arms of other players. His own team said it would have suspended him had the league not done likewise. The truly insane part of the whole incident is that Avery sought out TV cameras so he could broadcast his self-destructive diss. (UPDATE: Video after the jump.)

Click to viewBoomp3.com Never one to miss an opportunity to make a statement, Academy Award winner Tim Robbins decided to take on the ruthless Hockey Mom confab by wearing a deliciously inspired t-shirt. Robbins proudly displayed his Hockey Dads for Obama shirt right before taking in a street hockey game, and he also generously donated shirts for all of the parents on both teams to wear. Robbins said, “Palin does not speak for all of the hockey parents out there. I’m sure that there are a lot of Hockey Single Moms for Obama out there. I also believe that the ultimate hockey god, Don Cherry, is for Obama, too.” [Photo Credit: Splash Pics] *A Call To The Bullpen is a work of fiction. Although the pictures we use are most certainly real, Defamer does not purport that any of the incidents or quotations you see in this piece actually happened. Lighten up, people ... it's a joke.