The Catholic Archdiocese of Newark, which two years ago closed a school for lack of funds, is paying to build an enormous new wing on its archbishop's vacation home, with "an indoor exercise pool, three fireplaces and an elevator." Jesus wept.

It's been a few days since a Catholic priest said something truly awful, so Brazilian archbishop Dadeus Grings decided it was time to tell a local newspaper all sorts of crazy shit. Hint: Gay teens really upset him.