UPDATE: Tevfik Arif's lawyer has informed us that:

There are a lot of things one expects to see on the community bulletin board inside the Park Slope Food Coop: Ads for babysitters, ads for book groups, announcements of boycotts, announcements of counter-boycotts. Not usually on the list, however, is a handmade sign shouting "I hired a hooker and she stole my dog!!!! Waahhhh!!!"

Soccer star David "I Did Not Hire a $10,000-a-Night-Hooker" Beckham is suing In Touch over a story they ran about him hiring a $10,000-a-night-hooker. Also named in the suit: 26-year-old Irma Nici, the $10,000-a-night-hooker in question.

After silently turning off its Adult Services section earlier this month, Craigslist has made it official: Its listings for escorts, masseuses and barely disguised prostitutes of all sorts have been terminated.

Prior to the World Cup, officials in South Africa were bracing for an influx of up to 40,000 prostitutes to handle horny soccer fans. But the need never materialized, with visitors largely choosing "cultural" activities, like art museums, instead.

New CNN host and former New York governor Eliot "Socks On" Spitzer thinks his important new show will sweep his hooker-sexing past away, priming him for a run at mayor of NYC when Bloomberg's term ends in 2013. [P6, Getty]

Going to San Francisco for vacation this summer? Make sure you check out this handy elevation map first. You can consult your guidebook for restaurants and bars, but this map shows you where to find all of the hookers! [FlowingData]

Charlie Sheen was just like, "Screw it, I'm moving in with my hooker." Lindsay Lohan is no longer marketable. Britney Spears' nipples cause consternation. Jon Gosselin would like to sell you a car. Saturday's Gossip roundup is learning the ropes.

Robert Brot, a rich 57 year-old real estate developer, says 26 year-old Lindsey DeLeon abused his love for her, ripping him off for more than $100K. Why didn't he just hire her? Her escort ads are still up.

Just like angry former expat Matt Taibbi, the editor-in-chief of the Russian edition of Newsweek, Mikhail Fishman, likes to party the Moscow way. But it may all be a set up by the Kremlin. Or maybe not. Who knows?

Former New York Post dating columnist Mandy Stadtmiller flew out to Nevada to spend a couple hours with "Markus," America's first legal male prostitute, for journalism. What a job! Free travel, free massage, and a free gynecological exam.

The problem with condensed Twitter URLs: You can't see where they go. White House correspondent Major Garrett tweeted a URL last night, and it went to a Vegas call girl website. Vegas, where some White House folks go next month.

Shady Lady Ranch in Beatty, Nevada is now hiring what will be the state's first legal male prostitutes. The big controversy is whether they will do GAY things (optional), but the real triumph here is: jobs! [LAT]

Ashley Dupre was on The View today — and Barbara Walters loathes her. Watch as one of the most prominent TV interviewers of all time tries, and fails, to swallow down hate-inspired bile while attempting to interview Spitzer's trickster.

You are frustrating us a lot, Ashley Dupre. We tried and tried and tried (and tried!) to tell you that the New York Post is not your friend. But here you are, exchanging text messages with them. They print those!

Ashley Dupre and the New York Post have finalized their deal: Ashley will give the Post exclusive interviews and sexxxy exclusive photo shoots in hooker heels. In return, they'll play like they're on her side. Everybody wins, except Ashley Dupre!

Just when you thought the New York Post had covered every possible imaginary angle of Spitzer Hooker Scandal, Round Two, you find out that they ignored the provocative take of Kristin Davis, the "Manhattan Madam!" She has things to say!

The New York Post's plan to resurrect the Eliot Spitzer hooker scandal story is turning out fabulously. Day one was the "Spitzer comeback?" rumor. Day two was the Shocked Response. Now, day three: Ashley Dupre makes her return. Musically, too!

So goes the beginning of today's Rush & Molloy column. They have three sources claiming that she was, in fact, a hooker and a madam. Who are they, and what're they saying?

Craigslist replaced its much-maligned "erotic services" section with a more responsible "adult" section. So were prostitutes driven away by mandatory credit card payments and staff review of their ads? No, they just got more subtle. Hooker subtle!