Incoming New York City Mayor Bill de Blasio has already horrified everyone with his bizarre hatred of walkable pedestrian plazas, but his war on anything that's not a car is just beginning. According to the Daily News, de Blasio announced today that he will "get rid of the horse carriages. Period."

To reach the Federation of Black Cowboys headquarters at Cedar Lane Stables, you take the A train for about an hour out of Manhattan to the Grant Avenue station in Howard Beach, walk a mile past park-and-ride lots and construction sites and a truck selling Polish sausage, then look for the wooden rail fencing around a long and narrow stretch of trees and trailers alongside Linden Boulevard. For two decades, until the city closed the stables this year, these 26 acres of pasture, trees, and western-themed corrals provided a place for city kids to learn to ride a horse or see a rodeo.

Sad news out of East Lampeter Township in Pennsylvania: A horse pulling an Amish buggy was killed Monday night in a drive-by shooting.

A horse is a horse, of course, of course, and no horse can climb on the roof, of course, that is, of course, unless that horse is bored.

A federal judge ruled Friday that an Iowa company can't just start slaughtering horses like it's 2011 and "Luck" is back in production, because that dead horse joke hasn't been beaten enough, amirite?

Today marked an annual ceremony called Ladies Day, when Royalty and their hangers-on gather to ostensibly attend a horse race in the small town of Ascot in England. The exclusive Royal Enclosure also requires attendees to adhere to particular fashion requirements, which prompt the question: Dear England, what the fuck is on your head?

This horse meat scandal is sweeping Western Europe and quivering even the stiffest of upper lips in Britain. Some people are concerned that the horse meat in their microwaveable pasta dinners may be tainted with an equine anti-inflammatory called phenylbutazone, which in huge doses can cause health risks. But let's get real: Most people are just grossed out at the thought of eating horse meat instead of cow meat. That's stupid.

Nestlé, the largest food company on the planet, announced today that it's recalling some of the beef pasta meals it sells in Spain and Italy. The reason? The "beef" contains horse DNA. And Nestlé's not the only company. Nearly all of the U.K.'s biggest supermarkets and many of their suppliers have been forced to remove horse meat fraudulently labeled as beef from the shelves as more and more companies are implicated in the widening scandal. Where's the horse meat coming from? How is it getting into the beef? Has the United States' supply been compromised? We've got the answers.

Last spring, horses everywhere neighed a sigh of relief when production was cancelled on HBO's horse-racing drama Luck, after three gambling-addicted horses died on set.

An attention-whorse named Oreo went buckwild in Manhattan yesterday, tearing through traffic and injuring three people.

Before you go around criticizing Ann Romney for her eliteness, remember that you, too, could probably buy a horse, pay for its upkeep, and pursue a career in dressage.

HBO has canceled its racetrack drama "Luck," after news of the series' third on-set horse death in two seasons broke earlier this week.

HBO's racing drama "Luck" is proving more dangerous than a glue factory for horses.

A team of scientists in Ireland claim to have successfully traced the so-called "speed gene" in Thoroughbred horses back to a single ancestor: a mare bred in the UK in the 17th century.

Don't listen when they tell you Congress can't get anything done: It has finally lifted the five-year ban on slaughtering horses for human consumption in the U.S., creating literally dozens of jobs for people who want to slaughter horses and unshackling the horsemeat-for-human-consumption industry from the heel of government oppression that has kept it down for so long. Let freedom reign.

You know that woman from Oregon who got naked and crawled inside a dead horse to both "feel one" with the animal and also pose for puke-inducing highly artistic photographs? The Seattle Weekly tracked her down and discovered that her project—which prompted a police investigation—was inspired by none other than Han Solo, the dashing Star Wars character. Go figure.

A 21-year-old Oregon woman who crawled inside a horse carcass and had her picture taken—all so she could "feel one with a horse"—will not face any criminal charges, say investigators. Now she can use the photos to design her holiday cards.

Under the headline "Women flock to take horse-semen shots," we learn from The Dominion Post that "apple-infused" horse jizz, or Hoihoi tatea, is "like custard" and is a hot item at a New Zealand restaurant called Green Man Pub. The horse semen, for which the restaurant pays $300 (NZ) for 20 vials, is part of a meal of Asian duck and spring rolls that the restaurant is entering into Monteith's Beer & Wild Food Challenge.

Mayoral progeny, ex-boyfriend underminer, and professional equestrian Georgina Bloomberg has written a novel that draws "heavily from her own experiences" and will contain "tell-all references" about the daughter of a "blunt-talking Wall Street billionaire who lives in a Manhattan townhouse and 'owns half of New York.'"

That damn equine herpes outbreak has cut the number of visitors to the Memorial Day Classic weeklong horse show in LA down to about half of what they usually are. But why are people so scared? It can't spread to humans, anyway. From the LA Times: