A big, tentative congrats to North Korea, whose infamous Ryugyong Hotel (aka the "Hotel of Doom") is slated to open its doors in April 2012—only 24 years after its groundbreaking, and just in time for the 100th birthday celebration of O.G. Most Glorious Leader on High Kim Il-sung. Sadly, he won't be doing the ribbon-cutting because he died in 1994. But his ghost is expected to haunt and place bugs in some of the rooms.

A reader sent in this photo of MILF PLAZA, an affordable cougar den conveniently located in the heart of New York's theater district. Remember to use the discount code MINIVAN for an additional 15% off your nightly rate!

"Are tiny plastic toiletries on their way out?" asks AngelPulitzer-winning newspaper USA Today. I certainly hope that the answer is "no." Let's see... the answer is "yes." Drat.

There are gay bars, gay nightclubs, and even gay cruises, so why not gay hotels? Such was the thinking of Brian Gorman, who recently opened the Miami branch of the first (openly) gay hotel chain. Called Lords, the new outpost is a renovated 1930s deco house done up by the New York-based design studio BHDM in bright yellows and aquamarines, midcentury-modern-inspired furniture, and patches of glitz and glam.

In the wake of the recent high profile assaults of hotel maids, hotels are handing out panic buttons to their employees in an effort to keep them safe from maniac members of the public. Now, The Pierre is taking it one step further, by training its maids in self-defense. But are they being lulled into a false sense of security? Let's examine, via the NY Post report on the self-defense class:

It's a tough(er) time to be a Manhattan hotel maid. First, DSK assaulted a maid; then that Egyptian banker assaulted a maid; by then everyone was so scared that hotels started handing out panic buttons to their workers.

First, Dominique Strauss-Kahn allegedly sexually assaulted a housekeeper at Manhattan's Sofitel. Then, an Egyptian big shot allegedly sexually assaulted a maid at The Pierre. And before that, there was probably plenty of other inappropriate cock-waving towards hotel staffers which we'd rather not even think about, as well. Now, the WSJ reports, both of those hotels have agreed to give all their room attendants "panic buttons."

In addition to self-entitled politicians, celebrity herpes, elitist bedbugs, and those aggressive little purple animals that always hide inside the ice machines, please add "being gassed while sleeping" to your growing list of hotel hazards.

Charlie Sheen arrived in New York City today on his "Torpedo of Truth" tour. So where's he going to stay considering no hotel in town would have him a few days ago? Donald J. Trump to the rescue!

Le Parker Meridien hotel on West 56th Street has a great deal for horny people looking to get some quick ass on their lunch break, according to the Post: For $150 you can have a room from 11am - 3pm but, for an extra $100 you get "champagne, strawberries with whipped cream and an on-demand adult film of your choice."

Today we heard about the third dirtiest hotel and its sad child pornography connections. Yuck. Want even more yuck? Well, one commenter had to go there and be all gross, mashing together a bunch of gross internet things.

Just last week, TripAdvisor awarded the Desert Inn Resort in Daytona Beach the title of third-dirtiest hotel in America. (Belated congrats, guys!) The hotel's owner celebrated by being arrested on child porn charges (again).

Today we heard a tale of America's dirtiest hotel. It's pretty damn dirty! Which wonderful motel might be the next lodge down on this illustrious list? Well, one commenter submitted a nomination.

Congratulations are in order for the Grand Resort Hotel & Convention Center in Pigeon Forge, Tennessee, which has been named the Dirtiest Hotel in America. What does a hotel do after winning such a prestigious award?

The Marriott International hotel group won't offer porn on its room TVs in any of its new hotels. Not only that, it's phasing out porn across the entire chain over the next few years. And it's all Mitt Romney's fault.

Hotel giant Marriott won't be putting pay-per-view porn in any of its new rooms and says it plans to eventually phase out adult offerings altogether. What does the company have against porn?

[One of the suites at the new Beach Garbage Hotel in Madrid, Spain, which was made entirely out of trash and constructed to draw attention to pollution in the world's oceans. A picture of the hotel's exterior below.]

Jay-Z will not be opening his own Chelsea hotel after all. [99 Problems joke here.]

[Actor Kevin Spacey packs up his hotel room after a stay in France hosting a charity event for his foundation. Image via Bauer-Griffin.]

At least seven people died when a natural gas buildup caused an explosion at a Mexican hotel.