In addition to the handful of glassy hotels downtown that are already open for business, and the two new properties that are currently under construction, there's a third ultra-modern high-rise hotel now in the works. It doesn't have a name yet and the owners have yet to settle on a final location—it will be somewhere "between the Lower East Side and Soho"—but it may very well feature the smallest rooms in town when it eventually opens. How small? "So small that the shower is now a cylindrical tube," and there wasn't really any room for a proper bathroom, so "the toilet appears to be more or less on full display." [Curbed]

Andre Balazs' quest to make the Standard the official hotel of visiting nudists seems to be paying off. (Either that or the hotel's adult-themed promo campaign continues.) A blogger spotted a naked man in the window over the weekend, and it didn't require much waiting around either: "It took less than 20 minutes into my first visit to the High Line, on Sunday, to capture it," he says. [Restlus via Curbed]

Did your husband just leave you? Well, then, have a look at the "Suddenly Splitsville" package that the Marmara Manhattan, an "extended-stay" hotel on the Upper East Side, is now offering. In addition to a fully-furnished luxury apartment, you'll get a one-year subscription to Divorce magazine, "a pint of Haagen Daz [sic] ice cream to drown those sorrows in," a free pass to the 92nd Street Y "to work on that new physique," a complimentary copy of Confessions Of An Online Dating Addict, "a book about the trials and tribulations of a woman who dated online in New York City to learn all about dating on the Web," and free wireless Internet access so you "can start surfing the dating sites." You really couldn't ask for anything else, could you? [Marmara Manhattan via YM]

Aby Rosen and Michael Fuchs, the real estate tycoons behind RFR Holdings and the owners of Lever House and the Seagram building, had been planning to build a Shangri-La hotel on Lexington Avenue and 53rd Street. That was before all the economic messiness, of course, and last month the project was dealt a death blow when several banks foreclosed on the property. Now the already bad situation is getting worse.

Remember about a month ago when people reported seeing couples having wild sex in the windows of the new Standard Hotel? Those couples that managed to cover every possible sexual preference (men/women, men/men, women/women), and were almost always described as gorgeous by passerby? Just in case it wasn't clear that it was all part of an elaborate viral marketing campaign by hotelier (and hottie) Andre Balazs—conveniently timed to coincide with the opening of the hotel's new bar and restaurant in early June—comes a post on the hotel's official blog, which not only touts the "floor to ceiling glass windows" that "offer direct views to your most intimate moments," but also asks "amateur pornographers" to send in their "most erotic photos shot at The Standard" or upload them to Facebook:

Playboy hotelier Vikram Chatwal is the owner of several properties around town, including Midtown's Stay and Dream hotels. He says another property will be added to his portfolio in September when The Chatwal opens its doors on East 44th Street, which is also supposed to house the Lamb's Club, a restaurant by chef Geoffrey Zakarian with a bar by nightlife impresarios David Rabin and Will Regen. Whether Chatwal's plans stand any chance of panning out, though, is anyone's guess.

"Eloise," the little girl who lived at The Plaza hotel. What kid wouldn't love an Eloise-themed birthday at The Plaza? (Just play along). All kids would, yes. But at what cost? You will be amazed to learn!

It's no secret that the situation at the Plaza has been pretty grim what with all the apartments for sale that haven't been selling, retail space that hasn't been renting, bitter lawsuits, and reports of shoddy construction work. And it definitely wasn't a great sign when the condo/hotel started offering free architecture tours to lure people into the building a couple of months ago. We're going to guess, though, that the Plaza's new marketing approach—offering Eloise-themed party packages—won't do much to improve matters: "The Live Like Eloise Slumber Party Package accommodates six guests and includes a suite, a copy of The Eloise Guide to Life, Eloise DVDs, Eloise postcards, Eloise snacks, rollaway beds, and a trophy party for elementary schoolers, or, the hotel hopes, a 'girls night' for adult women. It starts at $3,595." It's really too bad those Russian billionaires who bought condos in the building are moving out. They would have totally loved this. [NYO]

You might want to inspect your bill closely the next time you stay at a hotel. Thanks to the plunging economy and the decline in travel, hotels have come up with all sorts of ingenious new ways to make money, as you may have noticed. Take, for example, the pool or exercise room that you had no intention of visiting anyway. You may end up seeing a "facility free" or "resort fee" appear on your bill, even though you went to Denver on a business trip, not to swim laps, and you've never heard anyone even use the words "resort" and "Denver" in the same sentence. You're perfectly aware that drinking a miniature-sized can of soda from the mini-bar will end up costing you $10. These days, though, you may also get slapped with a $1 "mini-bar restocking fee," which accounts for the 3.2 seconds or so it took someone to replace that $10 can of soda you just consumed.

The Way We Live Now: Besieged. New York City is crumbling into bloody class wars in the street, if selective anecdotes are any indication. Crime will follow you to your hotel! And, locusts! One day:

Because clearly there aren't enough hotels in NYC to satisfy the swarms of tourists looking to spend $500 a night on a room, Ian Schrager is building another one. And it's not going to be a plain, old five-star hotel either. Schrager is planning to convert 1414 Avenue of the Americas—currently an office building—into a "six-star" property, a designation that technically doesn't even exist in the hotel world, but is used from time to time anyway. (That's how Dubai's ridiculously over-the-top Burj Al-Arab describes itself, for example.) It's good to see Schrager is finding inspiration in his former hotel company's current ad slogan. And at least he won't have to worry about evicting the tenant on the ground floor as part of the renovation process: Jeffrey Chodorow's ode to the last boom, Kobe Club, closed last month. You see, sometimes the recession comes in handy! [NYP]

We honestly can't remember the last time we heard anyone use "Tommy Hilfiger" and "popular" in the same sentence. But maybe we're just talking to the wrong people. Tommy seems to think his brand is very quite popular, and it's nice to hear that someone has a healthy sense of self-esteem, particularly since so many people are down in the dumps these days. At the after-party for the new Jennifer Aniston movie Management the other night, Tommy explained to WWD that he's now in the "conceptual stage" of building his own chain of Hilfiger-branded hotels. Where will his first property be located? "We like America but we have great popularity all over the world," he explained. "I think we could put a hotel up in just about any major city." Which is true! At least if by "city," Tommy means "suburban strip mall with a McDonald's on one end and a Marshalls on the other." [WWD]

Whether this is a draw or a drawback is up to you, but guests who book the 46th-floor penthouse suite at the Helmsley Park Lane gain access to many of Leona Helmsley's old "personal belongings," including her "king-size bed with satin covers," "lacquered dining room table and crystal chandeliers," and the salon chair that Frédéric Fekkai once used to style "her trademark short brown hair." Access to her private swimming pool isn't part of the package, alas, although hotel employees do say they've "spruced" up the place, which is nice to hear since they also point out she went through about five packs of cigarettes a day when she lived there. [NYDN]

Real Househusband Simon van Kempen doesn't spend all of his time shopping for pink pants and planning off-season trips to St. Barts. He's also the general manager of the crummy Hotel Chandler in Murray Hill, of course. So who actually stays at the hotel that Simon claims has an occupancy rate of 96 percent since "conspicuous consumption is out of favor at the moment"? The usual suspects, like "screenwriters and actors taking advantage of discounts offered to folks in the entertainment industry," as well as die-hard Real Housewives fans, some of whom have "refused to check out until they get my autograph or photograph." And who could blame them? [Chicago Sun-Times]

And you thought we were in the middle of a recession! Notwithstanding the fact that existing hotels are having a very difficult time filling rooms—your wealthy uncle can now stay at the Ritz Carlton for less than $300 a night—a company just filed plans to construct a 19-story hotel on Ann Street in Lower Manhattan. Bravo, "107 W Broadway Realty Corp." We salute you for your courage and confidence. [NYO]

You know the trend in recession chic has gone a little too far when one of the worst hotels imaginable reports that it has a waiting list. The first-ever "zero-star hotel," which doubles as both an actual hotel and art installation and is scheduled to open in Switzerland in June, is situated in an air raid shelter and features dormitory-style rooms, shared bathrooms, limited hot water, no heat, and no windows. But it already has a 1,000-person waiting list. It's also where AIG and Bank of America should probably plan to hold their next training seminar, but we have a feeling that isn't going to happen. [HotelChatter]

Now would be an excellent time to invite your parents to come and visit New York! According to a new survey, nightly hotel rates in the city have dropped nearly 30 percent over the past year: The average room now costs $284 a night, down from $404 at the beginning of 2008. On the other hand, if you happen to despise your parents and want to punish them for ruining your childhood, you'd be better off proposing that they take a trip to Abu Dhabi, Dubai, Tokyo or Milan. Those were the only four big cities that saw hotel rates increase over the past year. [HotelChatter]

The Tribeca Film Festival is only two weeks away, which means Robert De Niro's Greenwich Hotel must already be fully booked with attendees paying top dollar to stay around the corner, right? Not so much. It turns out plenty of rooms are available, according to the folks over at Hotel Chatter, who found run-of-the-mill rooms going for just $475 a night. Of course, if you've been following the hotel over the past few months, it's likely you saw this coming. [Hotel Chatter]

The Hotel on Rivington may not be the coolest hotel downtown, but you have to give them points for trying to keep up with the whole name-brand hotel clothing trend. THOR's management is giving every employee a pair of DC LIFE "dress sneakers," so their footwear matches "the scarlet carpeting of the hotel's dramatic entrance." Also: Not a bad way to keep up employee morale when you can't afford to give anyone a raise. [HC]

A word of advice: If you happen to be a hotel manager and you notice an employee come to work with a bit of ash on his forehead, you may want to check a calendar before demanding that he "wipe that fucking shit off." It could be Ash Wednesday! Unfortunately, no one bothered to mention this to Niklaus Leuenberger, the (former) managing director of the Palace Hotel who was fired on Monday for doing just that. Of course, the rather unique location of the hotel probably didn't help Leuenberger's cause. Not only is the Palace conveniently located across the street from St. Patrick's, the church owns the property the hotel sits on, too. [NYDN]