Every hotel has a gimmick these days, but the one the Helmsley Hotel is offering up may be the most morbid. In honor of tax season—and the late Leona Helmsley's famous aversion to paying them—the hotel is offering "tax-free" rooms, a promotion that shaves roughly $50 off the $250 room rate. No word on whether the hotel has other Leona-inspired specials in the works, although given all the trouble that Trouble caused, a doggie-friendly deal seems like a natural follow-up. [HotelChatter]

If we're in the middle of a deep recession, no one has bothered to mention it to the management of The Pierre. The iconic hotel is reopening on June 1 after a lengthy renovation but it has no plans to adjust its prices for the downturn in the economy: A "classic room" will run $816 a night and suites are available for $1,640. Hurry up! These prices are only available if you book now; the hotel says it plans to raise them just as soon as the hotel opens. The very generous introductory special doesn't explain why the reservations line is currently picking up on the first ring, but, hey, it could have just been rare moment of downtime.

When Ghostface said "The glorious days are gone, and everybody's doing bad," he was referring to the day (today) when Goldman Sachs bankers would be forced to stay in the fucking Embassy Suites. It's bullshit.

What is the world coming to? Not only are Goldman Sachs employees visiting NYC no longer permitted to stay at the Ritz or Carlyle, the company is forcing them to stay at the Embassy Suites Hotel in lower Manhattan. Really. But it comes with a few perks: "The nightly manager's happy hour features free beer and popcorn. Flash a room key and earn a seat at the complimentary all-you-can-eat breakfast buffet and a 10% discount at the Chevy's Mexican-style restaurant next-door." [WSJ]

The mob gathered outside the Trump International Hotel is not comprised of outraged Trump Entertainment shareholders who watched the company file for bankruptcy protection for the third time today. Apparently they're crazy tweens hoping to catch a glimpse of the Jonas Brothers. But at least if Donald Trump is feeling particularly down in the dumps about today's news, he can always walk in and out of his hotel and guarantee himself a few rounds of applause.

This isn't an easy time for anyone in the hotel business. It's especially rough if you happen to be Robert De Niro and the hotel you're involved with happens to be the Greenwich: De Niro's partners, Ira Drukier and Richard Born, admitted this week that the new, celeb-friendly hotel is running a 50 percent occupancy rate. [NYO]

The good news: Harrah's in Atlantic City is handing out 5,000 guest room keys tomorrow from 8-10am at the corner of 48th Street and Avenue of the Americas, and from 12-1pm outside the Jacques Torres Hudson Store at 350 Hudson Street. The bad news is pretty apparent: It's the Harrah's in Atlantic City. [AMNY]

The dumpy Hotel Pennsylvania opposite Madison Square Garden is offering a very exciting special in honor of its 90th anniversary: rooms are going for just $11 a night! The catch is that you have to be able to prove you've been married to your spouse for at least 50 years. Perhaps your impoverished grandparents visiting from out-of-town would be interested? "Just make sure to load up on the hand sanitizer and perhaps invest in one of those personal sleep sacks from the SkyMall catalog," advises HotelChatter. [NewYorkology]

Hotelier Jason Pomeranc should be in a good mood today. His long-awaited, much-delayed Smyth Tribeca hotel has finally opened! The launch isn't probably quite as exciting as he imagined it would be, especially since Andre Balazs' new Standard has been soaking up all the limelight as of late, and rooms at the Smyth are available for as little as $107 a night, which makes it cheaper than New York's worst hotel, the Hotel Carter. But you sure get a lot for your $107! The rooms feature bath products by Kiehl's, snacks by Dean & Deluca and Zabar's, Sferra linens, flat-screen TVs, iPod docking stations, and free in-room Wi-Fi access, although you may want to skip that particular amenity. And you may want to consider bring your own food with you, too—or at least a stack of menus: The restaurant doesn't open until spring.

Diane von Furstenberg is branching out yet again. In an interview with the Florida's Centre Daily Times, DVF let it drop she's been dabbling in interior design, and now plans to design a few rooms at Claridge's, her fave London hotel. We're going to chalk this up to a little payback considering Andre Balazs' new Standard Hotel in the meatpacking district now shadows over DVF's "diamond-shaped glass bedroom." [Centre Daily Times via HC]

There's been tons of coverage of Andre Balazs' new Standard hotel this week. (See here and here.) If you're too lazy to actually read—or you've been mispronouncing his last name and not giving it the Hungarian accent that it cries out for—perhaps this video of Andre discussing the property will satisfy your thirst for all things Balazsian. Or just skip over to Curbed for photos from the hotel's unfinished rooftop, where Balazs plans to install two venues, including a casual bar and a "more refined club." [Curbed]

One place you may not want to stick your parents on their next trip to town: The Hotel Carter off Times Square, which TripAdvisor.com has named the dirtiest hotel in America for the third time in the last four years. What did the hotel do to earn the distinction? The leaking ceiling, stained sheets, and bedbugs didn't earn it any points. Then there was that time a couple of years ago when a housekeeper found a woman's corpse stuffed under a bed. But who cares about an occasional dead body when the rooms there are only $130 a night? [NYDN, TripAdvisor]

LES Hotel Saturation: A Map [Bowery Boogie]

The Daily News reports that Italian investment group that acquired the Flatiron building is now planning to turn the property into a "world-class hotel." You won't be able to book a room for your out-of-town relatives any time soon, though: The company says the hotel won't open until the building's remaining tenants are bought out, a process that could take up to ten years. [NYDN]

With the economy in a tailspin, there aren't quite as many "whales" heading out to Teterboro to catch complimentary flights to Las Vegas. Why bother losing all your money at the poker and blackjack tables when you can do the same thing in front of your Bloomberg terminal in your Midtown office? We're guessing this explains why MGM Mirage, the gambling giant that controls such properties as the Bellagio, Mirage, MGM, and Mandalay Bay hotels, put their incredibly luxe 2001 Boeing Business Jet on the market this week. The plane seats 17 and features a master suite, guest bedroom, conference room, and bathroom with shower. Alas, the company didn't specify how much they'd like for it, so you'll have to kick things off with an opening bid. They also didn't mention if they'd be willing to give the plane a scrub-down before it changes hands. Given the number of horndog billionaires and sleazy celebs who have probably deposited their DNA on the "luxurious, tan leather seats," it would be the least they could do, no? Photos of the interior after the jump.

You didn't think Andre Balazs hired all those hot staffers at The Standard to just answer phones and carry bags, did you? The hotel's 2009 calendar is out with photos of employees from the New York, Miami, and LA outposts acting out various high school stereotypes. (Think slutty cheerleaders and sexy stoners.) Unfortunately there aren't any photos of Andre himself included, although we're hoping that's just because he's saving the pics for a full-size poster. [The Standard via Curbed]

Andre Balazs may have inadvertently stumbled on a brilliant new hotel amenity. A tipster who stayed at Balazs' new Standard NYC last week tells us the hotel is making up for its lack of a restaurant by not only providing guests with menu binders in their rooms, but you can also call down to the front desk, tell them what you want to eat, and they'll do the ordering for you. Sadly, it appears the service is only temporary. Then it's back to holding guests hostage with $35 hamburgers and $6 cups of coffee.

Some 21 hotels may be planning to open their doors in 2009, but there's at least one high-profile project that will probably never see the light of day: the hotel that Jay-Z was planning to construct in Chelsea with developer Charles Blaichman. The former Time Warner Cable warehouse was due to be razed to make way for the hotel. It's still standing, though, and now Blaichman is now looking for a tenant to lease the space. [Curbed]

Don't tell local hoteliers that the city's tourism industry is slowing down amid the recession: A mere 21 new properties are scheduled to open their doors in 2009. [NewYorkology]

Andre Balazs' shiny, new Standard NYC soft-launched this past weekend with rates as low as $195 a night. But if you think even that is too much to spend on a hotel that doesn't have a functioning restaurant, bar or gym, Curbed kindly points out that the Liberty Inn across the street is still open for business. And it may be the best bargain in town—$60 for two hours, although you'll have to pay $40 extra for a "romantic interlude room." Just consider the tranny hookers in the hallways and the used needles in the bathrooms a memorial to the meatpacking district of days past. [Curbed]