Justin Bieber admits he took a DNA test to see if that baby is actually his. Angelina Jolie is into some kinky stuff. Britney Spears has a hard, hard life. Howard Stern thinks he and America both have talent. Wednesday's gossip is on the 4:07 to New Haven.

On America's Got Talent, Howie Mandel, a serious germaphobe, got really freaked out by some floss that was pulled through a magician's neck. Sharon Osbourne, however, just couldn't keep it together after Howie ran away from a piece of string.

Happy Canada Day, everyone! How should we all celebrate? By trying to kick oot (ha!) all the Canadians that make life unbearable. There's more of them you think, and here are the ones we wouldn't mind sending home.

Yesterday, Senator Carl Levin said "shitty deal" twelve times on TV. Last month, Joe Biden said "big fucking deal" to the President. So many curses! When do you use which? And will I go to hell for saying "fuck"?

Upstaging a retinue of guests which included hoarders and OCD sufferers with his own staggering neuroses, Howie Mandel recounted a traumatizing event from his childhood on The Bonnie Hunt Show today: his parasitic sandfly infestation.

Drew Barrymore going to lunch at La Esquina with a friend ... Kate Beckinsale arriving at JFK with her daughter and later sitting on a swing in Central Park ... Naomi Watts leaving lunch at Smile ... Sienna Miller running from photographers outside Jude Law's apartment and later shopping downtown ... Howie Mandel walking in Midtown ... Hugh Jackman playing with daughter Ava ... Wayne Gretzky and wife Janet Jones walking in Midtown ... Meg Ryan leaving ABC after an appearance on Regis & Kelly ... Jessica Simpson getting out of an SUV ... Robin Williams leaving his hotel ... Elijah Wood walking around on Long Island ... and Tito Jackson signing autographs outside his hotel.

Before Howie Mandel hosted a show where people opened briefcases to win money, he was the voice of one of the cutest Saturday morning cartoon characters of the mid 90's. That voice made an appearance last night on Leno.

New Year, new jobs: Tom Cruise has assigned Katie Holmes reproductive duties, Alec Baldwin's famous voice finally got him his dream job and Lauryn Hill is testing new mounts.

• It looks like Ashley Dupre's 15 minutes of fame isn't entirely over jet yet: She was spotted at HarperCollins' offices and is now reportedly trying to sell a memoir. [P6]
• Hijinks at the Golden Globes: Leonardo DiCaprio asked CAA to construct a ladder so he could sneak into the agency's dinner last Friday and avoid the press. Adrian Grenier and Paris Hilton were denied entry to another event. And Harvey Weinstein appears to be smoking again: He was spotted taking cigarettes out of Hilary Swank's purse. [P6]
• It's not easy being a Forbes: The family is taking its Highlander yacht out of commission until summer and has fired the ship's crew in the meantime. [P6]
• Eddy Curry is being sued by his former chauffeur for sexual harassment, after the Knicks center allegedly tried to "solicit gay sex" from the driver and forced him to "perform humiliating tasks." [NYP]

Was it a violin string snapping? The long, low moan of a siren? What was it—what sound, what feeling—that told us that Katie Holmes was leaving New York?

· Looks like Ben Silverman isn't the only one who should be updating his resume. After 246 episodes of Deal Or No Deal, last night marked the first time that a contestant took home the million dollar briefcase, which can't be good for The Banker's employment status. Congrats go out to Jessica Robinson but, truth be told, we still don't like her as much as the "I Can Do 200 Of These!" guy. [NBC] · Just the other week, we finally learned why Christian Bale sounded so hoarse in The Dark Knight. Now, can someone please explain why Bale and Kermit The Frog have never been seen in the same place at the same time before? If only Robert Stack were still alive... [ONTD] · Finally, a Friedberg/Seltzer production did the impossible. After failing with Meet The Spartans, Date Movie and Epic Movie, Disaster Movie managed to score a perfect 0% rating on Rotten Tomatoes. [Best Week Ever] · Everyone over at The CW is crowing that they managed to lure 3.4 million viewers into watching Gossip Girl's second season premiere last night. Those sound like good numbers, except when you compare it to the 7.7 million that tuned into TNT's Raising The Bar. Zack Morris will always be cooler than Serena Van Der Woodsen. [TV Week] · Hey Chauncey, Go Fuck Yourself Buddy: A Mad Men Wishlist. [This Recording]

PrivacyWatch celebrity sightings are submitted by our readers, and are posted several times a week, so send them in often—the fate of the universe relies upon it! Submit yours to tips[AT]defamer.com (please put "sighting" or "PrivacyWatch" in the subject line so we don't lose them) and tell everyone about how the sound of Mickey Rourke's loud snoring prevented you from getting any work done at the Santa Monica Public Library.

An appalling four months after the brave Deal Or No Deal model-slave known only as Briefcase Number Two took to basic cable to expose the show's inhumane working conditions (particularly chilling was Two's showcasing of the scars Howie Mandel inflicted with a cat o' nine tails for her unacceptable fumbling with a lock on her assigned Zero Halliburton during a crucial moment), the mainstream media has decided to finally take up the mistreated mannequins' cause.

UPDATE: Under what circumstances exactly could Carter's elite spot become one of the most queried terms on the Internet on a Friday in January?

The 79th most searched item on Google Trends today? Vanity Fair editor Graydon Carter's power crowd restaurant, the no-reservation "Waverly Inn." Either New York is taking over the Internet or the rest of the world is taking the day off.

Ellen DeGeneres promises to liven up the Deal or No Deal proceedings when she makes a guest appearance on the hit NBC game show. But unlike past guests, like Donald "The Banker" Trump and Celine "Open Da Case!" Dion, the canine-regifter will join the show's Pyramid of Hot Briefcasemodels. TVGuide.com reports:

As if the grief of this week weren't already about to swallow our heavy hearts whole, People rocks our world by demolishing our last shred of hope that good might eventually triumph. Charlize Theron, who so courageously uglied herself up to win an Oscar, is now reportedly locked in the jaws of an even more terrible monster: Howie Mandel. A poisonous, soul-destroying addiction to the Deal or no Deal video game has reduced Theron to hiding in her trailer, feverishly playing with faux-Howie, waving off director Paul Haggis's questions about a scene, and wantonly ignoring his unwelcome pleas for her to take the money and run.