New Year, new jobs: Tom Cruise has assigned Katie Holmes reproductive duties, Alec Baldwin's famous voice finally got him his dream job and Lauryn Hill is testing new mounts.

  • Alec Baldwin will host the New York Philharmonic's national radio broadcasts after telling the New Yorker that was his dream job. And after garnering unexpected national attention for one of his own audio recordings. [P6]
  • Howie Mandel was hospitalized for an irregular heartbeat while away from home in Toronto. [People]
  • In exchange for getting to go nearly insane acting in a Broadway play while raising a child, Katie Holmes must produce Tom Cruise another baby and gain some weight. That's the deal, supposedly. [Showbiz Spy]
  • Tom Wilkinson doesn't like talking about his Valkyrie co-star Tom Cruise. Meanwhile, Tracy Morgan, who E! can't help but confuse with his 30 Rock character Tracy Jordan, can't stop talking about how amazing Cruise's handshake is. [E!]
  • Jennifer Love Hewitt obtained a restraining order against the 62-year-old who has been inundating her with dozens of explicit letters. Actually, the usual verb is that she "won" a restraining order, like a prize or something. [AP]
  • Jeremy Piven said he really truly had mercury poisoning. "The truth is — that I ended up in the hospital for three days. This play meant the world to me... I had a resting heart rate of 47, I had six times the average person’s mercury level." [Gatecrasher]
  • Leonardo DiCaprio, who Miley Cyrus WILL marry, requested a ladder so he could climb into a Golden Globes-related dinner undetected by the paparazzi. Kate Bosworth held hands with a Hollywood suit. Paris Hilton was turned away at the door. Sounds like a party.
  • Jill Ishkanian lost a $55 million suit against former employer Us Weekly for purportedly trying to ruin her reputation. Now she owes $1 million in legal fees. [P6]
  • Lauryn Hill "wandered in right off the street" for a horse-riding lesson. [P6]