In case the title didn't tip you off, let me tell you that last night's SyFy original movie SharkNado was a perfect storm. Not only were there sharks in a tornado, but this squirtable-cheese pile of absurdity arrives at a moment that audiences are particularly receptive to shlock (via communal entertainment like YouTube and reality TV, "guilty pleasures" feel increasingly less guilty and more pleasurable) and the '90s revivalism that comes from throwing together a jittery Tara Reid, an ageless Ian Ziering, a barely recognizable John Heard (Kevin's father in Home Alone) and CGI straight out of the Sega Genesis game Ecco the Dolphin. SharkNado set Twitter on fire, as any train wreck can. This particular train wreck, however, happened to be conducted by sharks. In a tornado (actually multiple tornados and a hurricane, too).

The most beautiful woman of the 1990s (in our humble opinion) is heading back into the acting game after a period of relative obscurity. Also today: Casting news from your favorite office, the return of Steve Sanders, and Glenn Close's Oscar chances.

Today the cosmos align and the calendrical system itself bows down before the greatness that is, was, and forever shall be, Beverly Hills, 90210. On this most hallowed day, 9/02/10, we celebrate with memories of that perpetually troubled original posse.

• There's a good chance you'll be seeing the cast of Jersey Shore in the tents at Fashion Week. (If, that is, you happen to be going to Fashion Week.) MTV's newest crop of reality stars have been asking to tickets to shows, and a few designers have extended invites to "to attend or even model." [P6]
• If you wanted to go to business school but didn't do so well on the GMATs, Diddy is here to help. He says he plans to open a business school in New York City in the near future. [Starpulse, Us]
• Michael Jackson's "personal physician," Dr. Conrad Murray, is expected to surrender to the authorities today in connection with charges he played a role in Jackson's death. He'll likely be charged with involuntary manslaughter, which could land him four years in jail. [TMZ]
• Perpetual brat Kanye West threw a fit while flying back to New York from LA when he was told he and his assistant would have to sit in business class, not first. The temper tantrum paid off, though: The airline found room for him in the front of the plane and the rest of the flight went off without a hitch. [P6]

Norah Jones turns 30 today. Celine Dion is turning 41. Warren Beatty is 72. Eric Clapton turns 64. Actor/comedian Paul Reiser is turning 52. Tracy Chapman is 45. Mark Consuelos, the husband of Kelly Ripa, is 38. Reality TV judge Piers Morgan is turning 44. MC Hammer is 47. And former 90210 star Ian Ziering turns 45 today.

Once upon a time, we thought that the babydaddy mystery surrounding Kelly Taylor's love child on the new 90210 would be the "Who killed Laura Palmer?" of the CW set, with Jennie Garth given mysterious, clue-laden bon mots to drop all season, then a hasty denouement revealing Kelly's torrid night of cappuccinos with Nat at the Peach Pit five years ago. Then, producers threw us for a loop, stating that Shannen Doherty would reveal the big secret as early as tomorrow night's episode when Brenda confronts Kelly about dating the hot hipster teacher at West Bev. Now, in the wake of that hint, a tipster has informed us that a Canadian ad for the big episode may unwittingly supply the father's identity. Spoilers, after the jump...According to tipster "Lezzy McGuire":

Despite being paced a bit too frenetically for our liking, last week's two-hour debut of the 90210 reboot managed to intrigue us enough to tune in for last night's episode (although it appears that 25% of those first week viewers didn't feel the same way). And while the new brood of West Beverly High School students still can't stop smiling, we couldn't help but find ourselves smiling a little bit during the episode's (admittedly shoehorned-in) plotlines revolving around Kelly Taylor. Suckers for nostalgia, rejoice! Last night, we finally got some details about her mystery four year old son, the product of a one night splash-off with someone who she "had a lot of history together [with] in high school" (but has since left her high and dry). Join us as we investigate the eight likeliest candidates for being the dude whose little swimmers got all up in Kelly Taylor's biznass.

PrivacyWatch celebrity sightings are submitted by our millions of Defamer operatives. We'd like to remind you that this feature is powered by you, so if you want to see more installments of PrivacyWatch, then all you've got to do is to send us your sightings. Submit yours to tips[AT]defamer.com (please put "sighting" or "PrivacyWatch" in the subject line so we don't lose them) and tell everyone about the time you saw Courtney Love pawing through Benjamin Moore paint samples in Santa Monica.

When choosing between months of intensive studies spent hunched over a Torah preparing for your kiddushin (that's betrothal for you goyum, which are non-Jews for you...non-Jews), and becoming a big star, it seems Isla Fisher has decided to go with the latter. As the Daily Mail reports, the potential redheaded successor to Lucille Ball's slapstick throne has put off the conversion process in order to complete filming Confessions Of A Shopaholic. And fiance Sacha Baron Cohen's ultra-religious parents just don't see what all this movie stardom fuss is all about. The wedding date has reportedly been postponed, Cohen's gone back to making Israelis cry as Bruno, and the wee Cohen baby is presumably in the hands of the only au pair they could find who hasn't seen Borat. But Fisher isn't the first actress to undergo conversion to Judaism for a guy — from Liz Taylor to Connie Chung, a diverse handful of stars became Jews in the name of love, though not every shattered wine glass led to a happy ending...

PrivacyWatch celebrity sightings are submitted by the loyal readers of Defamer. As a few emailers have noted, it took us a few weeks to collect this installment — if you want to see this feature run more frequently, be sure to send in your tips early and often! Submit yours to tips[AT]defamer.com (please put "sighting" or "PrivacyWatch" in the subject line so we don't lose them) and tell everyone about the time you saw "Hey Now" Hank Kingsley (aka Jeffrey Tambor) buying travel-sized saline solution and a "single fleet enema" at Gelson's.

Once great filmmaker Quentin Tarantino filled actors Rob Schneider and Ian Ziering with a false sense of hope at a cocktail party last night. Tarantino talked to the guys for what seemed to be hours about how he had written a couple of parts in his latest script that they'd be perfect for. Yet when Schneider and Ziering attempted to follow up on the project the next day, the number they called had been disconnected. Schneider was not too upset about it, stating that he could just worm his way into another Adam Sandler film. However, Ziering took the news a bit too hard. He stated that he stopped getting his unemployment checks recently, and since he wasn't getting any callbacks regarding the 90210 spin-off, Ziering explained that he may have to pick up a shift at Peets' Coffee in Glendale.

Today's Page Six wonders: "WHICH Hollywood trio of friends is in trouble? One is on crack, one's on smack, and the other cheats so much on his wife that he single-handedly is supporting several hookers..." We've narrowed it down to a few possible candidates; your input is, of course, mandatory.

• The beginning of reality television star and improbable mommy Nicole Richie's trial on charges of driving under the influence has been delayed til August 16. Which is exactly when she'll shockingly miscarry. Duh. [AP]
  

Having lost many years and countless brain cells to the various Aaron Spelling-produced entertainments of our youth, we were thrilled to receive an invitation to last Friday night's DVD release party for the first seasons of 90210 and Melrose Place at the Beverly Hilton. Even though we were quite content to celebrate the occasion by huddling at home and staring at an autographed Tiger Beat cover of Jason Priestly we recently obtained at astronomical cost from eBay seller BrandonFan1991, we still dispatched Defamer staff photographer Amy Rodrigue to capture the laughs, tears, and emotional group hugs (Shannen Doherty didn't show up, so there were no third-degree bodily assaults to former castmates with utensils from the buffet) we were sure would accompany the many reunions fostered by such a momentous event. After the jump, our photos from the party, complete with just about every 90210/Melrose reference we could think of without consulting Steve Sanders and Amanda Woodward fan sites.