idiots

Bronx School Hires White Supremacist as Principal

Max Read · 07/31/11 09:41AM

When the 200-student Bronx primary school Our Lady of Mount Carmel needed a new principal, its pastor, Rev. Eric Rapaglia, knew exactly who to hire: White supremacist author Frank Borzellieri.

Fugitive Taunts Cops on Facebook, Gets Caught

Max Read · 07/28/11 10:51AM

Taunting police on Facebook when they're out searching for you is, admittedly, pretty funny. But if you're going to do it, it's important that you not get caught. Otherwise you end up like recently-apprehended fugitive Victor Burgos: In jail, and looking really dumb.

Oslo Bombing Witness Would Rather Tell You About His Awesome Workout

Seth Abramovitch · 07/26/11 01:26AM

It's impossible to wrap one's head around the awfulness to befall Norway this week, so one New Zealand newscast turned to a Kiwi expat who was near the site of the Oslo bombing for an eyewitness account. Unfortunately, however, that's all just a pretense for Cameron Leslie to share what's really been on his mind over the past few days: his totally killer workout!

Racist Citizenry of Arizona Object to Word 'Haboob'

Seth Abramovitch · 07/22/11 02:56AM

Some Arizonans are incensed that the dust storms that have been plaguing them all month are being called "haboobs" by the media. They object to the term because it contains the word "boobs," something they are deathly afraid of. [NYT]

Suicidal Pilot Attempts to Kill Mother With Terrible Pun

Adrian Chen · 07/21/11 10:02AM

Swiss pilot Konrad Schmidt was angry at his mother for divorcing his father. So, he decided to try to kill her by flying a small plane into her house. That's bad enough, but did he really have to end his life with a pun?

A New Low in Graduation Speech Plagiarism

Hamilton Nolan · 06/29/11 09:30AM

Graduation season always brings with it entertaining tales of lazy, desperate, or just plain dumb graduation speakers, who chose to plagiarize their speeches. Already this year we've had a medical school dean ripping off Atul Gawande, and a law school graduate pleading ignorance about the fact that plagiarism is frowned upon. But now, I think we've found our official Dumbest Speech Plagiarism of the 2011 Graduation Season.

Woman Allegedly Hires Hitman on Her Facebook Wall

Max Read · 06/15/11 09:02PM

You know how we're always remind you to update your privacy settings? Here's a great example why: If you try to hire a hitman on your Facebook wall, and your Facebook wall is public, you will get arrested.

Thieves Attempting to Rob Dunkin Donuts Mistakenly Steal Donuts

Max Read · 06/11/11 11:13AM

Three masked men, "armed with knives and a hatchet," attempted to rob a Dunkin Donuts in Hayannis, Mass. on Wednesday, bursting in through the door and demanding that the cashier hand over a paper bag in her purse. A paper bag filled with donuts.

VS Naipaul: Women Writers Suck

Hamilton Nolan · 06/02/11 08:32AM

VS Naipaul is a winner of the Nobel Prize for literature, and is considered one of the greatest British writers of his generation. So he must be a smart guy, right? Sure, sure.

Bill O'Reilly: Half of the World's Muslims Don't Want Democracy or Human Rights

Matt Cherette · 05/19/11 10:07PM

At the end of a discussion about President Obama's Middle East policy address on tonight's Factor, Bill O'Reilly explained the "Muslim problem" thusly: "For every Muslim in the world that wants democracy and wants human rights, there's one who doesn't, and the one who doesn't doesn't have any rules and will blow the hell out of the one who does." So great news, Muslims: You have a 50% chance of Bill O'Reilly's approval.