With Lindsay Lohan's reported stay at Utah's Cirque Lodge currently impeding her ability to generate more gossip-column content on her own (that is, unless she hijacks a wild horse or a helicopter and makes a break for the bars of Park City), the tabloids have been forced to reach out to the Lohan-adjacent for new stories. In the upcoming issue of In Touch, the actress's former bodyguard celebrates the sacred bond between human shield and vulnerable client by sharing some of his fondest memories of his time as a member of the Lohan family. From Page Six: