Sarah Palin, America's squeakiest wheel, took a bold public stand against tolerance yesterday, berating a group of high school girls for refusing to patronize the Great White State of Arizona. Sarah Palin vows to fight anyone who disagrees with racism.

Here in America, it's a well-known fact that grad school is just a last resort to wait out the recession while getting into crippling debt. Unaware of this, our enemies are trying to get themselves into these thoroughly useless institutions.

The Metropolitan Museum of Art laid off 357 people today. This will save them $10 million—$28,000 per layoff. They still have 2,200 employees. Several uncultured questions:

Somebody forgot to do the exorcism, because the Montauk Monster has been found. Again.

The Mexican Swine Flu outbreak and it subsequent media coverage: what does renowned Life Stylist Blair French have to say about it? Enough to issue an ill-advised press release, astoundingly!

Will the bad news for America never cease? CNN has gone and canceled its highest-rated Daily Show ripoff incongruously hosted by a mediocre standup comedian, "D.L. Hughley Breaks the News."

Once upon a time there was an odd young internet fameball named Jakob Lodwick who decided to quit the internet entirely after it failed to adequately explain China. In unrelated news, 'Jake' Lodwick is blogging!

Our totally unsolicited press release of the day has arrived! "Hello, as Julie Henderson's publicist, I've read some unflattering blogs calling her a 'high fallutin' call girl' and a 'golddigger,'" it begins. There's more!

Is there any particular reason that Time magazine has a story (?) on its website right now with the byline "By Ashley Alexandra Dupre"? The entire content of the story is a big picture of Ashley Alexandra Dupre, and the words "I'm sorry for your pain." Either the Spitzer hooker has been hired on to write Zen koans, or something seriously strange is going on in Time's internet department. (Now Time tells us this was supposed to be a "Quote of the Day" that was accidentally converted into an article page. Crazy!) Click through for a big picture of the screen, in case it gets pulled. [Time]

Gandhi is my homeboy. And yours! Let's figure out this ad campaign together. The slogan: "Life is easier if you don't speak up. Debate." Naturally you can see how the whole theme develops from that point. You can't see (I'm willing to bet) what the hell this campaign might be promoting, but hey, that's something you can "debate." After the jump, see Gandhi cookin' out, Mandela chillaxin', and the Dalai Lama ready to hit some serious slopes, screw the politics yo!

Ha ha, wow, has the management of the Wrangler jeans company all been kidnapped and tied up in a closet, causing the company to be run currently by French anarchist intellectuals? Because that is my operating theory. First Wrangler—Wrangler!—set off its just plain dumb "We are animals" campaign with that cult-like hipster photo shoot by Ryan McGinley. Now (southern accent) Rain-guhlurr, proudly headquartered in Greens-bruh Nawth Cair-Lyna, has a commercial with some French guy talking about "Why do we live when we know we will die?" Uh, to watch NASCAR? Watch this abomination after the jump. Riots amongst Alabama denim fans TK:

Sometimes we come across a PR item so ignorant, misguided, and inexplicable that we just have to shake our heads back and forth and sigh in a dramatic manner. We have one such item right here. If you ran a newspaper that had been terribly embarrassed for treating a racist publicity stunt as front page news just weeks ago-so embarrassed, in fact, that the editor responsible was quietly fired-would you not, in the future, do everything possible to distance yourself from the bad designer who fooled you with with the stunt? Metro NY decided: instead of that, why don't we just sponsor this guy's next fashion show? The press release for the upcoming L.E.S. Fashion Flipside show is below. As you can see, Metro is listed as one of only two sponsors for the show. And [bad designer], last seen trying to sell a copy of his poetry book "America, My Whore" to a reporter from Jewish Week, is listed as the first name under "boutiques." Urgh:

So what is Carl Weathers, the actor who played Rocky villain Apollo Creed, up to these days? Mostly just riding around on an odd bicycle with a basket full of flowers, scaring the townfolk with his long disquisitions on their appearance, and behaving generally like a man afflicted with Asperger's Syndrome. He encourages you to CHANGE, in the strongest possible terms! Because change is beautiful! This is all designed to promote some credit union, of course. We bring you three separate examples of Apollo's scary, unsolicited friendliness, after the jump. Someone help this man.

So, what does James Michael Tyler, the actor who played "Central Perk" manager Gunther on Friends, have to say about our Cash-Waving Craigslist Dater? "It's continually astounding how deep and wide the cultural divide can seem at a distance. It is equally affirming to recognize that the chasm may be breached by a few well placed words of wisdom." Possibly the most random quote ever to come into existence. [Animal NY]

The UK government body that regulates advertising passed new rules this month banning TV commercials that are too loud. That's right; ads shouldn't be "excessively noisy or strident." Nor should they be excessively blaring, deafening, roaring, or stentorian, if the thesaurus has anything to say about it. The ostensible reason for the rule is to prevent your neighbors from hearing commercials on your television. "This might sound straightforward," says the New York Times. Um, no it doesn't. Has the British government come up with a magic volume button-disabling law?

When you're in a bar, and you need to get up from your seat for a moment, have you ever felt a desire for a paper square—preferably printed with a cheeky message—that you could place on your chair as a "seat saver" until you return? Us neither. But someone in Philadelphia apparently thought that such a thing would be useful innovation. As well as a perfect medium for advertising messages! So they made the thingamajigs, which are double-sided with two contrasting messages that you can change based on (guessing here) how drunk you are. What branding initiative wouldn't be enhanced by its inclusion on a product meant to primarily sit underneath people's asses? Two more pictures of these unreasonable things [via Adrants] below.

This crosslinked and multiplatform new social interactive online media world is causing actual respected media outlets to fuck up. No question about it. Exhibit one: The national paper of record has allowed its core purpose of covering the news to evolve and extend to the point that this totally incomprehensible short video featuring Josh Hartnett staggering through the snow can fall under the Times' content umbrella. It's truly a long tail of crap, or something. The press release explains that the "T Community online" is all about "discovering what is new and hot in stylized online storytelling." Journalistic! Anyone who can intuit the meaning of this video, and logically connect it with the core purpose of the financially beleaguered newspaper industry in any number of rational steps, wins our undying gratitude. Couldn't the money spent here be used to give Sewell Chan a raise? Click to watch the star-studded clip.

Here's a question from a PR agency that we just can't figure out: "Was New York socialite Tinsley Mortimer doing a little "file sharing" over the weekend?" WHAT? This is the lead to an email blast promoting some file sharing website in a very roundabout way. But we have to admit we're stumped by that opener. Why the scare quotes around "file sharing?" What are they really trying to say about Tinsley Mortimer? This is supposed to be making her look good, you crazy PR people! The more we think about it, the more dirty theories we come up with, which we will tastefully not print here. Some of you are pretty media savvy, though; what the hell does this mean? Full retarded yet cryptic email after the jump.