Redheaded standup comedian Michael Somerville has defeated our former intern Neel Shah to become Glamour's new dating advice columnist. We were always kind of kidding before when we joked about Neel's business being insufficient, but now we're actually convinced.

New Man [WWD]

Girls, and by 'girls,' I mean all of you! This is your last chance to use your vote to make a difference. A difference, that is, in the career path of our former Intern Neel Shah, who is still in the running towards becoming Glamour's new "Jake" relationship advice columnist. Well, just barely. He didn't fare so well in the final Jake challenge, in which he was honestly assessed by a former girlfriend. "Was I good in bed?" he asked her. The answer, depending on how familiar you are with Neel's salient characteristics, mayn't surprise you.

On the CBS Early Show this morning, our former Intern Neel pandered to the aged contingent of voters who may yet still make him Glamour magazine's next "Jake" advice columnist. Neel likes being with older women because "it's a different experience." He went on to clarify that "it's not something you experience on a regular day to day basis." Yeah, we hear it's more like every other day.

Over at Glamour, the lads are still competing to see who will be the next advice columnist "Jake," and our former Intern Neel is trying to charm his putative fanbase with blog posts about... well, about his sketchy booty-calling ways. Nice one, Neel! But some of his highfalutin' literary references seem to be whizzing right over these readers' pretty little heads. For example, that booty-text-etiquette post was headlined, "Paging Emily Post," referring to the etiquette expert. Neel had Bradshawishly closed his musings with a query: "Do you guys really want a phone call the day after a drunk hookup call, even if it's awkward?" A commenter responded:

Hey guys,
my name is neel shah—i'm a writer in NYC. I'm involved in some contest for Glamour Magazine write [sic] now, and sort of need some assistance from you guys. Essentially, Glamour is trying to find their next male dating columnist, and they've pitted three guys against each other (me and two others). It's hard enough getting white people to vote for a brown person in this thing, so i figured i'd try to galvanize the brown voting community as well. You guys actually wrote about me once (I used to work for Gawker), so i was hoping this might fit with your blog, too. Anyway, I hate asking for stuff like this, but i figured it was worth a shot. It's always been my goal to dispense love advice to white women in the midwest. sort of.

Let's all take a moment and cross our fingers for our all-gwowed-up Intern Neel, who is competing to become Glamour's new sex and relationships advice guy. He'll need all the luck he can get! Psych. His competition is some redheads, one of whom is a single dad. Congratulations, Neel! Let's just hope no one finds out about your small "chutney bottle."

An intrepid tipster sent us a link to a BBC article this morning about the very real problem that AIDS is spreading in India because of an unually high incidence of condom breakage and slippage. The cause? Well, according to a recent study,

It's so hard to see the little ones grow up and take wing; you nurture them, tutor them in the ways of righteousness, and then send them out into the big, scary world, hoping that the values you've imbued somehow help them through life's most trying tasks, specifically, working for Maer Roshan. As Eat the Press reports, our own Intern Neel (whose tenure here at Gawker exceeds that of the four current editors combined) has taken the position of Assistant Editor at Radar. Neel, whose party dispatches were legendary and who elicits a flood of "Is he single?" e-mails to the tip line each time we print his photograph, will write front of the book stuff for the magazine (remember, there's going to be a magazine component) and Fresh Intelligence work for the website. Sorry as we are to see him go, we're thrilled for him, and we look forward to reading his work in the two issues of Radar they put out before the inevitable loss of funding. Congratulations, kiddo.

We were at the gym kind of late last night, running on the elliptical trainer and watching MTV on the personal TV, because THAT IS HOW WE ROLL. We were just in time to catch Beyonce's performance at the VMAs. Did you catch it? We will describe it for you: all these sirens go off because it is an emergency, a DANCE EMERGENCY, and then Beyonce is lowered to the stage? On a rope? With the most serious look on her face? But like, sexy-serious? Wearing a giant tan trench-coat? We actually laughed out loud and said "This is the most retarded thing we have ever seen" to no one in particular. It's shit like that that makes us stay away from shit like that, which is why we sent Gawker Correspondent Neel Shah to the actual proceedings, because THAT IS ALSO HOW WE ROLL.

Last night News gossip Ben Widdicombe and T (the NYT Style book) bigwig Horacio Silva threw a little party at Silva's charming apartment. The soiree was in honor of Lee Tulloch, whose Fabulous Nobodies is being republished on its twentieth anniversary. We dispatched Intern Neel, whose coverage follows, along with the fine work of Gawker lensman Nikola Tamindzic.

Interesting piece in this Sunday's Times about interns. Turns out they're young, they're hip, and they'll keep you connected with the youth of today.

We've all spent a fair deal of time analyzing, pondering, lamenting and/or scoffing at the situation of Kaavya Viswanathan, the Harvard sophomore who, after receiving $500K for a two-book deal, has been accused of plagiarizing passages in her debut novel How Opal Mehta Got Kissed, Got Wild, and Got a Life. But someday, the current controversy will be a thing of the past, and what then of young Kaavya? There is, of course, a very young woman at the center of all this.