You might think interning under a coal-hearted Elle editor would be totally fun—long days discussing the Hills really loudly in the office and verbally abusing "freelancer Caragh"! But you'd be so so wrong. Three weeks ago interns received an acerbic 5-point 710-word missive, sent from a BlackBerry! Look guys, Elle's Accessories editor Nina Sterghiou is a "big fan of rewarding people for good work, and giving them more responsibility + interesting tasks, but so far no one has proven themselves capable of handling the basics." And also, Merry Christmas, bitches!

Facebook engineer Charles Cheever tells Intern Memo that one of the "most interesting" aspects of interning for the social network is that "it's not unheard of for interns to be older than the full-timers they work with." So by "most interesting" Cheever must mean "soul-sucking," right?

Over the weekend, multiple sclerosis victim and talkshow host Montel Williams threatened a teenage newspaper intern who asked him a question at a press event. "Don't look at me like that," he said to her. "Do you know who I am? I'm a big star, and I can look you up, find where you live and blow you up." On the next "Montel Williams Show"—"Former U.S. Naval Officers Behaving Badly: What to do when your child is threatened by crazy men with expert tactical ordnance deployment."

It seems young Spike Carter, who removed his college video project from his website yesterday evening, is not the only talented Emerson College student out there who kind of knows how to use Final Cut Pro! Bravo TV intern and Jersey native son Chris Ultimo recently made a video he made for the network's Intern Blog. It makes us like Spike Carter a lot more, even if he is the son of a famous man. Be warned: You'll never get these three minutes of your life back.

A Teen Vogue intern intones: "[F]irst impressions are everything! I recommend wearing heels whenever possible. (I'm currently obsessed with my camel suede and gold metallic leather sandals from Jimmy Choo.)" Somehow we don't think she bought those on her intern salary. [Teen Vogue]

Can you help us finalize this very imperfect list?

Joanne Lipman's secret editorial plan to save Conde Nast Portfolio from the crisis that she doesn't yet know that it's totally in: Unpaid 36-hour-a-week college internships for researcher-bloggers. HAHA. NO. We'd laugh if it wasn't so sad that a bunch of talented people gave up other jobs to go work for the right magazine at the right time run by entirely the wrong crazy person. [Craigslist]

Everyone's fave former magazine editor turned MySpace cult leader (today: her relationship with God!) is looking for an intern. Do you have what it takes to get a "stipend" from the 'Toos?

Former Minnesotan, total vegetarian, and current Google intern Eric Hielscher has been at his job for a couple weeks now, and he's been blogging about his experiences moving to New York and starting a new job. He met "a nice ex-Puerto Rican (lots of them in NY)" who helped him move! It's a familiar tale, to be sure, but one that is getting played out in the way that only an intern for one of the richest companies in the world, who grew up in an 800-person town in the Midwest, can play it.

What's with these summer interns lately? Either they're overworked and underpaid and complaining about it, or underworked and underpaid and complaining about it. Is no one ever happy? Today on Poynter, an intern writes in to the "Ask a Recruiter" feature because s/he's bored to tears at their "do-nothing" internship. And over on the Ed2010 message board, someone complains, "I have two internships with the same publisher and both have immense amounts of downtime. I spend 40 hrs a week there and get 5 hours of work each week if I'm lucky. Everytime I ask editors or assts for work they apologize and say they have nothing for me, not even a photocopy." Oh, boo hoo! Just wait until you're working your ass off for a horrible boss who makes you stay until all hours and asks you to pick up their dry cleaning. Not that we're thinking of anyone in particular.

In the Times magazine this weekend, we learned that "it is possible to move out of the class you were born into, either up or down... but the transition almost always means a great disruption to your sense of self. And you can ascend the class ladder only if you are willing to sacrifice many of your relationships and most of your values—and only if you first devote yourself to careful study of the hidden rules of the class you hope to enter." Also, we hear that rising U of Illinois sophomore and Park Avenue Peerage blogger James Kurisunkal has transitioned from New York magazine profile punchline to New York magazine intern. Congratulations, James!

The children of the rich and famous (and Vanessa Williams) get internships at magazines. Yes, it does seem like you've read this story before! [WWD]

We need a summer intern or two for some research-intensive data-gathering projects. Inquire within. Also, wouldn't turn down a couple junior reporter types either. Non-traditional (cough non-Ivy) applicants encouraged, all welcome.

Glamour executive fashion director at large Suze Yalof Schwartz has some choice words for Julie Fredrickson, who interned at Glamour once upon a time for four days before discovering "just how much like pledging a sorority" the experience is. Julie's now gainfully employed at fashion blog Coutorture, which she co-founded. Suze congratulates her on her success, then calls her out on being a total spoiled brat.

WHO: Two interns for a project!
WHAT: Two interns! Project!
WHERE: New York City
WHEN: ASAP
WHY: Because you have an irrational obsession and a healthy disgust for women's magazines, celebrity weeklies, fashion, dating tips and Gwyneth Paltrow.
HOW: Email us at fashionwhore@gawker.com and tell us who you are and why you want to spend 20+ hours a month explicating the content in everything from Jane to Jane's Defence Weekly. IMPORTANT: Emails with attachments will be deleted before opening.

• 2500 astronomers from 75 countries decide Pluto isn't a planet, but a dwarf planet. Copernicus has no comment. [CNN]
• 250,000 women from 1 country decide Michael Noer isn't a dick, but a COLOSSAL dick. Everyone continues to comment. [The American Prospect]
• Do The Killers need to be taken down a peg? Two new songs to help you decide. [stereogum]
• Speaking of killers, we present MyDeathSpace. [via bestweekever]
• This girl's taking a killing, but a finance intern in London acting a little snootay? Shocking! [TimesUK]
• Eliot Spitzer seems slightly less jovial than Tom Suozzi. [NYDN]
• Publicists and fashion bloggers congregate together. Ewwww. Watch from a safe distance. [youtube]

Great piece in the Post today on interns, many of whom suffer terrible indignities for little or no pay. I know, can you believe it? The story, written by Veronica Thew and Christopher Cassuto (we want to know which one came up with the line, "The devil, it seems, doesn't always wear Prada;" it's both humorous and timely!) is full of anecdotes from actual interns about the actual abuse they've endured. This one caught our eye:

Hello there, laddy! The strapping young buck at right is Theo Wenner, son of Jann and Jane Wenner and Rolling Stone photo intern extraordinaire. It's hard to know much more about Theo as his Facebook profile can only be viewed by his 131 friends (popular!), but some commenters have noted that he's the co-creator of SelfPortrait.net, loves the Ramones and identifies himself with Bard '05 when he's actually in the class of '09 (so punk, dude). He loves Fellini and included amongst his heroes is Abe Lincoln — you know, reminds him of Dad.

The only surprise about Jann Wenner's 19-year-old son Theo spending the summer as a Rolling Stone photo intern is the news that Jann has a son named Theo. Presumably short for Theodore, but still — Theo? Was "Cliff" not available?

Interesting piece in this Sunday's Times about interns. Turns out they're young, they're hip, and they'll keep you connected with the youth of today.