It's fitting, really, that the baseball game chosen by failed entrepreneur Seth Goldstein in his new metaphor for startup success is Curt Schilling's near no-hitter. The Red Sox pitcher let one batter from the A's get a hit in the ninth with just one out to go. If only Goldstein's ventures (such as the incomprehensible startup AttenTV or the confusing seller exchange by Goldstein's Root Markets) came so close to success. After all, Curt's team still won the game. But if Seth really understood the four points he gleaned from Curt's near miss (Throw strikes, trust your defense, listen to your catcher, and pitch don't throw), why hasn't his startup wisdom translated into a company that makes money — or even gets sold on time?

As everyone knows, Gawker readers are classy, affluent individuals whose extreme productivity allows them plenty of time to stay up to speed on the important goings-on of the internet. And, like many refined, tasteful people, they're incredibly hard to shop for. As the Holidays approach, we thought we'd make like every other reputable news and entertainment outlet and provide you with a few gift suggestion that are tailored to the unique needs of the hip, savvy Gawker demographic. They're after the jump, conveniently broken down by reader stereotype.

If our reader survey demographics are any indication, none of you have seen the inside of a Wal-mart in, well, ever, so maybe this is irrelevant, but I thought I'd post it anyway. Wal-mart has decided to remove Maxim, Stuff and FHM from its magazine rack. Dennis Publishing, which owns Maxim and Stuff, reports that Wal-mart accounts for less than 3% of its sales, so it's probably fair to assume that this doesn't mean the demise of babes-n-beer jokes or the ubiquitous "charticles" (chart = article) for those who can't read more than 100 words at a time. The magazines are being removed under pressure from Christian groups who find the covers too "racy." (Wal-mart has also banned specific issues of magazines, refusing to sell one issue of In Style that included an "artfully arranged" photo of Kate Hudson nude.) I'm not one to criticize Wal-Mart for being a massive soul-destroying retail chain, as I think there's something to be said for price efficiencies, but you have to love a store whose policy is "we won't sell laddie mags because god knows what sort of trouble those would start (think of the children!) but we have a special on Remington 500sfree ammo with every purchase!" (Oh, and here's a free John Deere mesh cap as well. You can mail it to your cousin in Williamsburg, where it will be worn with fashionable irony.) Maybe they just need a waiting period for buying lad mags. Force the lads to register! Laddie mags don't kill people; people kill people!
Three racy men's magazines banned by Wal-mart [NYT]
Best values for hunting season! [Wal-mart]