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As everyone knows, Gawker readers are classy, affluent individuals whose extreme productivity allows them plenty of time to stay up to speed on the important goings-on of the internet. And, like many refined, tasteful people, they're incredibly hard to shop for. As the Holidays approach, we thought we'd make like every other reputable news and entertainment outlet and provide you with a few gift suggestion that are tailored to the unique needs of the hip, savvy Gawker demographic. They're after the jump, conveniently broken down by reader stereotype.

FOR GAYS:

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Gay marriage finger puppets make a great passive=aggressive gift for the children of your most intolerant relative.

FOR COKEHEADS WHO LOVE IRONY:

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Haha, it looks like a McDonald's coffee stirrer, but it's a gold coke spoon! Oooh, so many levels. This one shows your drug friends that you didn't go to art school for no reason.

FOR HATERS WHO LOVE TO HATE MARIO BATALI:

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Winding up little Mario and watching him walk blithely to his doom at the end of the tabletop will satisfy these giftees' twisted needs.

More to come as the holidays loom closer! And please feel free to send in suggestions.