Anyone have a handkerchief? What? Oh, nothing in particular — just the tearjerking phenomenon of seemingly intelligent people like Jake Tapper, Rachel Sklar, and Paul Carr spending so much time sharing so little on Twitter:

Jake Tapper, a.k.a. the Littlest Sam Donaldson, told the National Review that he's so so serious about reportorial objectivity that he doesn't vote. Which is funny because he once dated John McCain's flack!

Jake Tapper is a whiny blowhard and a useless hack with no abilities or principles beyond "getting Jake Tapper attention" and so now the conservatives are suddenly into him.

Hah, one guy got fooled by a lame April Fools' Joke: ABC's senior smugness correspondent Jake Tapper. He even forwarded a hoax story to his colleagues before he caught himself.

Ryan Seacrest's executive producer feared seeming fey, CNET's Natali Del Conte feared losing marbles, and Bob Woodruff feared he wouldn't be popular on Twitter. And if you read Twitter all day, you'd be afraid too:

Jake Tapper, the blog-happy ABC newshunk, has been accused of blocking his detractors on Twitter, a service which allows Internet commenters to pester you 140 characters at a time.

Barack Obama won the presidency by refusing to play into the tit-for-tat frenzy of the campaign news cycle. Now he should really show he's a grownup and axe the daily White House press briefing.

You can't win, White House press corps. Your frantic and stupid attempts—motivated by a misplaced sense of fair play—to pin down Barack Obama as a gaffe-prone president won't work. Here's why.

Why is Jake Tapper profiling Paul Rudd and talking about Bromance? Because he can and because there's not much happening on the White House beat these days anyway. Suck it, Chuck Todd!

Can you destroy — or cement — your professional reputation in 140 characters or less? On Twitter, it's easy! Watch and learn from ABC's Jake Tapper, ex-Wonkette Ana Marie Cox, VentureBeat's Eric Eldon and others:

The future's so bright for Twitterer Matt Cooper, he had to adjust his shades. Things looked darker for bullied gadget reviewer David Pogue, while CBS's Natali Del Conte got unwelcome stares at Starbucks. Today's tweets:

Rush Limbaugh: "Jake Tapper is the one guy that's outside of the butt boy bubble in the White House press room." Sucks for you, Jake! Keep trying. [Media Matters]

Our Wonky President could do just about anything, right? So no one blinked an eye when Barack Obama morphed into Henry Blodget and started spouting off about price-to-earnings ratios. In other words, buy stocks now!

Today in the magical land of Twitteronia: Jimmy Fallon schmoozed the Twitter-loving press, Ana Marie Cox cried because of Jake Tapper, and a tuna-melt experiment went badly awry.

People slated to write for Maer Roshan's new mag, Radar, include:
Jonathan van Meter, founding editor of Vibe; Jake Tapper, who wrote Down & Dirty for Little Brown about the Florida vote recount; Vanessa Grigoriadis, a contributing editor at New York; New Yorker contributor Mark Leyner; former Brill's Content media writer Katherine Rosman; and Toby Young, author of "How to Lose Friends and Alienate People." (Hmmm... Toby Young and Tina Brown contributing to the same magazine... Bets on how long before the first restraining order?)
Blender getting spun by numbers mix-up [Keith Kelly - Post]