As if these photos of Colin Powell cutting a rug—pursed lips conveying his boogie-woogie seriousness in one; hands-on-hips stance indicating he may be contemplating a hernia-inducing squat dance in another—weren't uncomfortable enough, now we have approximately 20 digital-video seconds of the former secretary of state grooving out to a Daft Punk song about staying up all night for the nookie. Also, included: Pharrell's croon, Katie Holmes Doing the Shoulders, and a full-club karaoke singalong. The Hamptons will embarrass you every time.

Former secretaries of state: They're just like us, right down to the emotional affairs with Romanian diplomats and the looking like dorks while dancing with your friends.

America adores Sandra Bullock. No matter how many bombs she lobs at our box offices, no matter how many hitchhikers she drops bloodied and bruised on our dusty country roads, no matter how many Canadian dimes she plops in our tip jars, America adores her. For her next trick, Sandra Bullock will be get drunk and scream at a 9-year-old orphan that nobody loves her. America's going to adore it.

Purveyor of celebrity-themed puns and hybrid creatures, street artist Hanksy has adorned Los Angeles with yet another creative cast of characters. As a sort of antithesis to the serious sanctimoniousness of some street art, Hanksy prefers to make jokes that involve Will Ferrell Cats or Nicolas Cage Against the Machine.

Jamie Foxx on the red carpet outside the Oscars, introducing his daughter to former Destiny's Child Kelly Rowland: "She's an Aquarius... like you." Lincoln? Jamie Foxx is linkin' right here! Zero Dark Thirty? More like Zero Dark Flirty! Argo? Argo home, Jamie Foxx, you're embarrassing your daughter.

Will Smith and Jada Pinkett enter a Ring Cycle of divorce rumors. Jane Lynch was a NyQuil addict. Miley Cyrus' weird goth brother knocks up a Disney star. Clark Gable's grandson is criminally annoying with a laser pointer. Wednesday gossip sleeps around.

A young woman who works in show business emailed 15 friends last week with a tale about meeting director Quentin Tarantino at a party. She made out with him, took sexy pictures in a photo booth, and watched him whip out his "short," "fat," "nub-like" penis. She then had foot fetish quasi-sex with him, she claims.

Tonight's American Idol results show—aside from the actual eliminations—was all about food, apparently! First, Fantasia performed "Collard Greens and Cornbread." Then, Jamie Foxx and will.i.am struggled through a rendition of "Hot Wings," from their upcoming film, Rio.

Disgust welled up in me the other night when watching the Golden Globes. When Robert De Niro walked on stage to accept his award I let out a groan. Man, do I hate him. And he's not the only actor.

Ashton Kutcher's maybe-mistress milks her 15 minutes. The Baldwin family Christmas will be argumentative. "Taylor Momsen offends Scottish crowd," but not for the reason you think. Tuesday gossip will soon be naked.

Jamie Foxx got on Lopez Tonight to talk proposition 19. Not in a constructive way, no, but about his pot habits and how the president must smoke pot, because he's always so smooth. Pot makes you smooth, kids! Video inside:

No one really knows, so one director, and possibly one actress, are endeavoring to find out. Also today: NBC orders two dubious sounding pilots, Matthew Weiner has a casting change for his first movie, and trouble in New Zealand.

We really should have gone to see Law Abiding Citizen! We really should have. Also today: Somehow a young filmmaker gets his shot, casting news for two Showtime shows, and renewal news for two TNT series.

The final four sang for their suppers last night and boy was it mediocre. Just really, really kinda OK. It had its high-ish points and its low-ish ones too, but mostly it was just extremely aight.

Ugh, Jamie Foxx. Ugh. He's just so... UGH. Anyway! Foxx was on American Idol tonight as this week's mentor, and he made sure to bring his smug asshattery with him. Inside, video of Foxx playing God and making everyone uncomfortable.

It's time for American Idol! Tonight, at 8:00 PM ET on FOX, your Top 4 will perform live for your votes. Jamie Foxx (ugh) will mentor and the finalists will perform songs from movies. More inside, plus your open thread.

In an interview in Details, openly gay singer-songwriter Rufus Wainwright says that he knows that 50 Cent is gay. How? Because Mr. Cent has a funny voice and Rufus wants him. Yeah, that's some very sound logic there.

In your touchy Tuesday media column: Shep Smith gets cunt-pranked, Miramax and MGM's death gets explained, David Shuster gets suspended, Liz Claman gets profiled (libtard), and Hearst gets three new editors.

Rather than give out a specific interesting/funny/whatever comment of the day award, we'll just redirect you to John Cook's look at the video of two Reuters journalists being shot in Iraq. Interesting conversation has already begun. Or...

After recent rumormongering by Howard Stern that implied that Jamie Foxx might be gay, the singing actor took to the radio to explain how straight he is. It has something to do with pizzas and showers.