There's some sort of lawsuit going on between Britney Spears and her ex-manager, Sam Lufti. Who can even know what it's about, but Lufti sure is throwing some crazy shit out there. First, he testified that Britney was probably smoking crystal meth. Then he claimed she shaved her head to avoid a drug test. Now he's saying Britney's father, Jamie Spears, once chased him around a kitchen, yelling and spitting, and later punched him in the stomach.

"Miserable" Britney seeks solace with a sleazy ex-boyfriend. Kim Kardashian has a new beau. Robert Pattinson "just took a shit on the Queen's face." (Sort of.) Lindsay Lohan's ex-assistant remains loyal. Thursday gossip will stab you in the back.

Steven Spielberg walking in SoHo ... Sarah Jessica Parker leaving her West Village townhouse ... Alec Baldwin filming scenes for 30 Rock at Tao ... Michael Kors walking near Bryant Park ... Hugh Grant having dinner last night at the Standard Grill ... Rihanna eating lunch at Da Silvano with her assistant ... Taylor Momsen hailing a cab with her mom in the West Village ... Blake Lively and Chace Crawford filming scenes for Gossip Girl in the meatpacking district and Hilary Duff exiting her trailer nearby ... Kevin Federline leaving lunch at Cafe Metro with girlfriend Victoria Prince ... Jamie Spears walking in Midtown ... Nia Long talking on her phone outside her hotel ... America Ferrera shooting scenes for Ugly Betty in Times Square ... and Courtney Love shopping with a friend in SoHo.

Blogs, Facebook, and Twitter were supposed to liberate famous people from old-media gatekeepers. But John Mayer, Courtney Love, and others are teaching us that public figures are terrible at shaping their own image.

It takes just one crack about Britney Spears's vagina's "razor-sharp teeth" on her official Twitter feed — a juvenile stunt by a hacker — and her entire social media operation is thrown into disarray.

If there's anything Britney Spears needs right now, it's a reminder that everyone close to the pop star relies on her for their own financial well-being. But how lucrative is it to be her sponge?

• Lindsay Lohan is either converting to Judaism for Samantha Ronson, Ivanka Trump style, or about to leave her for a man.

In a touching coda to Father's Day, Britney Spears' father, Jamie, has petitioned the court to pay him for taking care of her. A real-life example of Chapter 5 of the Spears family parenting book, Their Personal Tragedy, Your Meal Ticket, Daddy Spears explained to the court exactly why he's owed $2500 a week for living with his daughter. The proud Papa was already awarded the weekly salary — plus money to lease a car — back in March. But that still left a month of pro bono parenting.

There’s nothing better than returning from a long weekend to discover not one but two incredibly positive stories about Britney Spears. Not only has the singer finally managed to make a public appearance looking downright hot, but she’s also begun dating a very eligible, scandal-free bachelor — William Morris agent Jason Trawick. As you may recall, Trawick was the mystery man splashing around Mel Gibson’s Costa Rica retreat with Britney last week, and reportedly has been looking after Britney ever since the beginning of her American Tragedy downfall. As a source tells OK!, “Britney totally trusts him and she has very deep feelings for him. It’s now got to the point where Britney wants to be with him full time.” And after seeing these pictures of the pair, who went public at an Ed Hardy party over the weekend, we can’t help but notice a very sober-looking Britney appearing genuinely happy for the first time in...ever:

According to reports in everyone's favorite trusted supermarket tabloid, Britney Spears is allegedly deep in planning mode for Comeback #487. Sources tell the National Enquirer that Spears is shelling out up to $10 million on what sounds like a very tasteful, classy-by-way-of-Louisiana string of song-and-dance shows at The Palms, one of K. Fed's favorite places to sink into debt play the big baller. Where Spears is coming up with all this cash, considering most of her dough is currently going towards her father's daily rate for babysitting, is still a mystery. But based on the description of her latest plan to "jump-start her career," we're not so sure these shows will do much aside from force us to remember Britney Spears Comebacks number 1 through 486:

Jennifer Aniston did it first, quickly followed by Blake Lively. Now Britney Spears has pulled out this spring’s most reliable accessory to nab a boy toy: the bikini. While sobering up at Casa Gibson down in Costa Rica, Spears spent the weekend looking happier than she has in months in two very itty bitty string bikinis adorned with tattoo parlor jargon. And in between bouts of boogie-boarding, golf cart-riding and rounds of Hide-and-Seek played amidst driftwood, Spears appeared to have successfully lined up a male suitor of her own. Who the mystery man might be, and a closer look at Spears' ongoing tendency to block her possibly-knocked up belly from sight, after the jump.

Back in March, we heard Malibu’s own Ken and Barbie, Mel Gibson and Britney Spears, were aligning their forces of stupidity for the greater good. But it was tough to figure out whether or not they were on a date or set to co-produce a new film starring each and every one of their split personalities. But thanks to recent reports, it sounds as though the partnership was neither love- or business-bound. They’re just two confused drunks trying to stay clean together! Master of sobriety Mel recently flew both Britney and her owner, father Jamie Spears, down for a vacation at his Costa Rican clam shack for some R&R. But why now? And more importantly, why does Britney keep hiding her newly rotund tummy from the paparazzi?

Baby showers tend to be happy, innocuous gatherings dabbled with smiley supportive friends, gushing family members and the occasional guest who clearly doesn't want to be there. But when Juno Lynn Spears throws a big ol' baby party down in sweet home Louisiana, party guests also include armed guards and security detail. Why? Well, big sis Britney came to town, bringing her best pair of booty shorts and that memorable messy blonde bun from her barefoot bathroom escapade days along. The rest of the guest list, including which family member was noticeably missing, after the jump.

Not a day goes by without a dozen blind items stirring up rumors about the newest Hollywood heroin addict or closeted anchor with sex swings in his office, but there is one very rare kind of bold face name-less rumor that catches our eye. And it has to do with "celebrity dads," "piercings," and "nether regions." As the NY Post Just Asks this morning: