• Lindsay Lohan is either converting to Judaism for Samantha Ronson, Ivanka Trump style, or about to leave her for a man.
  • Frances Bean Cobain, 15, goes to pilates with her caretaker, who is the ex-wife of Flea from the Red Hot Chili Peppers. I had no idea about any of that. [P6]
  • Rumer Willis, cruelly-named daughter of Bruce, was often compared looks-wise to Jay Leno, and also called "Rumer the Tumor" in school. But now she's on the People 100 Most Beautiful list, which one would hope helps with the self-esteem and so forth. [P6]
  • Paris Hilton crossed this Scottish singer, standing on a chair that had the singer's posse's coats and bags and so forth. So the singer spit some drink on her with a straw. Then the catfight started, involving statements like "I'm going to kill you." (The Scottish singer is now to be knighted.) [Sun]
  • Jamie Spears on daughter Britney: "She sometimes calls me 50 times a day and asks me things that light my life up. But, like all daughters, she is very manipulative and cunning. So she gets what she wants a lot." [OK!]
  • Madonna blew up at Britney Spears. Also, she's not turning 50, she's turning 36, because Kaballah says so.
  • If you grab Amy Winehouse, you get what you deserve. [Sun]