Portlandia is back for its fifth season which means more Jeff Goldblum!!!! And a laundry list of other celebrity cameos, based on a new trailer released today.

Bethenny drifts for 20 hours with no land in sight. Lea Michele is single. Lindsay Lohan's "shady" hotel rendezvous photographed. Entourage guy says he didn't turn Jane Lynch gay. Tuesday gossip is afraid of water.

Just like the weekend, the 63rd Primetime Emmys are history. This year's telecast was hosted by Glee's Jane Lynch and aired live on Fox from the Nokia Theater in Los Angeles. Despite Alec Baldwin's last-minute pullout, pretty much every small screen star showed up to celebrate television's biggest night.

Wow, those Emmys sure were a stinker, weren't they? Not only did they fall into the same old Emmys trap of giving the same awards to the same people, but the show itself was a complete dud. It was slow and dated and every opportunity for excitement landed with a great thud.

The Jane Lynch-hosted 63rd Annual Emmys are underway in Los Angeles. Early in the broadcast, Ricky Gervais poked fun at his controversial turn as Golden Globes host and introduced the nominees for Best Supporting Actor in a Comedy in a pre-recorded, heavily edited video. Lynch then announced the winner on Gervais' behalf, but not before playing armchair psychologist: "Poor little Ricky Gervais. Someone didn't get enough hugs from mommy and somehow it's Hollywood's fault."

Hey everyone, why sit there and slog through television's biggest night on your own when you can enjoy it with the wit and humor of a bunch of strangers on the internet! Jump into the conversation about the 63rd Annual Prime Time Emmy Awards here, and we'll make fun of the celebs, celebrate victories, and just generally talk smack about everything until the show is over.

Megan Fox reassures the world that she is neither robot nor android. Underlings must "turn their faces to a wall" when Madonna walks by. Jane Lynch started smoking at the age of 12. Demi Moore tweets a "topless" picture. Tuesday gossip is practicing human emotions.

Now the cast of Glee has gone and enlisted David Bowie in its quest to ruin Fashion's Night Out, Anna Wintour's fake charity. Their first act as spokespeople for FNO is this video for Bowie's classic "Fashion." I wish I could hate it.

Will Smith and Jada Pinkett enter a Ring Cycle of divorce rumors. Jane Lynch was a NyQuil addict. Miley Cyrus' weird goth brother knocks up a Disney star. Clark Gable's grandson is criminally annoying with a laser pointer. Wednesday gossip sleeps around.

Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez crash a wedding. Khloe Kardashian's husband mauls a pedestrian. Rachel Uchitel loses $10 million. Nikki Blonsky is the saddest washed-up celebrity in America. Monday gossip is the stuff of legend.

After confessing on Monday that he tweeted a picture of his penis, Anthony Weiner's online dirty laundry quickly piled up. And on tonight's Real Time, Bill Maher and Jane Lynch gave one such piece of it—Weiner's X-rated Facebook exchanges with Vegas blackjack dealer Lisa Weiss—the dramatic reading it deserved. The video (which contains strong language, obviously) is above.

In all the hustle and bustle of games of hunger and thrones and superhero adventures, we have forgotten our deeply held romantic passion. And that is a shame. Also today: Josh Lucas is the new Tom Cruise, the return of Tarzan, and a sweet gig for Jane Lynch.

The ravenous MTV network, always hungry for sweet teen blood, has found its next victims. Also today: Fox rules and other networks drool, Matthew Modine is rescued from oblivion, and Kevin Costner is headed into it.

At an Oscar party Jane smelled marijuana, somehow the rumor got spread that it was hers. Jane is actually writing a book about being sober so she decided it was a good time to clear the air with Jay Leno.

Check out this video Slate put together of what a therapy session between Charlie Sheen and Jane Lynch would be like by dubbing some of Charlie's recent interviews over footage from Two and a Half Men.

Justin Bieber, a Furbie toy given the ability to sing, held the LA premiere for his 3D concert movie Never Say Never last night. The red carpet was even uglier than usual. Let's take a look at all the atrocities unleashed by The Biebz.

Here's your daily dose of "Things That Make Obama Super Cool." Upon meeting Jane Lynch, it took him a second, but he recalled her face from her role as Steve Carrell's horny manager in 40 Year Old Virgin.

On a whole different planet or something! Say your goodbyes now, Team Jacob. Also today: Peter Parker sees the face of his enemy, old people are fighting in public, and Don Cheadle gets something he deserves for once.

By the power vested in me by a website I hereby bring you tonight's Gleecap. Complete with a Nazi hunting Carol Burnett, Sue Sylvester in a wedding dress, and the social event of the suburban Ohio season, the Hummel Wedding!

Ahhh, an homage to Rocky Horror. As if there was any other way for Glee to celebrate Halloween? Adam Shankman (the same guy who did the Step Up movies) smacked this baby into the world. And it was good.