For those of you whose DVRs lack the capacity to capture all of the action from tonight's much-ballyhooed Return Of The Late Night Talk Shows, we've got you covered: In just a few short hours, we'll be posting clips from the monologues of each host frog-marched before the cameras—even Craig Ferguson, probably!—to see how each handles the delicate matter of explaining to America why they're back at work while their writers are still outside on the picket line without actually using the words, "The network threatened to execute every below-the-line employee if I didn't come back tonight." (Or in the case of Letterman and Ferguson, we'll look at how they show off the competitive advantage that cutting a deal with the WGA affords them.) See you then for what promises to be a magically awkward evening! [Bearded Letterman photo: AP]

As a series of disconcertingly giddy commercials running roughly every five minutes on NBC have undoubtedly already informed you, Jay Leno and Conan O'Brien return to work Wednesday night without their striking writing staffs, kicking off a sure-to-be diverting run of pathetically crippled late-night fare that will provide all the cringeworthy moments the trainwreck-loving viewing public can handle. (Defamer videographer Molly McAleer has just returned from the picket line outside The Tonight's Show's Burbank studio, where she polled marching WGA members on their feelings about Leno's line-crossing. Preview of our upcoming video: They're not thrilled!)

A press release brings at least a glimmer of end-of-year good news to the otherwise moribund state of writers strike affairs: Worldwide Pants, which sought to reach an independent deal with the WGA that would allow both their late night talk shows to return to the airwaves with a full roster of Guild-approved Top Ten lists, Know Your Current Events questions, and whatever it is they do on The Late Late Show, has successfully negotiated an agreement with their writers' union:

Perhaps wounded that some disgruntled, newly laid-off Tonight Show staffers anonymously griped that their early-bonus-proferring boss had failed to equal the generosity of peers like eventual successor Conan O'Brien, who'd previously pledged to financially support every last self-abusing bear and incontinent, bolt-excreting robot on his payroll during the writers strike, host Jay Leno has decided to join the compassionate ranks of late night TV saviors by covering his employees' salaries on a week-to-week basis. Christmas is saved!

Though they did last a little longer than the mid-November date initially threatened by NBC, about 120 staffers at The Tonight Show were laid off today. On the bright side, the freshly pinkslipped employees were handed early Christmas bonus checks courtesy of Jay Leno; still, at least one disappointed now-former employee found themselves wishing they worked for Conan Claus instead: "We haven't heard from him since the second or third day of the strike. He called on speakerphone while we were in our daily meeting and said, 'Don't look for other jobs, no one's going to lose their house, we'll get though this.' Two weeks ago, we got the heads up that we had two more weeks (of pay) and that's it. Everyone wondered, 'Is Jay going to come through?' And nothing happened. Conan makes less and he said, 'I'm going to pay for my people.' " [Scribe Vibe/Photo: Franklin Ave]

David Letterman, Jay Leno and Conan O'Brien could be back on TV before Hollywood writers end their strike, Variety reports. Writers are striking over how much they should be compensated for content distributed over the Internet and on DVDs, but producers for the three late night shows are in secret talks to bring back their own scribes before the strike ends. That could be a serious blow to the writers' cause. So far, late-night reruns are the only sign for most television viewers that anything's going on at all. Producers won't run out of sitcom and drama scripts until January.

The nonwriting staff of The Tonight Show has been told that they will be laid off at the end of next week, an announcement sure to send host Jay Leno's compassionate Krispy Kreme expenditures soaring. But hope remains that they could be back on the job shortly: If they can find guests hosts (Andy Dick? NBCU boss Jeff Zucker? The ghost of Jack Paar?) willing to cross the picket line—Leno has so far refused to do so, having previously acknowledged he'd be like a crippled, unfunny lamb led to the talk-show slaughter without his writers—people could be back on the job November 19th. [B&C/Photo:Franklin Ave]

While Jay Leno's gift of Krispy Kremes (and his accompanying public declaration that "without them I'm not funny. I'm a dead man without them.") to the writers striking outside NBC's headquarters this morning probably seemed a warm expression of solidarity at the time, the bar for talk-show host generosity was quickly set a little bit higher by a beloved peer. Tomorrow, if Leno shows up with only another three boxes of the treats as a show of support, he may to endure the passive-aggressive grumbling of an underwhelmed picketer claiming, "I heard that Jon Stewart brought his writers donuts filled with hundred-dollar bills yesterday. Isn't he on basic cable? Any-way, these Boston Cremes are just as delicious. MMMMmm, yum!" [Franklin Ave]

Perhaps hoping to avert an ugly incident in which obsolescent Tonight Show host Jay Leno makes a last-ditch effort to save his job by chaining himself to his desk while wrecking balls emblazoned with a cheerful peacock logo demolish his beloved Burbank studio, NBC Universal boss Jeff Zucker reasserted yesterday that the show will be handed over to Conan O'Brien as planned, recent intimations that Leno isn't quite ready for early retirement notwithstanding:

Curbed LA directs us to the official web presence introducing NBC Universal's planned Metro Studio@Lankershim in Universal City, the facility to which the company hopes to relocate its local network news operations, its West Coast news headquarters, and, perhaps most excitingly, Access Hollywood—as you can see from the handsome rendering of the space, the studio's windows will provide an exhilarating, Today Show-style view of NBC employees waving "WE LOVE YOU BILLY BUSH!" signs as the wildly popular host recaps Eva Longoria's latest trip to Robertson Blvd.

• The Tonight Show: Fred Thompson running for President [YouTube]

According to Hollywood Today, NBC Universal has tossed Desperate Housewives from its primary soundstage on the Universal lot, which they plan to convert into a new theater and office building that may or may not eventually house The Tonight Show. Apparently, anointed Jay Leno successor Conan O'Brien was touring the potential facilities yesterday, trying to ignore the anguished wailing of Teri Hatcher, whom the Housewives had "mistakenly" left behind after she handcuffed herself to a catwalk in protest of the unwelcome move. Reports HT on the shuffle:

PrivacyWatch celebrity sightings are submitted by our readers, and are posted several times a week, so send them in often. Submit yours to tips[AT]defamer.com (please put "sighting" or "PrivacyWatch" in the subject line) and tell everyone about the time you spotted Bradford Family patriarch Dick Van Patten killing some time at a Starbucks in the Valley.

Jeff Zucker meets with Jon Stewart in case NBC sticks with Jay Leno and Conan O'Brien bolts the network, possibly to replace David Letterman or Jimmy Kimmel. Got it? [B&C]

PrivacyWatch celebrity sightings are submitted by our readers, and are posted several times a week, so send them often—but please pull over if you plan on Blackberrying them from the road. Submit yours to tips[AT]defamer.com (please put "sighting" or "PrivacyWatch" in the subject line) and let everyone know about the time you saw David "Dookie Drawers" Spade having brunch.

We really don't have it in us to list the brutal and tragic circumstances surrounding stand-up Richard Jeni's death Saturday, so we'll let CNN.com's Story Hightlights box do the depressing work for us. Jeni's official bio lists the comedian as holding the record for most appearances on The Tonight Show, making Jay Leno the most obvious choice for Extra to turn to for the comforting sentiments we all search for after a beloved, veteran entertainer's sudden, violent death:

Preternaturally unfunny talk show host Jay Leno and keeper of the sing-songy one-liner, Rita Rudner, have both filed a lawsuit against an author who has reprinted hundreds of the performers' jokes—many of which were quite possibly written by the comedians themselves!—in a series of joke compendiums currently designated as required reading for scores of "Death of Humor" college seminars across the country:

Rapper Snoop Dogg's ongoing research-gathering mission into the inner workings of the LA criminal justice system returns to the scene of the crime (the Oct. 26 crime, to be exact, when he was arrested for possession of guns and weed at the Burbank airport, not to be confused with his Sept. 27 arrest at the Santa Ana airport for carrying a "deadly weapon"), when officers descended on the rapper as he left the NBC studios parking lot after an appearance on The Tonight Show:

PrivacyWatch celebrity sightings are submitted by our readers, and are now posted several times a week—so start sending them in more often. Address yours to tips[AT]defamer.com (please put "sighting" or "PrivacyWatch" in the subject line) and let the world hear all about the time you saw Lando Calrissian light up the produce section with his 100-watt smile.

• COINSLOTGATE: Did Lohan Use A Crack-Double? [Defamer]