Kris Humphries hired a divorce lawyer, so it looks like the Kardashian wedding is finally over! But was it ever "real"? Meanwhile, Angelina and Brad hit up Vietnam. Saturday gossip is letting steak sauce drip down its chin.
Angelina seeks the "coup de grace" of Aniston life-destroying. Blake Lively moves in with Leo DiCaprio. Lil' Bow Wow has a secret daughter. Elisabetta Canalis bounces back from George. Thursday gossip is a stone-cold assassin of hearts.
Everyone's favorite Adonis has left Two and a Half Men, leaving the show in search of the perfect replacement. Jerry O'Connell may be the man for the job. On Lopez Tonight, he addressed the rumors and showed his "audition tape."
Don't you think? Isn't it just such a grand a idea? Also today: You guys are all watching terrible TV, the next Twilight movie has a super random cast of vampires, and some misleading news about Sinbad.
To prove she is a natural human, an aging actress must post flawed pictures online. Montana Fishburne faces criminal charges for beating up her boyfriend's ex. Kelsey Grammer's flight attendant girlfriend is pregnant. Thursday gossip contains the circle of life.
• Olympic swimmer Michael Phelps got into a car accident in Baltimore last night, but there were no serious injuries reported. [NYDN]
• The father of Khloe Kardashian's baby is her on-again, off-again boyfriend, Scott Disick. She was hoping to keep the info a secret to get people to tune into her upcoming reality show, but then her sister Kim ruined the surprise. [P6]
• Don't be surprised if you hear Mischa Barton's checked herself into the hospital again. She's been out, oh, two weeks now and the British tabloids are focusing on all the cellulite she has, poor thing. [DM]
• Heidi Pratt says she has "20-30 orgasms per day" with husband Spencer Pratt. Could this be because she experiences what she thinks is an orgasm every time she sees her name appear in tabloid or gossip outlet? Just an idea. [P6]
Paris Hilton turns 28 today. Basketball legend Michael Jordan turns 46. Rene Russo is 55. Denise Richards is turning 38. Director Michael Bay is 44. Jerry O'Connell is celebrating his 35th. Green Day frontman Billie Joe Armstrong is 37. Record exec Jason Flom is turning 48. Literary agent Susan Golomb is 49. And Daniel Lawrence Whitney, better known as "Larry the Cable Guy," is 46.
• Madonna's interest in Alex Rodriguez appears may have waned (she's been spotted with a young Brazilian model in recent weeks), but there's another rich, older, equally Kaballah-obsessed woman happy to take her place. At a New Year's party in Parrot Cay last week, Donna Karan seemed smitten with the slugger, although A-Rod "refused Karan's advances" since he's "still hung up on Madonna." [P6]
• Not only are most people on Mustique happy the Noel family stayed off the island this year, but a bar even created a "No Noel" cocktail to celebrate. [P6]
• Lindsay Lohan says on her MySpace blog that she and Samantha Ronson have not broken up, just in case you've been up all night worrying. [People]
• Officials in the Bahamas have completed an autopsy on John Travolta's son, Jett, and claim the death was caused by a seizure. [CBS, NYP]
After a couple of stellar installments spotlighting Kim Kardashian's bad driving and Ryan Gosling's puke aversions, we've been experiencing a bit of a drought on the PrivacyWatch front. And as much as we appreciate this week's contributions — from Sharon Stone's grocery adventures to Nick Nolte's post-traumatic mocha therapy — we have to say: We are thisclose to discontinuing this feature unless we get some motherfucking sightings up on this motherfucking plane. So! For what we hope isn't the last time: Hollywood PrivacyWatch is produced by Defamer readers for Defamer readers, so keep sending us your tips with "PrivacyWatch" "or "sightings" in the subject line. There's no "u" in "surveillance" for nothing. Meanwhile, in addition to Ms. Stone and Mr. Nolte, this installment includes Miley Cyrus, Elijah Wood, Jerry O' Connell, Mario Lopez, Tom Cavanagh, Hank Azaria, Milo Ventimiglia, Joel Madden, and more. Onward!Thursday, Oct. 9 · Rock N' Roll Ralphs on the late night. A sour-faced MILO VENTIMIGLIA enters looking ever the dick in a white shirt and black slacks. This guy is miniscule. I don't know if that's why he was pissed off or what. Maybe his First Communion rehearsal didn't go so well. Wednesday, Oct. 8 · This was taken today, the day after his fire, NICK NOLTE at Starbucks in malibu. Looking actually in very good spirits. he was with the guy in the tank top.
Vacancy: Just days after the creators of Do Not Disturb sent out a letter to TV critics apologizing for “being the perpetrators of such bad television,” their show has become the fall season's first cancellation. According to EW's Michael Ausiello, the Jerry O'Connell sitcom (which aired only three episodes) will be replaced by reruns of 'Til Death. Elsewhere on the dial, Ben Silverman pet project Knight Rider premiered third in its time slot despite having the highest viewer awareness of any new NBC show. Perhaps audiences realized that KITT is kind of a bitch? [EW]
♦ You'd think that for $85,000-a-month, you might shell out a few extra few bucks on a maid. Apparently not. According to the Star, there's no one cleaning up after Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie's kids, and their French chateau is a complete pigsty that "looks like a war zone." [Star]
♦ Jennifer Lopez raised $127,000 for charity by competing in the Malibu triathalon. She then flew directly to New York and spent $800,000 on Marc Anthony's birthday party. [MSNBC]
♦ According to the always reliable Joe Francis, Lindsay Lohan is straight. [E!]
♦ Lindsay: Please don't discuss how you're supporting Barack in November. You're embarrassing him. [NYDN]
If someone says to you, "Quick, name a modern-day equivalent of the exiled Jacobite Scottish noble Bonnie Prince Charlie," nobody would blame you for blurting out, "Jerry O'Connell, the B-actor who got his start in the 1986 coming-of-age tale Stand By Me." That's exactly what the people at Drambuie liqueur thought, too. So they signed up O'Connell, one of the five most famous actors to appear in Jerry Maguire, to add a little star power to the 2008 "Drambuie Pursuit Competition," which will have him racing across 100 miles of harsh terrain in the Scottish highlands, retracing the ancient steps of a fleeing Bonnie Prince Charlie—who legendarily held the secret Drambuie recipe, dummy! Hard to parse the intricate branding strategies in all this, but we think the message is: Jerry O'Connell is a drunk. Below, the choicest fabricated quotes from the press release, and a bonus clip of O'Connell's impression of Tom Cruise's Scientology video—one of his career highlights.
· Paramount breaks the hearts of the millions of Trekkies who thought they'd be spending Christmas at the multiplex with Kirk, Spock and Uhura, delaying their J.J. Abrams directed Star Trek from this December 25 until May 8, 2009 in hopes that they can wring more money from the franchise during the summer blockbuster season. Also, DreamWorks is moving Ben Stiller's Tropic Thunder from this July 11 to August 15, a change that Stiller's fans will endure without complaint. [Variety]
· We knew that Tom Cruise parody video was going to put some sizzle back into his career: Jerry O'Connell joins the cast of indie romantic comedy Baby on Board, which will also includes Heather Graham, John Corbett and Ian Ziering. [THR]
