Reese Witherspoon gives an ad hoc seminar on safe sexting. Jennifer Aniston launches a PDA offensive with yet another male co-star. Kim Kardashian has wedding dress drama. Pippa Middleton never sweats. Monday gossip has sex tape remorse.

A "pal" says Kim Kardashian is pregnant, but the fetus is still smaller than her engagement ring. Blake Lively embraces DiCaprio and denies naked pictures. Kim Zolciak gives birth. Wednesday gossip is spawning.

Lindsay Lohan hyperventilates and calls the paparazzi "animals." Someone is selling a sex tape of Usher. Charlie Sheen misses his son's birthday party. Britney Spears reunites with K-Fed at her son's baseball game. Monday gossip sucks and blows.

• At the Nerd BBQ fest South by Southwest, some guy tried to take Jake Gyllenhaal's picture at the premier of his nerd thriller Source Code… while he was in the bathroom peeing. Ew, guy! Jake confronted the guy, who eventually deleted it. And of course, it being South By Southwest, the whole ordeal was live-tweeted: Wrote one guy: "Gyllenhaal apparently grabbed the dude mid-photo, threw him against the wall and was like, ‘are we really gonna do this right now?'" Clearly, Jake needs to take a lesson in transparency from James Franco, just tweets pictures of his (maybe) penis before anyone else has a chance to. [HollywoodNews]

Charlie Sheen has a nice meal while the LAPD searches his house for firearms. Ashlee Simpson rebounds with her husband's friend. Monica Lewinsky is "still in love" with Bill. TGIFriday gossip.

Well, it finally happened: Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel, together since 2007 are finito. A source told PEOPLE "there are no hard feelings. It was completely mutual and they both decided it was time to move on."

At long last young twentysomethings are getting a work of art all about them. Naturally MTV is the network to bravely take up the mantle. Also today: some truly scary movie casting, some somewhat less scary TV casting, and a discussion of the work of Chris Columbus.

Everyone has them: the actress who appears on screen and immediately creates a feeling of repulsion. You hate her vehemently, but can't explain why. Which actress tops your list, and just why does this phenomenon exist?

They're not going to be a couple or anything, but they will both be in New Year's Eve. Also today: some exciting news items for the nerdy among us and AMC orders a new show, as does Nickelodeon.

As expected, the second Toy Story sequel trampled the rest of the competition this weekend, leaving one new movie so far in the dust that it's hardly recognizable. But if you squint, you can make it out. It's Megan Fox.

[Jessica Biel outside the Ralph Lauren restaurant in gay Paris; image via Splash]

We were far too busy watching the season finale of Nurse Jackie to attend the Council of Fashion Designers of America Awards last night at Lincoln Center. But fictional freelancer Betsey Morgenstern was there taking plenty of notes!

People like Kellan Lutz, Channing Tatum, and Jessica Biel are going places. Also today: a new MTV show sounds frustrating, you'll have to wait a while for Simon Cowell news, and TBS figures some stuff out.

An "intuitive psychic" healer named Aiden is her new manager. James Brown's body goes missing from its crypt. Socialite shocked to discover racism, anti-semitism, homophobia make you unpopular. Corey Haim died of a too-big heart. Friday gossip is so alone.

The Academy Awards have become more about the clothes and less about the awards themselves. Too bad all the ensembles are bland creations some stylist picked out. It's time to free ourselves from the tyranny of the Worst Dressed List!

This week a story about a mysterious island near Boston where a bunch of pale white people spend their time was the number one film. No, it's not about Martha's Vineyard! It's about Shutter Island.

Wedding bells for the stylishly disheveled; Lady Gaga wears a black leotard to mourn McQueen; James Cameron works on Avatar's prequel novel; Prince William sports "suspicious" hair; Gummy Bear gets evicted. Tuesday gossip has two weddings and a funeral.

Katie Holmes and Suri walking in the snow yesterday ... Kate Bosworth waiting for a cab outside the Bowery Hotel ... Ed Westwick and Jessica Szohr walking hand in hand downtown ... Jessica Biel arriving at ABC studios for an appearance on Good Morning America along with Jennifer Garner ... Taylor Momsen walking to her trailer on the Gossip Girl set ... Lake Bell leaving the Bowery Hotel ... and Ashley Olsen getting out of an SUV in front of Cipriani 42nd Street.

So: E!'s running this story today about Justin Timberlake accepting Harvard's Man of the Year award—called the Hasty Pudding award, apparently—and it appears to be part of some joyously homoerotic Ivy League ritual of fun. It looks awesome.

• Remember the dust-up a couple of weeks ago when it was reported that Beyoncé had performed for the son of Libyan dictator Moammar Khadafi in St. Bart's on New Year's Eve? Photos of the concert have now surfaced, although the worst thing about them may be how Beyoncé looks like she's the headliner at a tacky club in New Jersey. [DM]
• Is Bethenny Frankel trying to pull a Star Jones? It seems Frankel has been approaching vendors and asking them to "sponsor" her wedding: She'd get their services gratis and, in exchange, they'd get a mention on her upcoming reality show, Bethenny's Getting Married. The only problem with Bethenny's grand scheme? She hasn't had much luck finding companies interested in taking part. [NYDN]
• Here's a great idea: David Letterman has reportedly invited Conan O'Brien to appear as a guest on his show. Cross your fingers! [PopEater]
• Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel have not broken up, in case you were concerned. According to friends, he'd committed to working on a film in Wyoming, which is is why he didn't climb Mt. Kilimanjaro alongside Biel. It's not because he didn't want to, say, spend a week living with the love of his life in a tent. He would have totally done it if he could have. Really. [P6]
• Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie donated $1 million yesterday to Doctors Without Borders to fund emergency medical operations in Haiti. As for whether Tiger Woods really paid to send a plane full of medical supplies to the devastated nation, that's a (pretty unlikely) story that Russell Simmons has been circulating, though Tiger's reps have yet to confirm it. But it wouldn't be the worst way to begin rebuilding his image, come to think of it. [Us, TMZ]