Seth MacFarlane, creator of "We Saw Your Boobs," hit a piano bar in Milwaukee Saturday night and inevitably ended up on stage, singing and drinking. (The traditional "no drinks on the piano" rule does not apply to Seth MacFarlane.)

How was your Memorial Day weekend? Hopefully great. Hopefully a Memorial Day weekend you will never forget. Us Weekly reports that humble Christmas tree farmer Taylor Swift passed the weekend in the State of Rhode Island and Providence Plantations, where she recently purchased a sprawling $17M beachfront mansion filled to the brim with tasteful striped fabrics and whispers and ghosts. A couple weeks ago, a man from Illinois was arrested after allegedly swimming up to the mansion while Taylor Swift wasn't there, but he was not invited to Memorial Day. She was joined by Hailee Steinfeld, the 16-year-old who played a 14-year-old girl in True Grit, and Gossip Girl's Jessica Szohr, who spent the weekend getting cut out of paparazzi photos of Taylor Swift and Hailee Steinfeld.

While Christina Aguilera does star-spangled damage control, her handlers fret about alcoholism. Lindsay Lohan's felony grand theft charge looms. Jessica Szohr may be dating the Packers' quarterback. Monday gossip streams o'er the land of the brave.

[Jessica Szohr blends into the background at the debut of her SoBe "skinsuit" ad, for which she posed naked in bodypaint. See the actress stand awkwardly next to a picture of herself naked, after the jump.]

Jessica Szohr stopped by Regis and Kelly this morning to promote her upcoming movie Piranha 3D. The premise of the film baffles poor old Regis and his very limited understanding of modern technology.

Oksana and Mel's troubles began at an Australian placenta ceremony. Lawyers bug Lindsay Lohan to testify about her strip search. Zac Efron blows $2000 on booze and strippers. Heidi Montag is missing. Wednesday gossip is a hot mess.

Katy Perry tamed a sex addict. Stephanie Pratt might be coming to New York. Hottie soccer star Cristiano Ronaldo has a love child. Lady Gaga only wants your attention. Monday's Gossip Roundup is a three-day weekend of gossip things

We were too busy trying to find something to watch on TV to actually attend the Sex and the City 2 premiere. Luckily fictional freelancer Betsey Morgenstern went in our stead. Here is her adventure.

The Avatar star insists James Cameron lost because he's not a woman. Sandy B met one of Jesse's girls. A real life Gossip Girl couple breaks up. A real life Jersey Shore couple fights. Tuesday's gossip wins by technical knockout.

Ed Westwick dumps Jessica Szohr over a dramatic jetsetting affair. Lindsay Lohan's new stepmother used to be her assistant, and even Dina thinks it's "incestuous." Whitney Houston wasn't snorting coke, she has allergies. XOXO, Thursday Gossip Roundup.

[Gossip Girl's Jessica Szohr and friends at the tents yesterday; image via Splash]

Joe Francis' tax problems: no more. The Giuliani's make their migration nest nice. Brad Pitt's pot policies. The Eternal Sunshine of Tiger Woods' penis doesn't last. People cares about Michael Jackson's kids. Presenting your Valentine's Day Morning Gossip Roundup:

Katie Holmes and Suri walking in the snow yesterday ... Kate Bosworth waiting for a cab outside the Bowery Hotel ... Ed Westwick and Jessica Szohr walking hand in hand downtown ... Jessica Biel arriving at ABC studios for an appearance on Good Morning America along with Jennifer Garner ... Taylor Momsen walking to her trailer on the Gossip Girl set ... Lake Bell leaving the Bowery Hotel ... and Ashley Olsen getting out of an SUV in front of Cipriani 42nd Street.

Sarah Silverman unleashes the rage of a thousand indignant female fans on an ex-boyfriend. Brangelina sues News of the World for the break-up rumor. I hereby nominate Kevin Federline to date Kate Gosselin. Tuesday gossip just wants to be loved.

John McEnroe jogging on Central Park West ... Peter Dinklage walking his dog in the West Village ... Madonna arriving at JFK ... Keri Russell carrying son River downtown ... John Lithgow leaving his apartment ... Jessica Szohr on the set of Gossip Girl in Brooklyn ... Ashlee Simpson arriving at the Ambassador Theater for a performance of Chicago ... and Jersey Shore's J-Woww posing for photos inside GLO nightclub on Long Island.

Naomi Watts handing over some spare change to a panhandler ... Mischa Barton walking her dog ... America Ferrera walking to her trailer on the set of Ugly Betty ... Tori Spelling and Dean McDermott leaving ABC studios in Times Square ... Sarah Jessica Parker walking in the Village ... Mariska Hargitay filming scenes for Law & Order: SVU ... Pete Wentz eating pizza with son Bronx ... Jessica Szohr on the set of Gossip Girl ... Star Trek's Zachary Quinto talking on his cell phone in the West Village ... and Julianne Moore walking downtown.

Jennifer Connelly and Paul Bettany walking with their kids and dog in the West Village ... Uma Thurman leaving her townhouse in the Village ... Katie Couric walking uptown ... Jeff Bridges leaving his hotel in Midtown ... Jessica Szohr filming scenes for Gossip Girl on the Upper East Side ... Matthew Broderick walking son James to school ... and George Clooney and girlfriend Elisabetta Canalis heading into Crimson after making an appearance at the New York Film Critics Circle Awards.

Arpad "Arki" Busson sneaking out of ex-fiancée Uma Thurman's Village townhouse yesterday, shortly before Thurman made her exit as well ... Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie running errands in Midtown during the day and heading into Alto on Madison Avenue for dinner ... Catherine Zeta-Jones leaving her apartment building ... Kelly Ripa getting in a cab with her son ... Kathy Griffin shooting scenes for Law & Order: SVU with Christopher Meloni and Mariska Hargitay ... Jessica Szohr walking to the set of Gossip Girl at Silvercup Studios in Queens ... Jessica and Ashlee Simpson going to dinner last night ... Katharine McPhee arriving at her hotel ... and Jersey Shore's Snooki and J-Woww posing for pics in the Flatiron District.

John Krasinski and Emily Blunt hailing a cab around in Chelsea ... Cynthia Nixon running a few errands over the weekend ... Kate Hudson leaving her townhouse with her son Ryder and later walking with a cup of coffee in hand ... Diane Kruger and Joshua Jackson leaving Bubby's on Hudson Street after brunch ... Chelsea Clinton leaving the Time Warner Center on Sunday afternoon ... Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russell walking in Midtown ... Cate Blanchett hailing a cab with her two sons ... Ed Westwick shooting scenes for Gossip Girl on the Upper East Side and later going to lunch with Jessica Szohr ... Ben Roethlisberger getting into a car outside the Mandarin Oriental Hotel ... and John Mayer leaving dinner at Nobu.

A newly unengaged Uma Thurman heading into an office building (and avoiding questions by waiting paparazzi) ... Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz walking downtown with their son Bronx ... Sienna Miller hailing a cab downtown ... Jessica Szohr walking to the Gossip Girl set on Central Park West ... Naomi Watts pushing son Sasha in his stroller in SoHo ... Kim Kardashian arriving at Fox News ... Jessica Simpson leaving the Ritz-Carlton with Billy Corgan ... Chris Brown leaving MTV ... and Taylor Swift walking into Otto to have dinner.