Francis Ford Coppola is a big fat guy who sits in his California mansion, drinking wine and thinking up movie ideas. He is also an astute critic of marriage. His problem? If his wife works, who will cook and clean?

Or, to ask it another way, when did Republicans get so bad at the race-baiting game they invented? Newt Gingrich has retracted his accusation that Sonia Sotomayor is a "racist." The old GOP would've never gotten into this mess.

Happy Terrorist Fist Jab Anniversary Day! On June 3, 2008, the Obamas gave each other a pound as he locked up the nomination, shocking whites everywhere. Now—as Dr. King dreamed—it's accepted. A year of Obama pounds, in photos.

Summer is basically here. Your kids are more wild-eyed by the day, that tiny swimsuit seems tinier and tinier, and the television has begun to fizzle and fall quiet. Except it doesn't have to! There's so much summer television to be watched and absorbed. Why, enough for a listicle, even.

Harvard has looked at the data and two studies have reached an unavoidable conclusion: Self-absorbed loudmouth guys have overrun Twitter like no other place on the internet. You probably figured. But now there are numbers.

The Brazilian Air Force, searching for signs of the Air France flight that disappeared yesterday with 228 people on board, has located debris, including oil and an airplane seat, floating in the water 400 miles off the coast of Brazil's Fernando de Noronha island.

In a much anticipated episode of the O'Reilly Factor, Bill O'Reilly addressed the murder of George Tiller, whom he frequently referred to as "Tiller the Baby Killer," decrying the use of violence for political purposes and lashing out at those on the "far left" who dare to criticize him.

Gay Bruno landed balls-down on straight, angry Eminem's face last night, thus firmly heralding the beginning of the Summer of Bruno. And it made me wonder: Based on that little antic, and the leaked details of the film, is Bruno gonna be good for the gays?

Conde Nast's fanciest magazine is infected with the dreaded Mexican Pig Influenza! Right where Anna Wintour works! Remain calm.

Conde Nast has always been able to afford the luxury of publishing money-losing magazines, thanks the other half of their parent company—the Newhouse newspaper chain—subsidizing them with cash. Those days are gone. Now, a cable company is all that keeps Conde afloat. And the Newhouse family's getting antsy:

An Air France commercial flight carrying 228 passengers from Brazil to Paris has disappeared from radar screens. A massive search and rescue operation is presently underway according to NBC. [Reuters/Yahoo]

There's been a lot of hootin'-and-hollerin' about Sonia Sotomayor and her rags-to-riches life story. But who's going to the Bronx to find out what her peeps think? I can do that. South Bronx, stand up!

An outcry from breastfeeding mothers wasn't enough to get Facebook to lift its ban on "exposed breast" earlier this year. But a breast cancer awareness campaign has finally ended the absurdly broad restriction.

Two pieces of incredible breaking news! Alaska Snow Empress Sarah Palin will tape a segment for The Colbert Report, and also she revealed the top-secret location of his upcoming "Persian Gulf" trip, on the Twitter!

The more we get the feeling that Arthur Kade, Philly's Zoolanderesque parody of himself, is actually a performance artist exploring the nature of assholery, the more we want to believe that he is real. As real as the "When Harry Met Sally" dialogue he practiced for "an astounding 12 hours."

We tracked down Kevin Maher, the former FBI informant and ex-husband of Danielle Staub of Real Housewives of New Jersey, whom he called a "coke whore." He's under a "contract" with Star for the exclusive to his story, so couldn't really talk. But he thinks Danielle's life is in danger.

Roxana Saberi, the Iranian-American freelance journalist who was freed this month after being (bizarrely) sentenced to eight years in prison in Iran for "spying," gave her first real interview today, to NPR. Her ordeal sounds even worse than you might have imagined:

On The View today the crones were talking to out gay person David Hyde Pierce, and he mentioned that he never gets to do love scenes. Generously, Whoopi said she'd do one with ol' Niles. Then, perhaps finally sensing her opportunity, ringleader Barbara Walters made a pass at Ms. Goldberg.

Oh, good, Today covered the teenage hug menace. "High school hugging has turned into a cultural phenomenon, studied by sociologists, and written about in The New York Times." A phenomenon studied by bullshit pseudo-scientists and written up as a trend in the Times? Hugs are the new hipster farms!

In the good old days of the culture wars, your teenagers, after years of being raped by Satanist daycare workers, were all organizing "Rainbow Parties" and smoking weed three times more powerful than the stuff you smoked all the time in high school. Now they are just hugging?