Well well. If you didn't get enough of Scarlett Johansson's ruinous crooning with her thoroughly unnecessary vanity album of Tom Waits covers, it is your lucky year: she is putting out a musical album, again!

The mighty Snuggie has come under assault from the doppelgangerish Slanket, the hipsterish Sealpelt, the alien mommyish Peekaru, and the camperish Lippi Selk bag. What do all these products lack? That's right: they don't look like togas. No more—the Wearable Towel is here!

Mike Tyson's 4-year-old daughter, Exodus, was pronounced dead today in a Phoenix, Arizona hospital after an accident in the family home over the weekend.

Something else you might have missed if you, like a normal person, enjoyed the Memorial Day holiday without following online media industry news: Gawker found itself in the middle of an advertising-blurring-with-editorial controversy after our sales department and HBO pretended that an advertorial blog was a Gawker editorial property.

Like hostages whose will for freedom has been completely sapped, slack-jawed Americans aspire only to befriend vapid, idolized television personalities while downing grease-laden comfort food, a new poll has confirmed:

Washington is all the rage these days! What with the politics and all. MTV's Real World series might be heading down that way, and Newsweek did that DC-set Hills parody. Well now Bravo's following suit. With—yes you guessed it because, really, what else?—an upcoming installment of Real Housewives.

We know — oh how we know! — that racist commenters can be found everywhere. But asking loyal readers of Fox Nation — Fox News' attempt to create a classier version of Free Republic — what they think of Supreme Court nominee Sonia Sotomayor seems like an especially bad idea.

How poor are people, these days? So poor that rappers can't afford to wear half-million-dollar chains any more! That's the thesis of a story which is surely false (nobody could ever really afford to wear a half-million-dollar chain), but it raises the question: what is the post-bling thing?

What does one pop culture horrorshow do when he wants to publicly mock another, even more terrifying pop culture horrorshow? He goes on the soon-disappearing Jay Leno show. Today we have drunken Judaica scholar Mel Gibson vs. horrifying swamp breeder, Nadya 'Octomom' Suleman.

Onetime Britain's Got Talent underdog turned operatic, tearjerking sensation Susan Boyle made her return to the stage tonight on the semi-final episode of the show. Did she come correct?

Is there any creature full of more self-entitlement than a suburban parent? Yesterday, a bunch of kindergartners didn't get to tour the White House because they were an hour late. Their parents are outraged and, no, they won't reschedule because they're too busy, Mr. President That Hates Children.

Oprah, America's thuggish overlord and faux cultural tastemaker, was out there today, as she always is, polluting the airwaves with her little syndicated serf-indoctrination program, looking for something cool to run up to, drop her pants, and shit all over. What did she defecate on top of today? Skype!

Baby-making lothario Larry King was on The View today discussing, among other things, the sacred act of doing it. The gals asked him if he still does it, and he said, basically, "No." But don't assume that he needs Viagra! It's just his "get up and go" that's broken..

Well, that's it. After all this tumbling and mumbling and Kara bumbling, the eighth and most bespangled season of American Idol yet has come to a screeching, crooning end. How'd it end for you? Are you satisfied? Surprised? Gassy? To work through all these emotions and sensations, let's discuss.

Cool-girl mag MissBehave went online-only early this year, and now it sounds like the people who run the place are totally closing up shop, kaput, blammo, totally erased from the face of the earth, blog and all. If you know more on this, email us. [Blogue. UPDATE: Yes, it's dead.]

Law-enforcement officials have been slamming Craigslist's prostitute ads for years. CEO Jim Buckmaster's response has been benign: We don't profit from the ads, we're very nice and friendly with the cops, etc. No more. Push Buckmaster too hard, and he will cut you, as South Carolina just learned.

Need a job, lovely lady? No, no, it's not prostitution, I swear. You just go out with a guy as his "wingwoman" and steer other girls towards him, and fend off other guys trying to horn in on his chicks. Not wanting to fuck him yourself should be easy!:

Black. Hipsters. Blipsters. Is your brain leaking out of your ears, socioculturally speaking, at the very idea? Who are they? Why are they? Fortunately there's a new article that tries—and fails—to provide answers:

RNC chairman Michael Steele is giving a big speech right now insisting the Republican Party's principal problem is that it apologizes too much, which is basically what a walked-all-over girlfriend (or boyfriend!) says, right?