Animajapesters at South Park had a bit of fun at Kanye West's expense, but Kanye didn't get upset; he's taking this opportunity to examine himself. And he's decided to stop being a "HUGE DOUCHE"!

Palin's Deceptions, a meticulous, obsessive blog devoted to proving that Sarah Palin is not the mother of Trigg, has published an exhaustive "analysis" of Bristol Palin's MySpace messages going back to 2005.

OK! Magazine has had some issues with Photoshop on their cover before. This week, they show how amputating a leg may be the easiest and fastest way to lose 90 pounds. Diet secrets revealed, indeed.

Kate Ahlborn—Harvard '07, Upper East Sider, Vanity Fair writer—ventured into Brooklyn, where dirty people live, for a weird Brooklyny art show, and wrote about it. May she never fucking return.

Rocker grrl Beth Ditto is none too pleased about her new Out magazine photo shoot. We hear that she is unhappy with how it came out. Though, considering the alternative, we think it's pretty flattering.

Impressionable tarts across America are now being pushed and prodded to buy "fertility tests" to tell them when the time is ripe, for sex. Sophisticated advertising campaigns are encouraging intercourse. Nation Of Whores much, hmmmmmm?

NBC Universal has released a statement declaring an end to the bloody Project Runway Wars. The statement, sent by NBC, claims Harvey Weinstein has congratulated Jeff Zucker. So, it could be an April Fools' prank:

Earlier we heard a rumor that struggling Conde Nast was planning to lay off its full-time receptionists. And we've received more corroboration that it's (kinda?) true! What sort of bootleg operation is this?

Another episode of Gossip Girl happened last night. There was, for the first time ever on the show, a party. It didn't go so well. People made out in the snow, and then someone died.

Fashion PR dragonlady Kelly Cutrone has inked a book deal with HarperOne. The impending tome will be "a real girl's guide to the real fucking world." OK!

Yesterday was Perez Hilton's 31st birthday! His star-studded birthday bash will be March 28th at LA's "iconic" Viper Room. And here's how his marketing firm is trying to sell people sponsorships of this once-in-Perez's-lifetime affair:

David Letterman made an honest woman of his sweetheart, and this is how the gods reward him: Blake Lively, still nursing a childhood Letterman crush, tempted the Late Show host with a threesome.

UH OH: Complex magazine put Kim Kardashian on its cover this month, but it forgot to Photoshop one of its images of her (left) until Bucky Turco caught it. Huzzah for real womanhood! [Animal NY]

You have displeased Grandfather greatly. Rather than spending your Monday evening drinking brandy in the library, chatting with a senator, you spent it watching Gossip Girl. At least hook Gramps up with a recap, yo.

Our friend Arthur Kade is moving up in the world! Philly's most inane John Fitzgerald Page knockoff is in a movie with Angelina Jolie. Eh, Arthur Kade has fucked hotter chicks:

TV Guide magazine wrote some not-so-nice things about View cohost Whoopi Goldberg's fashion choices, and she got a little mad. She called one writer an "anonymous bitch" and instructed her to kiss her ass.

Well, well. Michelle Obama has some nice arms, and now all the ladies want some nice arms. Women of America: resist this arm fixation. Do you want to end up just as dumb as men?

"Dear Mr. Charney," begins the most misguided letter ever from a third grader to someone she looks up to. What are they teaching in the schools now, porno sex for the kids?

NYC has a new subway hero—this time, an attractive young male actor. Let the starmaking machine commence! Chad Lindsey selflessly rescued a fellow rider; now we must all rescue him from Off-Broadway anonymity.

Natasha Richardson completed her flight from Canada to New York, and then apparently to Lenox Hill Hospital amid fresh reports the Tony-award-winning actress is brain dead and family are saying goodbye.