In an effort to help advertisers beat you and your god damn TiVos, the Jimmy Kimmel Show is about to start selling live ad segments that will be integrated into the episodes, rendering you incapable of skipping them. Still possible for you to skip: the Jimmy Kimmel Show. [Adweek]

Janet Jackson: famous, but creepy. The sheltered, fame-enslaved singer is starting to act as disconcerting as her sheltered, fame-enslaved brother. She went on Jimmy Kimmel's show last night, bringing a robotic, vacant stare and a heart-shaped hand sign that she flashes to her followers in the crowd like some Skull & Bones ritual, sending them into emotional outbursts for no apparent reason. Bonus educational fact: She calls her fans "Janet fans." So there. Click to watch and wonder what created this woman.

Will.i.am's rousing pro-Obama anthem "We Are the Ones", follow-up to his similarly star-studded "Yes We Can", features Jessica Alba, Ryan Phillippe, Kerry Washington, George Lopez, Eric Mabius, John Leguizamo, Ben McKenzie, Macy Gray and the Black Eyed Peas. Jimmy Kimmel's "I'm Fucking Ben Affleck," his response to his girlfriend's viral hit, "I'm Fucking Matt Damon", features Ben Affleck, Brad Pitt, Harrison Ford, Cameron Diaz, Joan Jett, Macy Gray, Robin Williams, Don Cheadle, Pete Wentz, Perry Farrell, Benji and Joel Madden, Lance Bass, Josh Groban, Christina Applegate, Rebecca Romijn, Dominic Monaghan, Meatloaf, Dicky Barrett, Christopher "McLovin" Mintz-Plasse, Huey Lewis, and Josh Groban. Advantage: Kimmel. Masturbatory in-jokes about celebrity—still slightly more popular than earnest political pandering! (Also Macy Gray will pretty much show up for anything if you call.)

"I'm Fucking Seth Rogen!" It's funny! The comedy song is a response to a response to a one-shot joke on the Jimmy Kimmel Show, but that's okay because it's better than the original. Which is just one of five rules for making a parody that gets ten million views and takes you from "second place on a listicle in Wired" to "cover story titled 'Fuck Andy Samberg, Watch This' in Esquire."

We take a breather from all things Oscar to celebrate another star-filled reacharound: The premiere of "I'm Fucking Ben Affleck" on Jimmy Kimmel Live last night. It was, of course, the response song to "I'm Fucking Matt Damon," Sarah Silverman's danceable, genre-hopping paean to cuckoldry, delivered as a Valentine to her sweetie on the 5th anniversary of his show.

The long-running "feud" between Matt Damon and late-night TV host Jimmy Kimmel reached new heights earlier this month when Damon shot a video in which Kimmel's comedian girlfriend, Sarah Silverman, declared she was "fucking Matt Damon." Immediately after the Oscars last night, Kimmel fired back with a truly epic effort called "I'm fucking Ben Affleck," which included appearances from celebrities like Harrison Ford, Cameron Diaz, Don Cheadle, Robin Williams and Huey Lewis, to name just a few. The Kimmel-Damon fight is, of course, wholly manufactured, but at least has been consistently funny, starting with Kimmel's regular end-of-show gag, "Apologies to Matt Damon, we've run out of time," and extending through to Damon's on-air tantrum about getting bumped and two gags involving Kimmel's special correspondent, Guillermo. Kimmel's latest Ben Affleck video takes the joke to new lengths — and new heights in the art of free PR:

Say your prayers, eat your vitamins and vote for Barack Obama! Or so sayeth Hulk Hogan, who suplexed and then leg-dropped an unsuspecting Clinton camp on Jimmy Kimmel Live by pledging his allegiance and his vote to Obama. And although our experience in the art of campaigning begins and ends with our run for Student Council back in high school (which, we might add, was successful ... three times!), we're pretty darn sure that the Obama ticket could really benefit by awarding the Hulkster a spot on to their roster. Perhaps this is finally the way that Obama can silence the critics who claim he lacks experience in foreign diplomacy!

Former 'NSYNC member Lance Bass popped by Jimmy Kimmel Live! to promote his memoir Out of Sync (opening sentence: "I've known I was different ever since I was five years old. For one thing, I had what I guess you could call innocent crushes on boys."). He relayed, for an extremely gay-curious Kimmel, the story of how he came out to Britney Spears back in 2004:

• Late-night talk show host Jimmy Kimmel is, or will soon be, fucking Ben Affleck. Or at least he kind of wishes. [NYP]

You didn't think that two-second mention of Diet Snapple in Sarah Silverman's "I'm F*cking Matt Damon" video would get away without being turned into a crass PR ploy, did you? Today Snapple's PR firm finally got around to watching the the thing, and put together a faux-apologetic letter to talk show host Jimmy Kimmel, Silverman's boyfriend. Given that the video came out five days ago (which is ten YouTube Years), they should have moved quicker. Or had a better idea. The beverage corporation's full note to Jimmy— and the world—after the jump.

Click to view

To celebrate the 5th anniversary of boyfriend Jimmy Kimmel's ascension to ABC's late night throne, Sarah Silverman decided it was time to come clean—in song, unsurprisingly—about the torrid, fuck-filled affair she's been having with secretly devious Hollywood Nice Guy Matt Damon, who's quietly been delivering carnal payback for years of being Kimmel's sign-off joke ("Apologies to Matt Damon, we've run out of time," etc) in the form of erotic pillow fights, up-against-the-minibar penetrations, and Scrabulous-enhanced trysts with the cuckolded host's longtime partner.

Finding it nearly impossible to land quality guests because of talent's maddening unwillingness to run a gauntlet of taunting, red-shirted WGA picketers just to spend six uncomfortable minutes trying to sound enthused about a movie they only took to make a weekend-house mortgage payment, Jay Leno and Jimmy Kimmel last night paid reciprocal visits to each other's star-hungry couches, hoping that chatting about their strike-related travails might be a diverting way to kill a few minutes of airtime.

An operative who's currently over at The Tonight Show's Burbank studios to witness the first leg of Jay Leno and Jimmy Kimmel's couch-swapping stunt has helpfully informed us that staffers are still trying to fill about 50 seats for the taping, which is apparently not as hot a ticket as they'd hoped. We thought we'd pass along this information in case any readers in the area wanted to drop by and experience this landmark moment in late-night history in person; if nothing else, it might be interesting to see how much air-time the writerless hosts can fill by commisserating about how hard it is to book guests who are willing to cross a picket line.

The WGA's displeasure with The Tonight Show host Jay Leno's self-penned monologues only continues to grow—while Conan O'Brien seems to get a pass, exempt under the "Actually Funny" clause—to the point where NBC has felt the need to issue a statement on the matter. Meanwhile, with SAG boycotting decrees making it increasing difficult to get even B-list asses on non-Worldwide Pants couches, the comedian has found an unlikely ally in another late night rival:

Like an ouroboros of unfunny talk show hosts or that kid from Miranda July's movie pooping back and forth, with the same poop, forever, on Thursday Jimmy Kimmel will appear on the Tonight Show with scabby Jay Leno's and then Jay Leno will appear on Jimmy Kimmel's show! Please writers, cease your demands! No one should have to watch this. Same poop. Back and forth. Forever.

Though we've already awarded victory in last night's Return of Late Night TV talk-show wars to Conan O'Brien, whose downy Strike Beard simultaneously displayed solidarity with his absent writing staff and offered comfort to millions of fans anxious about how Hollywood's labor unrest affects the Masturbating Bear's ability to release the painful tension in his ursine nether-regions, we think it's important that everyone be provided with an opportunity to make up their own minds about whether the jokes scripted by Guild scribes were actually more successful than ones delivered by hosts forced to generate their own material. To that end, Gawker Media video operative Richard Blakeley whipped up this montage (click the above thumbnail to view) allowing you to compare their parallel efforts at entertaining America. Enjoy.

Jimmy Kimmel Live started out with a bawdy jibe about fathering a teenage Spears lovechild—a gem likely polished to perfection while lying in a bathtub and staring at two hairy kneecaps protruding from the milky water—but then things took a serious and controversial turn: After offering his audience a primer on what it is strikers are asking for (free internet access), Kimmel said that he didn't want to "depart too much from the party line," then proceeded to board a Party Line Getaways Jet Tours Adventure, railing against "ridiculous" picket lines and SAG's blacklist bullying of potential guests, before demanding that the public "run down these weasel-faced Commies" until their "red insides fill your tire treads." Then he turned to deadpan security guard Veatrice for her take on the labor unrest.

For those of you whose DVRs lack the capacity to capture all of the action from tonight's much-ballyhooed Return Of The Late Night Talk Shows, we've got you covered: In just a few short hours, we'll be posting clips from the monologues of each host frog-marched before the cameras—even Craig Ferguson, probably!—to see how each handles the delicate matter of explaining to America why they're back at work while their writers are still outside on the picket line without actually using the words, "The network threatened to execute every below-the-line employee if I didn't come back tonight." (Or in the case of Letterman and Ferguson, we'll look at how they show off the competitive advantage that cutting a deal with the WGA affords them.) See you then for what promises to be a magically awkward evening! [Bearded Letterman photo: AP]

· Following NBC's Monday announcement that it's sending Jay Leno and Conan O'Brien back to work without writers, ABC's Jimmy Kimmel is the next late-night domino to fall, as he'll join his competitors in producing scribe-free shows on January 2nd. The now-obligatory "I support the cause but I don't want the rest of the staff losing their jobs" back-to-work statement: "Though it makes me sick to do so without my writers, there are more than 100 people whose financial well-being depends on our show. It is time to go back to work. I support my colleagues and friends in the WGA completely and hope this ends both fairly and soon." [THR]
· Universal's State of Play, which recently weathered an acting upgrade/heartthrob downgrade when Russell Crowe replaced a fleeing Brad Pitt, is now officially troubled™: Ed Norton has also left the project, and up-and-coming director Ben Affleck is now "in talks" to resume his acting career by taking Norton's place. [Variety]

Lee Gomes's "Portals" column in the Wall Street Journal usually addresses the question concerning technology with a boomer-friendly sort of phenomenology—as in, "gee whiz, look at this phenomenon!"—and little else. Today's edition seems at first no exception: Gomes has discovered a YouTube "bulging" with all sorts of talentless novelty acts—actually mostly just one sort: pasty white guy incongruously singing and/or dancing—that become famous, in a way. But Gomes interviews some of them, and finds them remarkably attuned to the limits and liminality of "being the latest, greatest Web meme... [mere] human kitsch." We learn, then, that the struggle for First Life self-actualization still demands the imprimatur of Man. And what kind of Man?"Mr. [Adam "Chocolate Rain"] Bahner is hoping his appearances on the likes of 'Jimmy Kimmel' will turbo charge a career in show business and voiceover."