There's something extremely wrong with this exchange between Jimmy Kimmel and Tom Cruise, and we're inclined not to pin it all on Tom.

Now that the Communist Party has gone after Bond girl Olga Kurylenko for becoming "movie kept girl of capitalist super stud," the actress has been freed to divulge all about her humble, Socialist upbringing. Just how humble was it? Well, as Kurylenko tells Jimmy Kimmel, she was kept locked in a fridge until she reached maturity (in Soviet Russia, you see, fridge owns you).Then, when pressed by Kimmel about injuries suffered while making the film, Kurylenko one-upped her co-star Gemma Arterton by claiming she lost not just a superfluous sixth finger but a third arm as well! Hmmm, a third arm... there's gotta be a 007 sexual innuendo in there somewhere...

Chris Noth is 54 today. Fashion publicity powerhouse (and Hills regular) Kelly Cutrone is turning 43. Whoopi Goldberg turns 53. Gerard Butler is 39. Director Garry Marshall (Pretty Woman, Runaway Bride) is turning 74. Former Jets quarterback Vinny Testaverde is 45. Strokes bassist Nikolai Fraiture turns 30. Actor Neil Flynn (Scrubs) is 48. Joe Mantegna is 61. And the least funny late-night host on TV, Jimmy Kimmel, turns 41 today.

After taking on both Florida Jews and the entire United Kingdom, Sarah Silverman attempted her biggest feat last night: a grilling on Jimmy Kimmel Live by the on/off ex she sorta kinda lambasted at this year's Creative Emmys. And then, as though that weren't awkward enough, Kimmel had an extra surprise in store for Silverman (and it wasn't Matt or Ben).After some loaded, pause-laden banter, Kimmel unveiled footage of a teenage Sarah (just look at that cute little punim!) singing her heart out. Though Silverman was initially horrified by this blast from the past, the clip eventually became a running joke that both comedians cued up when things got a little too frosty. Would that we all had such an option, but here at Defamer, we doubt that even the old VHS of us belting "Tell Me Something Good" (at age 10!) could get us through an awkward, P.F. Chang's-set reunion with some of our exes. Sarah? Jimmy? Good luck with your post-breakup journey, you crazy kids.

Cloris Leachman's improbable Dancing With the Stars run concluded Tuesday night on Jimmy Kimmel Live!, where the irascible 82-year-old hoofer ultimately settled not long after being ousted from the show's final seven competitors. Ever the gracious host, Kimmel joined her on his stage, Indian-style, for an exit interview combining a heady blend of batshittery, pathos and defiance amounting to a defeated cry for help that not even nine Emmys, a Golden Globe and an Oscar waiting for Leachman at home could quell. Or maybe it's just her final, insolent means of saying, "Suck it, Lucci." Either way, Cloris remains first in our hearts and has a standing invitation to rearrange our furniture any time. Godspeed, girl. [ABC]

Last Friday, Howard Stern finally made an honest woman of his lady love Beth Ostrosky. US Weekly has the official photos from the wedding, which took place at Le Cirque and was attended by Barbara Walters, Billy Joel and Katie Lee, Jimmy Kimmel and Sarah Silverman, and Kelly Ripa and Mark Consuelos, who officiated. What Howard's perennial sidekick Robin Quivers says was a "clever, creative, fun party" appears to have been marred only by Ostrosky's dress: The Georgina Chapman-created number, unlike the designer's usual romantic, ethereal frocks, looks like it should have been accessorized with platform stripper shoes and a pole—which, come to think of it, would have been entirely appropriate.

Alicia Keys talking on her phone in Midtown ... Khloe Kardashian and Joan Rivers selling cupcakes as part of a segment for Celebrity Apprentice ... Whitney Port walking with a friend around the Central Park Reservoir ... Chris Noth walking down Broadway ... Katie Holmes and Suri leaving their apartment on East 13th ... Gary Sinise and Russell Crow leaving ABC studios ... Aubrey O'Day posing on the red carpet at Bowlmor Lanes ... Debra Messing outside the Letterman show ... Actress Famke Janssen and her boyfriend walking their dog on Prince Street ... And Kourtney Kardashian and her boyfriend Scott Disick leaving their hotel in Midtown, just a few minutes before Jimmy Kimmel and CSI star Eddie Cahill stepped out, too.

• Three months after giving birth, 17-year-old Jamie Lynn Spears is said to be pregnant. Everyone's freaking out, "pals are begging her to abort." If only there was a national political leader, preferably experienced with teen pregnancy, who could guide the celebrity family in these trying times. [National Enquirer]

♦ In an interview with Barbara Walters which airs Friday, Peter Cook says it was Christie Brinkley's fault he cheated on her because she wasn't "meeting his needs." Oh, also, he'd like you to know he's really not a pervert. [NYDN]
♦ Sarah Silverman and Jimmy Kimmel are back together, although friends say they're "taking it slow." [People]
♦ Angelina Jolie got a tummy tuck, or at least that's what the Star says. [Star]
♦ Amy Winehouse's spokesperson says the singer is not suicidal. In fact, the rep says, "she's fine." Of course she is. [People]

· Jimmy Kimmel will return to host his fifth American Music Awards in November; confirmed musical guests include Pink and the Jonas Brothers, who will honor the institution with a Grobanesque medley of songs by influential winners like Kris Kross, New Kids on the Block, Kool and the Gang and many others. [AP] · HBO just picked up Entourage for a sixth season, thus ensuring at least two more years of Emmy retribution against host-bashing awards perennial Jeremy Piven. [THR] After the jump: Michael Douglas has a party, Woody Harrelson has a complex, and Bull Durham plots a return by Costner demand.· Eighteen years after giving the hardware to his father, the American Film Instutute selected Michael Douglas to receive next year's Lifetime Achievement Award. [BBC] · Kat Dennings is in talks to co-star in Defendor, featuring Woody Harrelson as a man who believes he possesses superhero powers and Dennings as the ADD-afflicted, poor-spelling neighbor girl who gives him his name. [THR] · Kevin Costner, Tim Robbins and Susan Sarandon are all reportedly in talks to return for Bull Durham 2: The Beer League Years. [Page Six] · Crisis averted! After less than a day of protests, Bollywood's dancing girls and nearly 100,000 other actors, filmmakers and crew concluded their big-budget production Kuchi Kuchi Pay Us Bitches in record time. [NYT]

Chelsea Clinton walking in flip-flops with a cup of espresso in hand ... Penn Badgley and Ed Westwick filming scenes for Gossip Girl outside the Palace Hotel ... Kate Winslet and Sam Mendes laughing with friends in Times Square ... Tom Cruise and daughter Suri leaving their apartment ... Rachel Bilson making an in-store appearance at Macy's in Herald Square ... John Mayer leaving his apartment with a big bag ... Madonna's kids Lourdes and Rocco arriving at the Kabbalah Center ... Tim Robbins and Brian Williams outside the Letterman show ... Sarah Silverman and Jimmy Kimmel getting in an SUV after Howard Stern and Beth Ostrosky's wedding at Le Cirque ... Angelina Jolie outside Lee's Art Shop on West 57th Street with her kids, and later leaving Nobu with Brad Pitt.

Whenever a long-standing couple like Sarah Silverman and Jimmy Kimmel hit the skids, we feel the need to play Emma and set the lovelorn kids up with someone new ASAP. And since we were the ones who debunked the news that Jimmy had already rebounded with one of his writers, we feel like we should continue our tradition of suggesting a few paramours for the pair of funny people. See our suggestions after the jump.

• The biggest loser in the Jimmy Kimmel-Sarah Silverman breakup? Howard Stern, who sounds despondent about the split. He was supposed to hang out with the couple on vacation last week, but they never showed, and when Howard later heard the news, he was so upset he had to take a walk to calm down. [Page Six]

Yesterday, we noted a Gawker item suggesting that Molly McNearney, who swiftly ascended the Jimmy Kimmel Live! ranks from lowly Chinese Theater Chewbacca-wrangling assistant to that show's head writer, had been the woman who came between Kimmel and Sarah Silverman. A Defamer tipster who knows McNearny wrote us to say this couldn't be further from the truth:

A day after the world learned that Jimmy Kimmel would teabag Sarah Silverman no more, are we glimpsing the face of the other woman? A tipster to Gawker writes: "Her name is Molly McNearney...and she's been promoted all the way (with one stop in between) from assistant to head writer for Jimmy Kimmel Live!" The last time someone ascended from the trenches so quickly, it was Merv Griffin's topiary-manicurist, Ryan Seacrest. Which doesn't necessarily mean they are doing it—just that someone saw a great deal of potential in someone else, and made all the necessary arrangements. [Gawker]

Jimmy Kimmel, low-rated late nite host and our bestest bud in the whole wide world, has broken up with his longtime girlfriend, comedienne Sarah Silverman. And now we're told by an anonymous tipster that he has already taken up with a new lady. And not just any lady. Her name is Molly McNearney (Holly Johnson's just a character she played in a skit) and she's been promoted all the way (with one stop in between) from assistant to head writer for Jimmy Kimmel Live! by the sex problem-having former Man Show (ugh) host. No word yet on which aging Hollywood It boy she's fucking, but I'll bet it's Cole Hauser. Another picture, plus a larger version of the one above, await you after the jump.

• Cynthia Rodriguez thinks her husband hired private investigators to spy on her and tap her phones, and now she wants his lawyers to hand over whatever they found. [NYP]

We don't know how many more young Hollywood power-couple breakups our hearts can bear: Days after learning that Drew Barrymore would never again look the Mac Guy in his built-in iSights, cooing, "You're so unbelievably special and have a huge, amazing heart. You really do have the soul of a manatee—free and strong and beautiful," out of the side of her mouth, comes word now that Sarah Silverman and Jimmy Kimmel's open-fucking-relationship is no longer. (Sure, this seems like Matt Damon's perfect opportunity to swoop in and bag the potty-mouthed Jewess of his dreams, but we'd argue that it was the illicit nature of their mini-bar rendezvous that really fueled the affair. Now that she's available, we doubt we'll be hearing any musical odes to fat Damon moustache rides.) While their flacks would only offer, "Jimmy and Sarah will have no further comment," usmagazine.com spotted Silverman with "a male friend" at WeHo bruncherie Hugo's, where they obsessively chronicled her every menu choice, facial expression, and A-list tableside condolence:

Well, they may be fucking Matt Damon or Ben Affleck respectively, but comedians Sarah Silverman and Jimmy Kimmel are no longer fucking each other. A spokesperson or whatever for the couple tells Us that they've amicably parted ways after five years of snide, poop-joking bliss. Silverman was spotted eating at a restaurant shortly after the announcement came through.

Funny or Die comedian Zach Galifianakis sits down for an interview with Jimmy Kimmel on his talk show "Between Two Ferns." In it, he suggests a hilarious gag Kimmel and his girlfriend Sarah Silverman can play at their local Long John Silver.