• Did Kelly Killoren Bensimon ask her boyfriend to lie about getting beat up so she could use it as a PR ploy to "better her chances of being asked back" on Real Housewives next season? That's what her bitchy co-stars are saying as part of a PR ploy to get the attention turned back on themselves. [NYDN]
• Estée Lauder CEO William Lauder is being sued by Taylor Stein, who gave birth to his baby in 2007, for stopping child support payments. [P6]
• In an interview with Matt Lauer, Michael Phelps says he made a "bad mistake" in South Carolina, although he's still not saying what this mistake was. [People]
• Lindsay Lohan has settled the lawsuit filed by a woman whose $11,000 coat LiLo took from 1OAK last year. Also: She left her poor bodyguard stranded in Las Vegas earlier this week. [P6, P6]

The never-ending parade of miseries that is Joaquin Phoenix's is-he-or-isn't-he trip from retiring actor to budding rapper rumbles on. In this chapter, he fights a heckler at a Miami show.

They're off again: Looks like those reports that Chris Brown and Rihanna are back together might not be so solid. Perez has got Brown cavorting with a Kardashian. (Say it realfast three times.)

Ben Stiller reportedly flipped out over his Oscar script the day before this year's show. But the Joaquin Phoenix impersonation he came up with as a replacement was hardly original.

amfAR kicked off Fashion Week with a gala at Cipriani last night, where the long list of attendees included Donna Karan, Mary J. Blige (left), Anna Wintour, Calvin Klein, Rachel Zoe, Julia Restoin Roitfeld, Liza Minnelli, Candy Pratts Price, Robbie Myers, Jessica Stam, Lily Donaldson, Kenneth Cole, Stefano Tonchi, John Demsey, Stacy Bendet, Andrew Saffir and Daniel Benedict, Lisa Dennison, Terence Koh, Vito Schnabel, Noemi Lenoire, Harry Belafonte, Mary Alice Stephenson, Jennifer Creel, Natasha Richardson, Stanley Tucci, Taylor Momsen, Maggie Rizer, Doutzen Kroes, Robert Verdi, Mario Cantone, Eliza Dushku, Kipton Cronkite, Derek Blasberg, and Howard and Cindy Rachofsky. [PMc, Wireimage, WWD, NYO]

Somehow we knew Alec Baldwin would come for you first, Joaquin Phoenix. The actor seems as hostile to strung-out hippies as his 30 Rock alter ego Jack Donaghy.

Everyone's been debating whether Joaquin Phoenix's crack-up, as evidenced on Letterman the other night, is real or a hoax. It sure looked real to the director of his last movie.

• Poor Gwynnie will have to brave V-Day alone, since Chris Martin's on tour and she's not sure what continent he's on. [NYDN]
• Chris Brown left Las Vegas yesterday, where he'd been holed up at the Hard Rock. He also updated his Facebook page, changing his status to single and writing, "You'll begin to see her true colors. Believe it!" [NYP, E!]
• Jesus Luz, Madonna's 22-year-old "special friend," is now into Kabbalah. [P6]
• Joaquin Phoenix is still running around town acting crazy; it's still unclear if he's drugged out of his mind or if it's just a big hoax. [NYDN]

There is a man in this photo with Joaquin Phoenix. Learn his face, for he may be the dark wizard conjurer behind Phoenix's career transformation into a trainwreck.

For all the hoaxy drama behind Joaquin Phoenix's hip-hop ambitions, you can't say the guy isn't serious about effectively throwing his film career away after watching his spectacular self-immolation last night on The Late Show.

His disastrous Letterman interview brought Joaquin Phoenix's whole quitting-acting-to-become-a-bearded-rapper shtick to a dizzying climax last night. Dave played it off as legit. Others think it's all an Andy Kaufman-esque hoax. We think it's both!

Here's Joaquin Phoenix on David Letterman later tonight, either stoned out of his mind or just medically catatonic (or both). Letterman makes several heroic efforts to politely prompt Phoenix before ruthlessly mocking him.

If you had any doubts that Joaquin Phoenix will push his hoaxy rapper persona into the depths of career ignominy, let his Two Lovers director fill you in on his insane level of commitment.

[Crazed retired actor Joaquin Phoenix at LAX; image via Bauer-Griffin]

She's old now too. It was her 40th birthday over the weekend, and her heartbreaker/lovemaker boyfriend Johny Mayer sang "Happy Birthday" to the actress at her bday bash. Tom Hanks was there!

If Joaquin Phoenix really hopes to convince the world that he's the world's greatest undiscovered rapper (and not simply its least essential hoaxer), he may have to start with winning over Gwyneth Paltrow.

Like a weird uncle who gives his adult nephew a present that reads "From Santa," Joaquin Phoenix is still struggling to prop up a hoax-y music career that's way past its sell-by date.

Now that everyone has finally called bullshit on Joaquin Phoenix, his rep has issued a denial of the rumor/CLEAR TRUE FACT that his music career is just a hoax. However, precious little is really denied:

Our left coast cousin has been calling bullshit on this for months, and now Entertainment Weekly seems to agree with them: Joaquin Phoenix's supposed rap career is a total hoax.

• Tory Burch appears to have lost her shot at winning the title of Mom of the Year: On a flight from Miami to NYC, the designer/society staple was spotted lounging in first class while her kids and nanny had to make do with coach. [P6]
• Olivia Palermo still seems to think her gig on MTV's The City is going to help her become a "serious actress," poor thing. [P6]
• Tom Cruise was photographed touching Katie Holmes' stomach, so obviously she must be pregnant, no? [OK!]
• Paris Hilton is in London this week. And she's providing lots of entertainment to the British public. She's already announced that she has no plans to choose Amy Winehouse as her new BFF, she doesn't know who the country's prime minister is, and she isn't planning to date Prince Harry out of "respect" for Chelsy Davy. [TS, DM, Hello]