In your disastrous Thursday media column: Philip Falcone cannot stop the media, a media reporter job is open now, a newspaper wants to see your tats, and the Boston Globe and Philly Inquirer are total wrecks, in separate ways.

John Koblin reports this morning that after months of searching, the New York Times Magazine has finally picked a new editor to succeed Gerald Marzorati. [Update: NYT staff memo below].

She'll talk to you, she'll play games with you, and for a little extra she'll consider doing even more. Welcome to GameCrush, the new website that helps nerds battle loneliness and young women battle the recession.

White House chief of staff Rahm Emanuel is all but certain to quit and run for Chicago mayor, possibly this week. Which lucky ducky in Washington will replace Emanuel in this miserable, cynical job? Hopefully some hack!

We hear from multiple sources that Orla Healy, the legendarily-disliked features editor at the New York Daily News, has been let go. Since Martin Dunn left the paper, Healy's clock has been ticking. Time's up. We hear. [UPDATED below].

The Washington Post hasn't had much luck with its own crappy Op-Ed columnists, so the paper's launching another contest to find "America's Next Great Pundit." As a public service, we've assembled this surefire guide to scoring this low-paid, part-time gig.

Barry Diller reportedly dropped close to $20 million on Tina Brown's Daily Beast, so earlier rumors that Tina was eyeballing the Newsweek editor's job seemed too ungrateful to be true. But...what if she could do both?

Observe a pair of workmen climbing a 1768 ft. broadcasting tower to do repairs. Note that they do it all free-climbing style, without safety ropes or anything. Look alive, coal mining. You have a competitor in the Terrifying Jobs Contest.

A bitter 24-year-old former Domino's Pizza employee from the Bronx, Jamal Thomas, was arrested Friday for allegedly setting fire to two Domino's locations and inflicting $1 million in damages. Naturally, he used pizza boxes as fire starters.

Looking to kickstart its struggling economy, Cuba announced it will terminate 1 million state jobs in the near future. Perhaps Fidel now remembers telling The Atlantic's Jeffrey Goldberg, "The Cuban model doesn't even work for us anymore." Or maybe not.

What would you do if you were fired from Domino's Pizza? Would you dress up in your old uniform and claim to be from a "secret Domino's unit"? Would you torch two stores? That's what Jamal Thomas allegedly did.

YouTube Instant is a cool website inspired by Google's new Instant Search. The site rapidly flips through YouTube videos as you type. YouTube Instant's creator, Stanford junior Feross Aboukhadijeh, got a job offer via Twitter from YouTube founder Chad Hurley.

Google is paying some people around half a million dollars not to go to Facebook, a senior Facebook engineer has confirmed. Googlers, prepare to get spoiled and entitled again, recession be damned.

There's a new survey out ranking the best financial firms to work for and (surprise!) Goldman Sachs is number one. It's no contest, especially when Goldman offers fun, camaraderie, and big ass bonuses. The past is history at Goldman Sachs.

Rev. Mark Gruber, a Benedictine monk and former professor at Saint Vincent's College, was fired last year after the school accused him of downloading underage gay porn on a shared computer. Did the school knowingly accuse an innocent man?

In honor of Labor Day, the U.S. Department of Labor has launched MySkillsMyFuture.org, "a new website to help out-of-work Americans find new opportunities." If you're an undertaker or an NFL player, they've got jobs for you! But poor rodeo clowns!

American hero Steven Slater, whose beer swilling, chute sliding antics on the tarmac at JFK airport made him an overnight celebrity, has officially been fired by JetBlue. The company gave no further details, but it's not exactly a surprise.

Veteran New York Observer columnist Simon Doonan is (trendily) leaving to go write for Slate.

New Census Bureau data shows that in cities across America, women in their post-college decade are earning more than fellas of the same age. Is that even legal? These figures reveal a clear formula to out-earning the patriarchy, right now!

First, there were paid internships. Those were okay. Then, there were unpaid internships. Those were just slightly better than nothing. Now, there are internships you pay for, which won't even get you a high-paying job. Those are a scam.