Last night's episode of everyone's favorite mystery series was so full of scheming and plotting and double-crossing and other shenanigans that it nearly gave one whiplash. Slow down, Gossip Girl! You move too fast for our feeble minds.

Daily Profile: Joe Zee

Who: Zee is the creative director of Elle. He may be better known, though, for his regular appearances on MTV's The City.

We were too busy having drinks with a bunch of business writers last night to watch The City. Fictional freelancer Betsey Morgenstern finally sobered up enough to let us know what really went down.

We were too busy eating Mexican food last night to watch The City. Luckily fictional freelancer Betsey Morgenstern is around to give us all the dirt, and eat our left-over chimichanga.

We were too busy eating gelato last night to actually watch The City. However our fictional freelancer Betsey Morgenstern was on the prowl and will bring you all the dirt on her newest nemesis Louise Roe.

Fictional freelancer Betsey Morgenstern called this morning and said she couldn't write about The City. Something to do with prostitution charges and Tom Arnold. Anyway, you're stuck with me, and I actually had to watch the show.

We were busy watching all the jokes about Leno last night to make it to Gossip Girl costume designer Eric Daman's book launch party. Luckily fictional freelancer Betsey Morgenstern never lets us down. Here's her report.

Due to an unfortunate run in with an Elle magazine intern we were unable to watch The City last night. However there is one intrepid reporter who can not be kept down, and she was there to fill us in.

Due to an unfortunate incident involving a pack of wild turkeys we were unable to watch The City last night. We did piece together the action thanks to some interviews done by our favorite roving social reporter.

Elle creative director (and regular on The City) Joe Zee turns 41 today. Senator Chuck Schumer is turning 59. Miley Cyrus is 17. Good Morning America's Robin Roberts is turning 49. Director and screenwriter James Toback is 65, as is Basic Instinct and Showgirls writer Joe Eszterhas. Sen. Mary Landrieu of Louisiana turns 54. Former Lazard chief Michel David-Weill is 77. TV chef Rick Bayless turns 55. Defense attorney Gary Naftalis is turning 68. Filmmaker Robert Towne is 75. Psychiatrist and author Keith Ablow is turning 48. Comedy writer Bruce Vilanch is 61. And child soldier-turned-bestselling author Ishmael Beah is 29 today.

We drank one too many white wine spritzers with Brooklyn Decker and missed last night's episode of The City. Thankfully we have the dispatches of our favorite cub social reporter to fill us in on everything we missed.

Unless you watch The City, you may not recognize Erin Kaplan's name. And if you do watch The City, you may not immediately recognize Erin Kaplan's face — she has several, and she likes to make them. A lot.

Due to an unfortunate incident involving talking shit about Ingrid Casares, we were unable to watch last night's episode of The City. Thankfully we were able to piece together the action with some dispatches from our favorite roving social reporter.

Due to an unfortunate TiVo glitch, we couldn't watch The City last night, but thankfully there are plenty of budding social reporters out there who can fill in for us. Here is one promising dispatch.

Below: A recap of Fashion's Night Out and the first two days of Fashion Week.

• The September issue of Harper's Bazaar features Susan Boyle in her first-ever fashion shoot. More importantly, Gossip Girl's Leighton Meester, who appears on the cover of the issue, shoots down the recent rumors that she took part in a sex tape. [Harper's Bazaar, Us]
• Rodarte's Laura and Kate Mulleavy will be designing a line for Target as part of its Go International series. Sweet. [WWD]
• Roberto Cavalli appears to have changed his mind for about the 20th time and decided against selling a stake in his company. [Reuters]

The Post's Keith Kelly reported today that Elle's parent company has been in discussions to turn over a stake in the magazine to Hearst. Could to be true? For what it's worth, a Hachette spokeswoman tells the Observer there's "no truth" to the report. And while we were hoping that Joe Zee might be able to shed some light on the situation, he seems to be preoccupied with whether or not he has swine flu. Only time will tell if a deal for Elle is in the works. In the meantime, though, feel free to a little prayer for Zee. Catching swine flu five weeks before Fashion Week? That could be tragic. [NYP, NYO]

• A group of 21 stores on the Lower East Side are coming together to offer a weekend of discounts in honor of the (capsule) trade show that's currently underway. [Pipeline, Cut]
• Modeling rates really must falling: A Hugo Boss model has been charged for taking part in the robberies of 15 gas stations and delis. [NYP]
• Eddie Bauer will survive, after all. A private equity firm is buying the company out of bankruptcy for a whopping $284 million. [BN]
• Rihanna half-shaved her head this week. Exciting! Don't think for a moment, though, it was an original move on Rihanna's part, says an outraged Joe Zee of Elle. [People, Twitter]

• In the market for a $40,000 dress? Better jump on a plane to Paris. Haute Couture Week kicked off today. [AP, Vogue UK, Independent, FWD]
• The situation at Christian Lacroix, which filed for bankruptcy a few weeks back, is getting bleaker by the day: The company may be reduced from 124 employees to 12 if a buyer doesn't materialize soon. [WWD, Cut]
• The JCPenney at the Manhattan Mall opens in a mere 25 days. Don't forget to update your cousins in Omaha so they can mark their calendars. [Racked]
• Roberto Cavalli claims he never pays attention to costs ("I don't know anything about the financial crisis"), thinks Dubai is "a city for the future," and says all he really wants is to be loved. So, yes, he's human. [Times UK]
• Elle's Joe Zee is now tweeting, just so you know. [Twitter]