On Thursday, ISIS released a video of captured British journalist John Cantlie. In the video, Cantlie, who was abducted in Syria in November 2012, calmly tells the viewer that the British government has "abandoned" him and promises to explain, over a series of subsequent videos, the "truth" behind ISIS and the ways in which the Western media manipulates that truth.

Just when you thought John — the little kid who got caught with his face in the sprinkles jar — couldn't get any cuter, he goes and appears on Ellen with his mom Erica.

Everyone's favorite lawyer show has been renewed for a second season. Cue champagne! Also today: John Goodman will make you laugh, Mimi Leder will make you cry, and Haley Reinhart will make you...dance?

Hugh Jackman eats the equivalent of this child's body mass every day. (Roughly.) Miley Cyrus gets a regrettable tattoo. Nicole Kidman says Tom Cruise "really damaged" her. Dianna Agron is engaged. TGIFriday gossip.

Welcome to Monday's gossip roundup, in which we gather every horrifying new detail about Speidi's sex tape (blackmail! ultimatums!) and how it inspires Snooki's ex. Meanwhile, Brad Pitt wants to murder BP executives and LiLo's lawyer heads back to court.

Today at Gawker.TV, John Stamos drops by Entourage to play some ping pong, Kim Kardashian tells her sister Kourtney she's "like a single mom," Mad Men is back, and The Soup tears apart last week's news coverage about Lindsay Lohan.

We went to the Elton John AIDS Foundation dinner at the Pacific Design Center tonight. The one we weren't invited to. (Ah, back doors.) But it really wasn't anything too exciting.

Erin Andrews offers thanks. Chris Noth's off the market. Kandi Burruss released a statement on AJ's death. And Don Imus remains an optimist. Good morning! It's your Monday morning gossip roundup!

Blogger In Other News caught this somewhat unfortunate screengrab on the New York Times website tonight of Apple's ad stars, John Hodgman and Justin Long, gazing lazily at a soon to be executed Missouri man.

The New Depression rolls on and those overpaid AIG failures are this week's target for populist wrath. But do you hate them more than last week's villains? Embrace your hate and vote in our poll.

• Madonna has her own Kabbalah counselor on staff to help her deal with her anger at soon-to-be-ex husband Guy Ritchie, who is just a terrible gold digger or something. A gold-digging famous movie director who hangs out with Jude Law and Robert Downey Jr. It's sad, really.

Last week — it's amazing how many tech workers missed it — California governor Arnold Schwarzenegger "terminated" (sigh) 10,000 state employees and cut another 200,000 to the state minimum wage of $6.55 an hour. Democratic state controller John Chiang (Schwarzenegger is a Republican, despite his marriage into the Kennedy family) told the Sacramento Bee that it would take at least six months to reconfigure the state's payroll system to issue blanket checks at minimum wage. The state had hired retired Cobol experts to work part-time on the system. Schwarzenegger fired them last week. Entrepreneurs, start your engines — I smell opportunity! (Cobol code from SimoTime Enterprises)

Democratic primary