John Boehner and fellow Republicans are, naturally, furious at freaking Rep. Joe Barton for apologizing to BP earlier this morning, at the beginning of Tony Hayward's hearing. Why did he do that? He could lose his fancy committee seat!

The North Carolina Republican Party is going after Tea Party congressional candidate Tim D'Annunzio because he is a druggie, deadbeat dad who once found the Ark of the Covenant (in Arizona). And he is ahead in polls.

Still fuming over the sneaky tanning salon tax, Rep. John Boehner says that after the GOP sweeps the November midterm elections, they will repeal America's oppressive health care law and replace it with some conservative "common sense." [NPR]

Sick and tired of being pushed around, called a terrorist illegal alien, the anti-Christ, and Stalin-Hitler-Mao, the president has decided to go on the offensive against his loudest critics. It's time for some DC mudslinging!

Republican frat boys John Boehner and Newt Gingrich are hurting Capitol Hill staffers' feelings.

White extremists, angry at the passage of health care reform, are mobilizing to punish the Godless Democratic lawmakers who are responsible for the coming of Armageddon. The FBI is involved after a series of death threats. Here are some highlights.

Yesterday a bunch of Tea Party anti-healthcare protesters called black and gay lawmakers 'nigger' and 'faggot'. Today the right-wing blogs want an apology — from the lawmakers, to the protesters.

Tonight on The Daily Show, Jon Stewart issued an equal opportunity slap on the wrist to members on both sides of the Congressional aisle for their party-driven, hypocritical responses to the sex scandals of colleagues. Inside, video of Stewart's remarks.

Majority Leader John Boehner's spokesman says Barack Obama's latest 11-page healthcare proposal is "shorter than a comic book," which is bad. Needs more pages! But not as many as the House bill, which Boehner called "1,990 pages of bureaucracy."

Two men turning 65 today whose glory days have long since passed: Morgan Stanley CEO John Mack, who has announced he'll step down as the firm's chief at the end of the year; and Saturday Night Live co-creator Lorne Michaels, who hasn't produced a season of SNL worth watching in years, but has yet to retire, unfortunately. Others celebrating another year today: Martin Scorsese is turning 67. Lauren Hutton turns 66. Howard Dean is 61. Danny DeVito is turning 65. RuPaul turns 49. Daisy Fuentes is 43. Diane Neal of Law & Order: SVU turns 34. Dutch architect Rem Koolhaas is 65. House Minority Leader John Boehner is turning 60. And Isaac Hanson (of the Hanson brothers, yes) turns 29.