The mantra of modern lying news executives these days is "Doing more with less." Sure, we have fewer people and pages and dollars, but we'll do more with less! Time for a new motto.

In your aspirational Monday media column: Jimmy Cayne's a rat bastard, Scottie McClellan spawns, Liz Smith groks the email, and newspapers do various sad things:

Singapore's wacky totalitarian repression just won't quit! The country's attorney general is charging an editor at the WSJ's editorial page with contempt for "impugning the integrity" of the courts. Also illegal in Singapore: irony. [WSJ]

We were drawn in by New York's new article, "This Old Sperm: Do Cougars Have the Smartest Kids." Who would have thought it was lamentation against sensationalistic science journalism?

Hey, CNN: You've got a long sit-down with Dick Cheney. Would you like to maybe ask him about the newly-revealed assassination squads that reported directly to him, bypassing all military commanders?

The New Yorker's Seymour Hersh just spilled the beans on the roving killer team in Minnesota, leaving everyone terrified, as the investigative reporter tends to do, since he's constantly revealing, accurately, various secret horrors.

College hires 50 laid-off journalists to "teach 'news literacy' to non-journalism majors." Good!

In your sunny Friday media column: Dan Peres has balls, high school reporters have dreams, Arthur Sulzberger has an honest moment, and the media at large has nothing to look forward to:

Conventional wisdom says that smaller local papers are safer than bigger papers, because they have less competition. Then again, an amazing number of people do not give a fuck about their local papers.

Thoroughly discredited PR man Mark Penn enjoys being dominated by Rachel Maddow, and charging outrageous fees to package common sense as insight for out-of-touch corporate mouthbreathers. Today: poor people like cheap things!

The only thing that stopped last night's Jim Cramer-Jon Stewart battle from becoming a total bloodbath was that it was such a rout, with CNBC's Cramer in steady retreat.

CNBC, Fox Business and Bloomberg didn't warn investors about financial armageddon, and they're not providing much catharsis now. Which is why it's fantastic that the likes of TMZ and Extra now chase financial stories.

What happened to Jim Cramer? CNBC's Mad Money host screams stock-market tips with alpha male abandon, but he looked like he was going to wet himself in his Daily Show grudge match tonight.



Having been slammed repeatedly by host Jon Stewart over the past few days for one-sided journalism, Cramer fled any real direct confrontation in his lengthy interview and instead went contrite — absurdly contrite. His voice went high and cracked, his thoughts fragmented as they left his mouth.

It sounds like Jon Stewart will be giving Daily Show guest Jim Cramer the Tucker Carlson treatment: The Daily Show's Thursday taping ran way over schedule as Stewart "repeatedly chastised" Cramer, AP reports.

In your rumormongering Thursday media column: rumors of layoffs and shenanigans at Viacom and Sesame Street (updated), Felix Salmon jumps the Fort Polio ship, Jay Carney flackery, and a journalism grad is broken:

Hah, someone fell asleep while Chip Reid asked Robert Gibbs a boring question during a White House press briefing.

In your blustery Wednesday media column: the newspaper industry burns, News Corp can't handle hardcore music, NPR needs more black people, and the NYT sells a jet:

Well, someone at CNBC finally had the nerve and basic PR savvy to answer Jon Stewart: Jim Cramer, the Daily Show host's recent favorite whipping boy, will appear on the fake news show Thursday.

"One might say, in fact, that snarky writing is a wish-fulfillment for compulsive masturbators." No, that would be "banging your cousin in real life." *Snark!* [Collegiate David Denby supporter]

Ha, the University of Chicago's newspaper dug up a 1982 column by NYT bobo David Brooks. It's about his nightmares. He had an intense fear of gargoyles, zombies, and totally weird wallpaper:

In your meaty Tuesday media column: rumors of coming layoffs (and a die-off?) at OK! magazine, a golf magazine is killed, advertising plummets, media companies may default, and Americans don't know a damn thing: