In your merciful Monday media column: Carl Kasell gets to sleep in now, more rumored AP layoffs, crazy "old media" types eschew pointless media beef, and Verlyn Klinkenborg defended like a doe, a deer, a female deer, shut up, Verlyn.

Whether you think tabloid sex columnist Andrea Peyser is sexxxy or supersexxxy, you must marvel at her hat trick in today's column: Perpetrating the most pedestrian racist stereotypes against black people and Jews, and coming out as a lesbian.

Circulation rates going up! That's great! Print's dying and someone's succeeding! THANK GOD. Except, not. While circulations go up, fewer people are getting newspapers circulated to them. How?

Newspapers are dying, which means there will never be any more investigative journalism and politicians will screw whomever they want. But it's OK, because "innovative" new "partnerships" like the Chicago News Cooperative are here to produce real journalism.

Italian novelist Umberto Eco, the go-to intellectual for journalists worldwide, has deconstructed the human obsession with all things listy. The bottom line for editors: Your listicles help readers brush off a terrifying universe of infinite chaos.

In your ferocious Friday media column: Newspaper wars in Germany are of another breed, another high school paper censored for dumb reasons, more on the BusinessWeek layoffs, and George Stephanopoulos' fluff chops questioned.

In your foreboding Thursday media column: Rumors of veterans departing their jobs far and wide, Anthony Kennedy's story weakens, newspapers and magazines lose huge money, and Jon Fine's media gig disappears.

Here is big fancy comedian David Letterman last night, mocking the relaxed on-the-scene reporting style of beloved NY1 animal-handling journalist Roger Clark. Mr. Letterman, that man you so heartlessly deride is an excellent bowler.

We've been updating our AP Layoffs List for three days with tips about layoffs in AP bureaus around the world. Here, we've organized and mapped them for you. View the national and global media carnage, below.

The AP's layoffs continued yesterday. Small AP bureaus seem particularly vulnerable. We updated our comprehensive AP Layoff List this morning with several new tips we received overnight, and we'll continue to update today as new info comes in. [The List]

Peak Palin is the idea that humanity will someday reach a point at which the demand for stories about Sarah Palin will outstrip our ability to produce them. Tonight's Times profile of Sarah Palin's stylist suggests that day is today.

In your wistful Wednesday media column: Fox News anchor moves up in the world, layoffs loom at Time Inc. and BusinessWeek, people still say they read newspapers, and Pat Kiernan has a contest, for you.

This morning, we've updated our AP Layoff List post with multiple new tips, including bureau closures in the US and abroad, and names of some more layoff victims. We'll continue to update it as info comes in. [AP Layoff List]

Supreme Court Justice Anthony Kennedy demands that you listen closely as he clears the air on this whole "Anthony Kennedy tried to censor a high school newspaper" thing, by blaming it on his staff. Anthony Kennedy loves kids. And newspapers!

In your well-regarded Tuesday media column: A Washington Times editor reaches his breaking point, the NY Daily News makes a bizarre investment, Lou Dobbs has a terrifying new career option, and magazines are now pointless.

The layoffs at the AP are indeed happening today. We're compiling a list of all the casualties—the ones we hear about and the ones reported elsewhere. Click through for our continuously updated list.

Yes, that was a real pig's head illustrating the New York Times' negative review of Jonathan Safran Foer's anti-meat-eating book, Gawker contributor Joshua David Stein has confirmed. The letters to the editor should be especially entertaining next Sunday.

When an apocalypse-themed movie rakes in truckloads of money, no copy editor on Earth, looking to top to a weekend tallies story, could withstand the temptation of the epic cataclysm metaphor waiting for them tied up with a box .

In our meritorious Monday media column: Judd Apatow questions Ken Auletta's wit, a reporter tries to pretend he is not a vicious murderer, Americans are cheap bastards when it comes to news, and all you need to know about Playboy.

New York Post, November 13: "Lou Dobbs walked away from more than $9 million when he quit CNN." And today, the Post has a brand new "EXCLUSIVE".