A reader stumbled across this photo displaying Jude Law's nanny-diddling stick, taken at the recent Live 8 concert on a Law fansite. The site makes no reference to the nanny-blasting smoking gun in Law's pants, so we have no reason to suspect Photoshop trickery. Click the image above to see a larger image of Law and wronged fiancée Sienna Miller in happier times (click here if your monitor renders the image too dark to see), or go here to see Miller throwing a timely cock-block, preventing a mysterious hand entering the frame from completing its mission to liberate 'Lil Jude from his snug prison.

Whoopsies! Jude Law's penis found its naughty way into his nanny's vagina, extracurricular genital-genital contact clearly not authorized by fiancée Sienna Miller. Reports in the the British tabloids forced the nanny-diddling actor to issue the dreaded Press Release of Shame:

• Jude Law is simply too hot for one woman. His lithe love must be shared with the world, which is exactly why he cheated on his fiancée Sienna Miller. At least he kept it close to home by doing the nanny. [SMH]
• Bonnie Fuller screws Shar Jackson the only way she knows how: Public hate-fucking, complete with photos. [Lowdown]
• Writer Robin Gregg sues Post sachem Col Allan for not paying up for Gregg's story. The catch? Gregg stole the piece from the National Enquirer. There're so many levels of wrong here, it feels right to us. [Gatecrasher]
• Happy anniversary to Courtney Love, who's now been clean and wobble-free for one year. [R&M]
• After Today co-host Matt Lauer is spotted flying solo in the Hamptons, rumors of his divorce from Annette Roque are refueled. In a perfect world, he'd hook up with Katie Couric and they'd make little NBC babies. [Page Six]
• Florida's former Secretary of State Katherine Harris gets into the healing powers of Kabbalah water. Too bad that stuff can't wash the shit clinging to her since 2000. [Scoop]

In this week's New Yorker, Tad Friend submerges himself in the William Morris shark tank to profile president Dave Wirtschafter, "exemplar of a new breed of Hollywood agent." The magazine's website features a Q & A where Friend discusses his harrowing journey amongst the bloodthirsty tenpercenters with writer Ben Greenman. Here, Friend breaks down the time-honored poaching ritual:

We know that Jude Law is possessed of exquisitely beautiful and delicate features, but that's no reason to make him sound like a lesbian making an honest woman out of her longtime companion. We're pretty sure they used the same wording when Ellen DeGeneres shacked up with Portia de Rossi a couple of weeks ago.

Hollywood PrivacyWatch sightings are sent in by our readers. Send yours to tips@defamer.com and let Nicole Kidman know you find it strange that she never eats her asparagus.

Hollywood PrivacyWatch celebrity sightings are sent in by our readers. Send yours to tips@defamer.com and let Cameron Diaz know her treadmill technique leaves something to be desired.

· Leona Helmsley fires her flak, Howard Rubenstein. [Page Six]
· London's Daily Mail reports that Jude Law and Sadie Frost are expected to split any day now. [Page Six]
· Ben Elliot launches his new concierge service, Quintessentially, tomorrow night at Sotheby's. [Page Six]
· Heath Ledger and Naomi Watts are splitting. (Am I the only one that looked at that headline and thought, "Who the hell is 'Heath Naomis?'" [Page Six]
· Director Danny Boyle is having trouble shooting the sequel to Trainspotting because the actorsEwan McGregor, Robert Carlyle and Jonny Lee Millerlook too healthy. "I need them to look like they've burned themselves out, but they've all been using face cream and Vitamin E lotion." [Cindy Adams]
· Time's bi-annual fashion mag, Time Style & Design launches on the 10th at Gotham Hall. [Liz Smith]
· Michael Douglas and Catherine Zeta-Jones appeared in court yesterday to seek redress for the Hello! photos that showed (among other things) Zeta-Jones stuffing her face with cake and waving a knife around. Senator John Kerry finds out that his grandparents were Jewish. [NY Daily News]
· Christopher Hitchens, gossip columnist: The Hitch says he thinks Bill Clinton was a CIA plant during their days at Oxford. He adds that they had a girlfriend in common"who's since become a very famous radical lesbian." AlsoJoe Lieberman's press secretary Jano Cabrera on John Kerry's revelation that he's Jewish: "Oy vey. All this talk about who is Jewish and who isn't is absolutely meshuga. That said, there's only one candidate in this race with a real lox box." [Reliable Source]

Speaking of exclusive dinner clubs, London's Soho Housewhere Jude Law's baby tried ecstacy for the first time (a heartwarming moment for all)is opening a New York branch. We're guessing that the slated location will be somewhere around... 29-35 9th Avenue. David Bowie was reportedly in charge of last week's committee meeting to iron out the details and begin the process of deciding who is and is not worthy of membership. We're looking forward to it. What with junior mobsters and Eurotrash infiltrating Lotus and Bungalow 8, there are so few places left in Manhattan where one can feel truly superior to one's peers.
Soho House NY

· After baby swallows tab of ecstacy, Jude Law decides it might be a good idea to turn down starring role in upcoming drug-running flick, White Powder [Cindy Adams]
· Tim Robbins whines that hockey opponents at Chelsea Piers are "too rough" [Page Six]
· Dick morris tells Gore he has to "ditch Clinton now" if he wants a shot in '04 [Page Six]
· Leonardo di Caprio caught videotaping his own scenes at Gangs of New York premier at the Ziegfeld [Page Six]
· Anna Wintour headed to Texas for the holidays to do some "writing" [Cindy Adams]
· Courtney Love prescribed Vicodin for a bee-sting by Winona Ryder's pill-pushing doctor [Page Six]
· Supermodel overdoses; Gore has no taste; Robert Downey Jr. is bitchy to the paparazzi at the Flaunt party; Pedro Almodovar's film is snubbed at home; and Weinstein insists he's not fighting with Katzenberg [NY Daily News]