Remember how Julia Allison, the sex columnist for A.M. New York (motto: "Charmin to the homeless"), was looking for an intern late last year? She's already nabbed one assistant, but when you're an up-and-comer like Julia, you need all the help she can get. An anonymous internet wag applied for the position, and was kind enough to pass along the correspondence. If you want to learn about Julia's upcoming projects, amazing contacts, and crazy schedule, join us after the jump. [Warning: Contains many words.]

As 2006 huffs toward its inexorable end, we decided to take a moment to recognize those personalities that made our job that much more tolerable this year. These are the people who gave us endless fodder for our douchebag mill, who were attracted to the spotlight like moths to a flame, whose stated disdain for our coverage of them was contradicted by their almost pathetic attempts to court it. The adage that there's no such thing as bad publicity has never felt more apt.

Overpaid free-newspaper sex columnist Julia Allison's hot, gaping opening has been filled, yo. That's right: her search for a new assistant has netted one "Sara," who has a freshly-minted pink blogspot blog entitled Gentlemen Prefer (New York) Blondes. She says she's "pretty sure" that her life is "one long docudrama-comedy-chick flick that hasn't made it to the box office quite yet." We're pretty sure that we love her, because honestly, we love anything that makes our job easier.

An AMNY tipster reports that tonight's staff holiday party will feature "3 hours of open bar and 15 disgruntled journalists (we found out the web staff is making twice our salaries). Could get ugly..." Sounds delightful! But what would be really upsetting would be if dating columnist and horseback rider Julia Allison were making twice their salaries. Not that we're implying anything.

From the family photo album: subway newspaper dating columnist/intern seeker, vacationing in the Dominican Republic. Ride 'em, cowgirl.

Remember our obsession with free newspaper sex columnist Julia Allison, last seen wearing a Halloween costume made out of Trojan Magnums? Also, recall that fun Daily News article about her mercenary almost-trip down the aisle? Well, just in case you don't:

A job opening, that is! What were you thinking, perv? Anyway, judging from the emails our favorite free-newspaper sex columnist has been sending to her mailing list lately, she's been getting increasingly desperate for your hot, throbbing content ( "Everything is appreciated as I have absolutely no original ideas of any sort right now.") So we weren't surprised to see this advertisement in ED2010, an email newsletter for people who think an email newsletter is going to help them become editors by 2010. (Digression: it's been called that since we were in college — are they going to change the name as the goal gets increasingly unrealistic, or is it going to be like 'In the Year 2000' on Conan? Seriously, how retarded).

Yeah, we think that foxy, unstable publisher bears a striking resemblance to someone else we know. Not her actions or anything. God forbid!! No, just her looks. Who could it be?

• Just one of the first of what we fear will be many O.J. parodies in the days, and weeks. to come. At least this one's marginally amusing. [McSweeney's]
  

We were perusing this month's Glamour (Shut up - like you can resist anything with Sandy Bullock on the cover.) and we came across "Glam cam," the feature where readers send in their photos in response to a mag-directed question. Do you see what we see? It's Gawker pal Julia Allison! Congratulations to our favorite extremely attractive sex columnist for continuing to seek out - and get - attention. Glamour is a big step up from AM New York. Now let's see you try to convince Brandon Holley you're a virgin.

We're tired, so we'll just let our favorite Big Apple DumbBelle speak for herself. It is big and beautiful, though, we'll say that much.

• Julia Allison puts her Halloween costume back on in response to our thoughtful bio. [Julia Allison]
  

I was sort of annoyed that the New York Times didn't interview me ... I'm sort of surprised no news producers have called me yet.